It's been about 5 months since I've last seen most of you. Since then I have traveled from Kona, Hawaii to Asia for two months of mission work. I've been privileged enough to step foot on all three major political capitals in Asia: Seoul, Beijing, and Tokyo. In two months, it's hard to imagine that I've made any kind of meaningful impact upon even a tiny fraction of the hundreds of millions of lives those capitals represent. I think I'll trust in God for the lasting impact that our team had in those lands and the wonderful stories of God's power that I will most likely never hear.
The first three months of this five-month program were spent in Kona, Hawaii going through lectures on varying topics deemed central to the discipleship of a Christian. During that time we heard week-long lectures on topics such as "hearing the voice of God", "the father heart of God", and "evangelism". The moment I stepped on the Kona campus God began working. However, not with a big bang like I had kind of hoped for. Instead He worked in unexpected ways drawing me out of a shell I never knew existed. He kept tugging at me while drawing nearer and nearer to me and as I was pulled irresistibly toward Him, I was able to understand more clearly what exactly God was drawing me away from.
In my understanding of God, it was my job to hold on to Him with all I had and never let go; to cling on to God's hand and please Him with my accomplishments and make it easier for Him to bless me with His help every now and then. I found that trying with my strength to hold on to God was a lot like trying to tightly hold on to a fistful of sand in my hand. The harder and more desperately I tried to hold on to Him and show all my gold stars to Him, the emptier I would feel. I slowly began releasing my grip and cupping my hands together in expectation of the life and blessings He couldn't wait to pour into me. God began pouring into my life powerful relationships that truly changed me. Sitting in that posture of expectancy and worship, I suddenly realized that I was free. I was free to worship, free to make friends, and free to experience God. When my hands were tightly clenched, I realized how much of my energies went into worrying about the fact that others weren't doing the same! I was free to love others without the burden of examining them with a critical and judgmental heart.
In my two months abroad, our team stayed at seven different cities in Korea, China, and Japan which meant that we were moving around quite a bit and engaging in a wide variety of ministries. It was great to see such a variety of cities and get a sense of the unique spiritual and cultural characteristics each city possessed.
In the city of Tumen, while overlooking North Korea, we each taught a class in a skill we each had in our backgrounds. One taught Spanish because some students were sick of learning English, another taught a hair designing class, and still another taught a film class. Even though it was only a week and a half spent with the children, it proved to have a lasting effect on our team and set a good tone for the rest of the outreach. In Seoul we presented a worship dance and a silent skit to various church groups and organized a special two-day event for the North Korean defectors living in Seoul. We were able to serve them and learn first-hand about what was going on in North Korea. Hearing the weeping of a heart broken mother longing to see her captured son was pounded into our minds. It was a moving time for our team as the plight of the North Korean citizens now had a real face.
We traveled through other cities teaching English, dancing with the elderly, and learning about ongoing but hidden efforts along the border of North Korea and China to provide a gateway for more Christian men and women to enter the nation. We attended different government churches and at one of them, we were even invited to speak to the youth service—an illegal activity that would have cost the church a huge monetary penalty if caught. One noteworthy thing was the surprising similarity between a government-regulated church in northeastern China and an average church in America. Some churches seemed even more alive than many church services I have been to in Southern California. This observation really convicted me and made me consider what function the church was to play in our own lives.
Anyway, we continued our outreach in Dalian where I staffed a miniature form of what I had done in Kona, Hawaii. A "mini-DTS" where about 30 Chinese people came from all over northeastern China to participate in a ten-day intensive training course. It proved to be the highlight of my outreach and melted my heart for the Chinese people. It was an overwhelming experience to see the desperation and yearning of the Chinese Christian and deeply convicted me of my own "desperation." It was a shaming experience to see their hearts and their abandonment for Jesus when I was put in a leadership position over them. Shaming here is used in a positive way; my shame pushed me into a greater longing to reach that posture of a heart. The one so beautifully modeled by these crazy-for-Jesus university students, church leaders, and regular Christians.
Reflecting on the past five months, the one word that sticks out most is: humility. My world exploded before my eyes the moment I arrived in China. I was no longer just a Christian in Southern California trying to be good so God would like me. I was part of this world of human beings feeling the same emotions as me, praying the same prayers as me, and rejoicing in God like me. I entered into the global body of Christ. This realization left me in awe every time we traveled across the countryside of China and I reflected on the number 1.3 BILLION. This fact humbled me in a way no other experience could have done. My life suddenly became insignificant. I was forced to declare that there really was absolutely nothing I could do to affect this world in any meaningful way. And I think that's exactly what God wanted. It forced me into a posture of knees-on-the-ground hands-in-the-air Christianity. In Kona and in China I witnessed the lives of men and women living amazing lives of power and authority—while on their knees in humility. In the light of God's majesty, I found that I could not but do the same.
In my vast stores of wisdom and years of experience, I feel this organization that I am involved in, Youth with a Mission, is one of the most transparent conduits to pour out God's love and truth into this world that is active today. I really have no real experience with mission organizations nor have I been around long enough to really have much weight in my words, but God has shown himself to me in ways I could never have hoped for and increased who He is in my life. That is why this next month, I will be returning to Kona to staff another group of students like me who decided to seek God in a slightly different way. It's focus is China and is led by John Goh and James Lee. I don't know what God has in store for my next few years, but for these next few months, I will be pouring whatever I can into the lives of more leaders and desperate seekers of God and for that I am very excited.
These five months were merely a step towards living a life continually in that posture, but boy was it a step. Thank you so much for being a part of this. In so many ways you have been what brought me here. Whether through prayer, financial support, or just serving as a memory I could look back on fondly, you have served me in ways I could never repay. May God bless you for your love and kindness many-fold that with which he has blessed me.
