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jiehmei04
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Country: United States
State: Texas
Birthday: 9/25/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: trying to whistle.. -_-.. sleeping.. eating.. ^_^
Expertise: i can almost always tell what's cooking just by the smell =D
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/8/2003
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| I don't generally keep music illegally, but sometimes I make exceptions. Recently I came across a few CDs that a certain someone had given to me. The music is amazing as I trust that person's taste, and it's obscure enough that I don't generally hear it in other places other than my computer or earphones. When I heard these songs though, I just thought back at how much fun we had once, and yet how much our relationships have changed since then. Is this what it's going to be like a year from now? I really want to settle in one place for more than a year now, but I wonder if I'll be able to stand it. Do the days go by faster when you only have 10 days of freedom to enjoy?
I'm tired of people assuming that I'm going to stick with one company and that I won't try anything else or that I'll become a snob and waste my money on luxuries. When have I ever been that type of person? I'm going to get a job, there's no question about it, so why do people keep questioning my judgment? I've brought myself this far, I'm not going to betray myself over one decision.
On a completely different topic. I am going through reverse culture shock. I keep assuming that middle aged white men are dirty, and that all Asians that I don't know have accents. On top of that, I'm so cold in my house. I miss sweating.... I also kind of miss being legal.
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| While I was on the plane, I suddenly felt like I was saying goodbye to myself. Then I quickly fell asleep and forgot about my sudden panic. Arriving in Arlington, first thing my mom says, "did you get fat?" Some things never change which I quickly learned permeates through my whole life, and it's only been 2 days. I can't wait to graduate and move on with my life. Please, don't let it be Houston.
I didn't think I'd miss being legal, but today I was denied wine at Macaroni Grill. WHAT THE HECK!
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| I took my last final 3 hours ago. I'm leaving to go to Bintan and Lao in 9 hours. All I can say is crap. I can't believe it's really ending. I don't want to say goodbye, and so for some people that I've seen, I've just gone ahead and given them the impression that I will see them later. Is that terrible? I will see you sometime again. I promise I'll visit if we keep in touch.
I hate packing up the little things. I wish that I could just take all of the things that I want and then leave with them leaving all my trash and leftovers behind. Too bad I'd probably get fined pretty badly for doing that. Usually someone helps me clean up the rest of the stuff.. Alvin.. my dad.. or just leave it for the roommates... This time, it's not the same. I really moved here all by myself, and I am really going to leave here all by myself. I haven't shed any tears yet, but maybe they'll come on the plane again. Siiiiigh. I want to take Singapore with me.
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| Got back from Cambodia and Thailand. My sleep schedule is all whack now since I didn't sleep after I got back so that I could study for my 2 exams. Then I slept a whole lot to compensate for that and staying out all night. I can't believe it's coming to an end in less than a week. I'll be home in about 2 weeks and who will I be when I return? We were having a talk in the taxi last night after coming back from Arab Street. How people should not have any expectations in the relationships that they shallowly make here because when we return home, we're different people just because of our environment. Granted that each person you meet you feel like you also meet their home, things are going to change, and there's nothing that we can do about it. We might try to keep in touch, but who knows which ones will last or how long others will last for.
I'm ready to go home though and return to my uneventful self. I'm idealizing my Austin life again. Same thing happened when I was co-oping. I'm just imagining myself in the lab at CPE or walking back to the apartment late at night or driving along the highway listening to my favorite CDs. Even sitting in my apartment typing away or baking a cake or cookies for my friends. I think I spend a lot more alone time back at home, and it will be nice to not have to feel like I have to go out. Call me when you want to hang out wholesomely.
Next week I have one final and then it's off to the beach then off to Laos for some cultural immersion. I'm pretty excited to finally be able to relax for awhile. Maybe get some final reflecting done before I have to face my real responsibilities. This semester has been like a college students Eutopia. I'll miss it for sure, but you can only float so long before you have to once again ground yourself in reality. Time is running out here.
Question of the day: Marriage, necessary or not?
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| alvin: u didnt say same time!!!! me: your memory is worse than mine me: yes i did alvin: u just said same day me: why else would i have said that i would go to michael's and not yours? me: context clues alvin: ... alvin: no that is not context clues me: seriously alvin: thats stupid girl talk alvin: im a boy me: hahahahaha me: so you're stupid? alvin: im oblivious to all context clues me: is what you're saying? alvin: im saying ur stupid!!!!
How long have we been friends? And still, always get lost in translation.
bro: for some reason bro: i am now remembering when i worked at bestbuy bro: and some lady came in wanting to buy a computer bro: and she called the monitor the picture tube bro: except she said bro: picture more like pitcher me: hahahaha bro: i forgot how she posed the question bro: but she thought computers could also act as tvs me: was she incredulous when you told her they were different? bro: she was somewhat surprised bro: haha bro: she got this look like what a crappy deal
Good, random conversations make me miss home, but at the same, I have good conversations here, too. Let's bring the two worlds together, shall we?
I think I find some things a little too amusing, and I don't think others share my same interest. I suppose I should stop and try to be normal.
Speaking of becoming normal, Suddenly I'm sleeping less than before, and I'm fully awake. I found an area where I like to study now. In the midst of the shelves of books, there are benches with nice motivational quotes. I can extend my legs and look out through the window at the nice green trees. One of my favorite things is to look at trees outside of windows just to relax. Maybe that's why my blinds are always closed in my room here. There aren't any trees outside for me to look at. I'm concentrating better and taking things in instead of just going through the motion. I'm really looking forward to going to Laos and Cambodia so it better happen. I'm kind of sad now that I only have 1 week to travel around though. Laos seems like the type of place that you sit and reflect for a bit. I also found this program at UT that I want to get involved with. The problem is that it's a 2 semester thing so I'm not sure what I'm going to do about that yet. Graduate in May and spend my summer doing something else? Perhaps tutoring in California? Actually, I was looking into Teach for America earlier and then remembered how much I dislike teaching. I don't know though, teaching in elementary? It could be a valuable experience since they train you, then maybe I could improve on my communication skills. That'd give me two more years to think about what I want to do with my life. Graduating feels so definitive. I don't really think that it is, but that's the feeling that I have from it so I really want to at least leave school with some sort of passion or goal that makes me feel like I'm not just wasting space. Maybe when I go back to Austin and volunteer at the farm, I'll realize that my passion lies with the land, and then I can make friends with all of the bugs like the farmer does. I feel more motivated now to finish. Too bad I lost all of my Chinese books and didn't realize until today. I could have done some good studying. Instead, I typed up my 数来宝. A lot of it didn't make sense so I had to change it. =( Luckily, I figured out that if you write the pinyin in phrases, then the program can figure out which words you want. I was typing them individually this whole time. So many hours.. wasted. I think I will read about how the US influenced Asia tomorrow.
I'm going to miss Singapore. I can tell because I miss it already.
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