jesusfreak9508's Xanga

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Sat, 16 Apr 2005 23:31:10 GMT

Got a new xanga, its Elissa08.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Sat, 16 Apr 2005 22:11:13 GMT

Hey it's Saturday and i am sooo bored it's not even funny. My dad is being such a bitch and so is my mom. They wouldn't let me do anything so this weekend, so far has been as boring as hell. I was going to go finally meet Jake tonight but i don't think that's going to happen. Because of my stupid parents. anyway i don't have much else to say because my life is so freaking boring. I swear i think i'm gonna go crazy! All i've been doing is cleaning house, doing laundry, and watching viva la bam. i love that show! it is soo funny. i'm gonna download some music and finish cleaning my room and see if kari wants to stay the night, maybe it won't be so boring if she's here. Well see ya!

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 02:19:08 GMT

Uhhh! Today was awful! One of my best friends Ashley made me sooo mad I was about to kill her. She kept calling Olivia a slut, and named all of these stupid reasons not to hang out with her. I got really mad when she told me I try to be just like her, and that I cut myself because she does. When she said that she completely crossed the line. Why in the hell would I cut myself and hurt myself just because she does? I can't believe she even said that! Then later she said that I'll never get a boyfriend or a husband because they'll see the scars on my body and think I'm psycho and leave me, and if anyone does marry me, that they are psycho too! Thanks Ashley, what a great friend you are! Just another thing to put on the list of things I hate about myself. Hmm... let's see... I'm ugly, stupid, annoying, immature, stuck up, rude, I have a bad personality, and now I'm psycho! Those are just a few things I've heard from my parents and other people. So thanks once again Ashley for giving me another reason to hate myself. Oh and by the way, my parents say enough about Olivia that are stupid and untrue, so I don't need to hear that from you! Yeah, so as you can see my day hasn't been going to well. Zach still won't quit calling me a lesbian, and it's making me really mad. Well I'm gonna go.

~Elissa

Friday, April 08, 2005

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 01:02:48 GMT

I had a horrible night last night. My dad was yelling at me for all this crap that i didn't even do. He says all kinds of stuff about me and i even told him that i was really mad at him and that i don't think he is a very good parent. Later i went to my room and did what i ususally do when i get in a big fight with my parents, i cut myself. This time i used scissors on my wrist. I got in the shower afterwards and when i got out i noticed my veins were all swelled up. It kind of scared me. I guess since i want to die anyway it wasn't that bad. Today was awful, at first. Sam, Byrd, and Taylor were calling me and my friend Lacey lesbians and saying that i was part guy and all this other shit. They were so mean. Then i was telling Kendall about it and i said that they said we (me and lacey) made out and Jared was like you and Olivia? i was like no. He said that it would be really hot if we did. I was like that is soooo gross Jared. Anyway i got online and talked to Sam and he said he was sorry and that he was just joking. He asked if i had a bf and i said no and he asked why not. I told him b/c nobody likes me and he said that someone did, he also said i was really pretty. Anyway we talked for like two and a half hours. He is really sweet. So all in all, aside from the almost killing myself, my parents yelling at me, and people calling me a lesbian, I'd say these past two days haven't been that bad. And i get to go shopping tomorrow with madelyn. Well i'm gonna go. ~Elissa

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 06:17:45 GMT

I just experienced the date from hell. Jake was going to go with me but he got sick and Cameron ended up going, which i guess he wasn't to bad. I was actually surprised he went with me because Micheal said he probably wouldn't because i'm not a whore. My parents are dumbasses and went to the movies too, the same movie theater but different movies. They didn't know i was going on a date, and thanks to Olivia, they know we went to the movies to meet them. Cameron was nice i guess, he said i was really pretty. He put his hand on my leg close to my knee and then slowly worked his way down, i didn't say anything, but thank God my legs were crossed!!! it was awful. Maybe next weekend i can go with Jake, Olivia said he is really hot. Micheal wanted to make out with Olivia and asked me to go away and i said no, and he was like please...but i still said no because i wanted to sit with Olivia, not by myself with Cameron. We saw the stupidest movie, Are we there yet, it was sooo retarded. Micheal said he thought that Cameron would be all over me, but he said i was so hot that Cameron probably didn't know what to do. Yeah right, i'm not pretty at all. He said i was really skinny too, but i don't think i'm that skinny. Byrd told me i needed to gain weight, and so did Jared. newayz, i wanted to tell everybody about my awful date, (which i wouldn't consider a date because we barely even talked) not that anybody cares!

Friday, April 01, 2005

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 03:04:31 GMT

Omg! I am soooo nervous about tomorrow night when I go to the movies with Jake. I've never even met the guy and I'm going on a date with him. What if he doesn't like me? What if he thinks I'm stupid? Ahhh!!! I don't know what to do! I am sooo confused. Ok, maybe I'm freaking out for no reason. I have nothing to be worried about, right? I'll be fine.....I hope. Even though nobody probably cares, I'll tell you how it goes. Well I'm gonna go be nervous some more, later!

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 03:30:31 GMT

i had to go back to school monday, i hate school. the people there are retarded and there are like no hot guys...lol. i didn't get to go to the party thursday because olivia never called me back. she said we could go to one saturday but my mom said i couldn't stay the nite with her because i was easter eve. but hopefully i'll get to go to the next one. i get to go to the movies friday... maybe. olivia is going with this guy named micheal and i'm going with jake, i dont know him though. olivia said that he is really hot and he saw a picture and said i was effing hot, i was like ok whatever. so i'm going with him and then staying the night with olivia. i was gonna go with cameron, which i have never met either lol, but he wouldn't go out with me because i wouldn't sleep with him. who the hell does he think he is? im not like that, and he is a jerk for even thinking that. guys can be so rude sometimes, it really ticks me off. omg, my aunt had her baby, her name is caroline and she is sooooo cute! i luv her already! newayz my mom is yelling at me to get off the computer so i'll cya lata!

~Elissa

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 20:00:34 GMT

Spring break, and i'm sitting here home alone. i am so lame. i was supposed to go to a party last nite with my friend olivia. it was going to be soooo cool, but did i go...no! We had no ride, so ya! But i'm going to one thursday so it's ok. this guy named kaycee was going to take us. he goes to high school and he said i was hot and couldn't wait to meet me. he saw a picture of me and stole it and said he jacked off to it. i was like omg, that is gross. and he said he wanted to have sex with me, but he has never even met me, and besides, i am soooo not like that. newayz, i'm sitting here by myself listening to music and watching tv. great spring break, right? lol, just shows you what an exciting life i have! i can't wait until thursday though, because that day i'm going shopping with my friend madelyn, and then staying the night with olivia, which means we will go to this other chicks house, have kaycee pick us up, and then go to the party. but shhhh dont tell. lol. Well i'm gonna go, cya later! buh bies!

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Tue, 15 Mar 2005 23:48:02 GMT

Hey, i'm just listening to music. Today was ok i guess. I have a crap load of homework though. I have a geometry and science test, geometry homework, english project, english worksheet, and i think that's it. Wait? Why would you care. I guess i'm just talking to thin air but, I feel kind of different today for some reason. Well this chick at our school got pregnant. She is actually pretty nice, sometimes she can be a little mean though. It just makes me think how hard it will be for her to go to school while being pregnant. I mean think how many people will talk about her behind her back, and all the rudes comments. Half of the girls in our school aren't virgins, and i don't think they have any room to talk. I don't know what i would do. It's really sad. She brought it upon herself though. Well i'm just rambling on, so i'll see ya later.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Thu, 10 Mar 2005 22:26:29 GMT

Ok, ok, I know I was a little harsh in my last entry, but I was really ticked off. So I just wanted to say that I am sorry Ashley and that I love you and I always will. This xanga journal thing really helps me calm down and everything, it's like I'm not afraid to put anything that I want in here, and I don't care what anyone says to me or about me, well almost. Newayz, today I got sooooo mad at Ashley and Jared. (once again ashley I love you) You see Ashley was writing something with a pen and somehow she managed to get some on her face. She asked me if there was anything on her face and I said yes and started laughing because it was pretty funny. I told her she got it off but I guess she thought I was being sarcastic, and spread black ink all over the right side of my face! I got mad and hit her and Mr Gillson blew up on me, saying how immature I am and all this other crap, I was like can I at least go to the bathroom to wash it off? And he said ok. When I got back from the bathroom I sat by Lacey and Erica. Lacey got in trouble and had to go out in the hall and she said she would buy me a slice of pizza at Geno's so I was like ok I'll pay you back later. She went to the band room and got in trouble by Mrs Brady and went back to the classroom in the hallway. She asked me for my money but I didn't have enough. So I turned aound and asked Jared and he was listening to music in class and he was like Elissa stop talking to me I'm trying to learn, i was like bull crap, learning my butt! (but i didn't actually say that in class) and then I turned around again and I was like Jared really, do you have any money, and he said the same thing really loud and then said that I should move back to where I was sitting because I was distracting the class. Then Mr Gillson looked at me and was like yeah Elissa you need to move right up here next to Corey (ewe x10) So I got up and he said or do you want to go in the hallway? OH MY GOSH! He is such a retard, I was doing exactly what he told me to do! Then everyone is laughing at me and I felt like a total retard! And then at the end of class I usually walk to my locker with Ashley and sometimes Byrd, but do they wait for me? NO, WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT? It really made me mad because I didn't even do anything. I would be cussing a crap load because of how mad I am, but I am trying to stop cussing because...well I don't really know....oh yeah, because Madelyn kinda gets mad at me and like I said before in another entry I would do anything for my friends. So neway....that's all I wanted to say. Sorry for whoever reads this because my life is as boring as crap...wait, I don't have a life!!! Sorry once again Ashley, love ya!