going to korea has made me just reaffirm the weakness I have towards God... my limitations, my weaknesses, my... I don't know how to describe it, it's just I usually try to live my life according to myself, according my 'rules' I guess... but that's not how I should live it, I betray God everyday, I lie to myself and lie to Him and sometimes I just feel so mad and regretful at my actions and, especially, my thoughts... using God and my belief to propel me in this world, using God selfishly and prematurely, not believing in Him and the path He has set for me, not trusting in Him, thinking that I should live in the name of God when I don't, acting like a hypocrite, aigo, there's so much that I lack in my belief... forgive me God for I have continued to failed you and myself... but, even though I may not fill out my role in this world, I hope, from my heart, hope that I will be able to say at the end of my life that I have fulfilled or, at least, deeply tried to follow in your son's footsteps =\

And i haven't even been going to church during my stay here, sigh, but at least I have a way of keeping up with the sermon's back home:

07/03/2005

1 Peter 4:8

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.

(1) Love your parents. Your parents have and will always love you unconditionally. Whether it be the small or big things they have done for you, you should always pray for them and thank them. Even if you say those three simple words "I Love You", they appreciate it whole-heartedly.

(2) You should not hide your own identity. Even if you hide your true self, you still know the truth. By putting up a false appearance, you slowly deteriorte your true inner self. And once you start to crumble inside, it will be difficult to rebuild the foundation again. So be honest and truthful.

(3) Love the Lord with all your heart. God's love is amazing and miraculous. God sent his one and only son to save you and that is why you should thank the Lord for eveyrthing in your life, even the small things like for having eyes to see or a mouth to speak. Try to not think ahead towards the future, but think now. Love the Lord and your parents now for both of them have eternal love for you.

06/30/05 – Morning Sermon

2 Corinthians 9:6
Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.

Galatians 6:7-8
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

Everyone adopts bad habits and you cannot get forgiveness for them. For example, you would use profanity as a way to express anger if you are spiritually weak. It is difficult to fix habits as time progresses because you get accustomed to them.
Many people misinterpret love. Love does not stem from lust or your sexual desires. For example, men would view woman as a tool to satisfy their sexual desires by looking at an adult site. They misinterpret the profundity of love and therefore that love disappears within them. Since a seed of sin has been implanted, it is inevitable to become truly happy and blissful. People’s first impression or desire to have a partner is not love but rather instinct. It is natural for human beings to satisfy their own intentions first. Unlike lust, love is when you help your partner’s spirituality grow.

06/30/05 – Evening Sermon

You don’t need to do everything that is necessary. The most dangerous truth is when one thinks that he/she always has to do something. We choose to do what we do because we are aware of the consequences if we don’t take those actions. For example, we don’t have to attend school, however, we do so because we know that if we don’t receive an education, it will definitely affect our lives and will make it more difficult.

Ruth 1:16-18
But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.” When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her.

Ruth had no obligation to live with her mother-in-law Naomi, but she chose to stay with her.

I am grateful for these words...

http://www.fumc.net/yg/ =)