jintonic5's Xanga

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 18:52:15 GMT

wow i've been away from xanga for just about a month and they've up and changed everything on me! this is going to take some getting used to.

thanks to everyone for their well wishes!

so just this past week i went to the accepted students open house. i couldnt' help but be a little tripped out at the thought that i was meeting people who would probably be an intimate part of my life for the next ~5 years. they seem like a pretty cool bunch, but it's difficult to tell in that type of setting what people are truly like. hopefully no one's a psychopath... or perhaps i should say hopefully everyone's crazy like me :P

i slept waaaayyy too much today- i haven't done this in a while. getting up mid-afternoon is a luxury that i used to like but lately i don't feel like it's something i want or should do. sort of akin to driving a hummer- may be fun, but ridiculously costly and entirely not worth it. i still have to get dinner, buy groceries, and get myself to the gym. for breakfast i had 2 eggo's with butter + brown sugar, and a huge bowl of cereal. yesterday i had a whopper meal from BK, plus i've been drinking like a fish lately. not very healthy! crap, now that i think about it, the house is a mess, and i should really clean up a bit. boo. i swear, unless there are extenuating circumstances (heartbreak, mourning, hangover), no more sleeping in past 12.

ME?? a PhD student? hahahha :D

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 13:00:12 GMT

Boston College PhD candidate in Biology, entering class of 2008!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 22:09:05 GMT

sometimes i'll listen to the radio and song lyrics will make me stop and pause. these days this tends to happen whenever i hear broken hearted love songs dealing with regret and longing. i've broken off serious relationships in the past, and while it hurts to do so and sometimes i wonder if i did the right thing, deep down i know i made the right decision. when it comes right down to it, i'm not ready to love someone, not the way the right person should be loved. i have a lot of growing up to do, a lot of inconsistencies to fix. perhaps i've let too many voices fill my head with seemingly good ideas, thereby crowding out my own. it makes it difficult to decide whether what i want is what i really want, or what i think i want. rather cliche in a twenty-something angst sort of way, but it's true (or at least i think it's true, or is what i want to think is true.)

sometimes i feel empty and alone, and i miss having arms hold me, but more often then not i'm excited for the things that i will do, the experiences i'll have, and the people i'll meet. i've been blessed with the love i've received and have been able to reciprocate, and perhaps the best way to honor that love is to become a fuller, richer person to love.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 03:00:56 GMT

i've been going kind of crazy with the credit card. please help me stop the madness.

on the bright side- i got great seats to see carlos santana in march, and aretha franklin in feb!

i figure they're both old and may just kick the proverbial bucket before they go on tour again, so really this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. haha how crass, i know.

51% interesting 49% boring

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:25:44 GMT

it's easy to fall into a yuppie routine and become complacent. work, gym, drink, repeat.

so... i thought i would mix it up a bit!

1. guitar lessons!
2. surfing!! going to the OC in february, i bought my plane ticket and put in a deposit for lessons. i've started going to the gym to increase my upper body strength, improve on my swimming. they say that surfing is really 95% paddling yourself out to the waves and 5% actual surfing. if things go well, i may just start saving for some surf related investments and start a cool new hobby out on the east coast.

the thing about guitar and surfing is that they are two things that have been on the "want to do" list for years. wanting and doing shall no longer be on different lists!

I will no longer be a wanter!

Time to be a doer!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 12:34:35 GMT

so i find myself newly single and trying to fill up the time voids that were once held with the SO. guitar lessons, gym, hanging out with friends, playing with dog, work... i feel like i'm rebuilding myself, rounding myself out. this leads me to the thought that when i'm in relationships i am not the most interesting and exciting person- i start dropping my interests a bit, there's just not as much time to do stuff that i had done when on my own. that's kind of depressing. i guess the self-sacrificing element is necessary/fairly positive when you've got a family to raise and you need to place more focus outside of yourself, but it can't be that healthy for young people to do. if i ever get around to dating again, numero uno stays numero uno.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 07:51:04 GMT

this has probably been the longest hiatus i've ever taken from xanga. and it ends now!

i'm baaacck!

maybe this sounds a tad cliche, but i started to lose perspective on who i was when i didn't stop to analyze my thoughts and write them down. although, i have to say that if xanga were the only thing that gave any indication of my thought processes, i'd be in big trouble.

2008, may you prove to be as magical and wonderful as i aspire for you to be.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 14:55:49 GMT

i'm so stressed and confused on multiple levels and on many fronts. so far this month has been a doozy.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 17:52:17 GMT

it's been a good month thus far. confusing at times. i still feel like a kid, like i'm not a grown up. still going through the process. is that really "growing up" or just naturally learning and living life?

i feel like this year will make or break me. but then, i feel like i say that about every year. blargh.

delving into a song lyric

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 20:49:54 GMT

i wish i could better articulate how this year has felt. perhaps oasis said it best when they said that you were "slowly walking down the hall faster than a cannonball." i can't help but look around in wonder at how things have come to pass, but likewise life seems to be barrelling down some crazy track, where in an instant things change beyond recognition.

can't really come up with anything to say at the moment. just felt this compulsion to send up my smoke signals.