| Wow, I can't believe the last time I updated was more than half a year ago. I guess late update better than never. I have been planing my wedding for also 6 month already. I can't say I am busy planning because I have so much time and just kind of procrastinating the whole process. Recently there something happened that reminds me of the past with Benny's family. I guess I have been avoiding his family for way too long, I don't even know how it works anymore. For the past five years I've been successfully avoided all the drama that happen in his family. Since we got engaged, I been seeing his family a lot more. The drama resurface, I was very scare, I don't know how to handle that anymore. I just told my first lie, and I am so affair there will be more to come. I don't know why I would be scare, I guess I have bad past experience. Sometime I really don't understand how can a family function base on lies, and gossips. I mean if your family members are ling to each other, then who in the world can you trust?? Everyone is two faced, I can never know which face is the true face, maybe both faces are fake too. Sigh.... I can't believe this is the family I will get to look forward to. I guess I can, because I know for a long time but I guess I have been away from them for too long and now seems like a new shock to me. Will I be strong enough to be the person who only speak the true in a family that's base on lie and gossips? Sometime I really don't know what to do, when I tell the true I was told that I don't think before I speak, if I have to carefully think before I speak then don't ask for the true because it will be a well thought lie. Not speaking will be a good method, but not speaking is wrong too, because if a question was ask she will expect an answer, only an answer she want to hear than why even ask?? wanted someone to agree with her thought, further confirmation that she is right. I gave a best well thought answer she want "I don't know, I guess you are right, he must of miss understand" This answer is the most satisfying answer because it came from me. If anyone should know the true regarding him I would be the best person to ask, if I am too agreeing with her then no other confirmation is stronger than that. In this situation I was told that it's completely Benny's fault that she doesn't believe his mother, but then I was told to learn not to believe her. Then which statement is correct?? to believe her or not believe her?? or appear to believe her but actually not??? I know his approach is wrong, he should not use harsh words with his parent, but that's not necessary it's all his fault to speak the true. If he used a better approach technique would there be a different result?? How does this family get to this point?? I think that question can never be answer. But I know that a person's creditability is base on their action, if her own son and daugther-in-law don't even believe her is a trustworthy person?? I don't want to judged anyone, but I think their relationship get to this point is not because of Benny's bad approach technique. I also understand why his parent upset, especially his father. He spoke to me in that phone call more than he ever had sum up the past ten years, he said he worry about benny's personality, how he doesn't know how to approach people, and he doesn't have future plan. He worry that he had never had any hard time in his life that can sharpen him and prepare him better for the real world. I can say that he discredit his son too much. How come within the family you still have to talk carefully and put up your guard?? Why can't you be honest with your parent?? Those are the closest person to you. I don't think that talking to parent require techniques or sugar coat anything. The only reason that he doesn't tell his father his plan is because he have a different ideal from his parent that doesn't necessary mean he is wrong. Everyone in this world have different value. They have never really understand each other. He said that if one day benny fail he will help him. He sounded like almost expecting him to fail. I don't want to sound like a child, but I believe we are really old enough to think about our own future, they really don't need to plan anything for just in case he fail. His parent don't really need to worry on how he spend his money, if anyone should be worry, that person should be me. I will be his wife soon, and will start a family with him. Everything comes down to money, I really believe money is all evil, even within family. Why holding Benny's $3000 because he doesn't want him to have too much money in his bank account?? And then turn around and said that since you need to spend a lot of money on the wedding so I'll lend you $15,000??? I don't understand. These people are so two faced, I can't believe anyone of them. I need to remind myself from now on not to believe anyone of them, because none of them is trustworthy. |
