where you just feel incredibly stupid?  Things have come out of my mouth today where after I say it, I say to myself, 'What are you talking about?!  Just stop talking!'  For example, I said that igneous bedrock was at my site and then in the NEXT sentence, I said, 'It's made up of limestone and shale.'  (And yes, I have degrees in geology & hydrology, so this makes it infinitely more embarrassing.)

Working here has been very humbling.

I was in Richmond this past week for work and I was pleasantly surprised - it was the most interesting training I've had so far since joining the federal government.  It was self-awareness training and one of the prerequisites was to complete the Myers-Briggs personality test and a conflict management test prior to coming to class.   The results were presented to and discussed with the student during the training.  I was pretty skeptical about how accurate the Myers-Briggs was going to be but I couldn't believe how dead on it was.  It explained my personality better than I could ever say it.  When they gave us our reports, our homework that night was to go home and hi-lite in one color everything in the report that we agreed with and in another color, everything we disagreed with.  And with the things we disagreed with, to talk to a spouse, a best friend or a family member to see what they thought.  My agreement hi-lite color was pink and my disagreement hi-lite color was yellow and let me tell you - my whole report was pretty much hi-lited in pink.  I was so amazed.

I am an ISFJ - Introvert, Sensor, Feeler and Judger.  I scored most extreme on the Introvert scale - 24 out of 30 and on the Judger scale (17 out of 30).  I am borderline for the other 2 - my Sensing was a 6 and my Feeling was a 1 (both out of 30).  (Btw, the opposite of these are Extravert, Intuitive, Thinker, Perceiver)  Here are some of the hi-lites from the report:

You belong to the most practical and realistic of all the introverted personality types.  Hard working, thorough and responsible...people can lean on you with good cause:  your combination of introversion, sensing and judging forms a mighty foundation of stability and trust.  You can be counted on never to undertake any enterprise or relationship impulsively or frivolously...You are a permanent resident of the here-and-now...that tendency is extremely valuable in shaping a consistent and predictable personality - one that steadfastly avoids introducing any unnecessary change into the routine of a smoothly functioning system.  (Yes, I'm pretty boring)

(This I found funny, especially since it's completely true)  To be sure, no one would ever call you a visionary, and you wouldn't be happy with the title, anyway.  You're frankly distrustful of that world of the possible that intuitive types call home.

Yours is the outlook of the traditionalist:  an individual who believes in structure, responsibility and rules for living.  [Aka, Legalist]

You are happiest when living a simple, well-spelled-out life, both at home and at work.  You appreciate a predictable environment, and you are both patient and comfortable with routine...Given a choice, you'll spend your money on useful things:  major pieces which will see many years of service...You are unsettled by waste and conspicuous consumption.

(And this was the most interesting to me)  As a general trend throughout all parts of your life, you have a need to feel useful, important to other people.  Your sense of obligation and responsibility may well be a driving force, pushing you to take on more and more tasks for the benefit of others.  You use your actions to prove to others and to yourself that you are a worthy and capable human being.  The only problem is that you don't really believe it yourself.  You expect a great deal from yourself, and you are always judging your own behavior by tough standards.  You expect performance from others too, but not nearly so much as you demand from yourself.  When others don't achieve what you think they should, or when they don't even try, you are disappointed.

You are far more comfortable lending than borrowing, giving than receiving. 

Being independent...is of paramount importance to you.  But, ironically, being independent - as a free spirit, unfettered by responsibility - is virtually impossible for one with your personality characteristics.  You have a strong need to be counted on, to feel useful to others.  You are almost driven to accept obligation.  (I am a walking oxymoron)

Many with your personality structure have a hard time asserting their own personal needs.  In the process of taking on more and more responsibility, taking care of more and more people, you may get yourself into a situation in which you feel frankly overwhelmed by your obligations.  (How many times has my family stressed me out bc I felt like this?)

Your sensing judging legalist temperament is marked by a keen sense of duty and dedication, and as a feeling-type person, you'll likely relate this loyalty to other people...You are likely to react strongly to those who do not exhibit your kind of loyalty...you expect a lot from [friends, co-workers and family members]...when they don't respond in kind, without being asked, you get disappointed.  You may find that you respond to this situation with hurt and resentment.  As an introvert, you're most likely to show your feelings by silence or sulking.

(I laughed out loud at this part because I've thought this many times while at work)  You prefer a quiet working environment, and you enjoy working alone...It's natural for you to regard other people as a necessary evil for most work situations.

Suggested jobs for my personality type were the medical field, social sciences, teaching and to my surprise, being a CEO or CFO.

This is what I disagreed with:  In choosing a mate, that aspect of your personality (savior complex) may mean that you gravitate toward people who have problems or conspicuous weaknesses:  gambling, alcohol, drugs.  I think my judging-type overrules me on this tendency.

Anyways, I learned a lot about myself this week.  I also thought it was fitting that I took a spiritual gifts inventory at church the Sunday before I left for Richmond (my primary gift was Serving).  It's also funny how my Richmond class stressed that there was no wrong personality type and thru the sermon series at church, I am learning that God wired me to be a certain way and to celebrate that.  I am trying to take all this self-evaluation and make sense of it thru God's eyes. 

there's a high school intern in our division and i met with her a couple of months ago bc she had some questions about applying to bryn mawr and my experience there.  we were emailing today for some reason or other and she asked as a btw, when i graduated from bryn mawr.  this was her response: 

OMG.. you're older than I thought. I guessed 2002. =) It's okay you still look young.

but nothing tops what some uva undergrads said when they found out how old i was ON MY 26TH BIRTHDAY:  'omg, you're so old!  oh, sorry - we didn't mean it like that.'  something you DO NOT want to hear on your actual birthday - just an fyi, folks.