God doesn't care if I delete my emails.

I got this chain letter from my mom this afternoon and it really got me riled up.  It reminded me of so many other Christian to Christian "look at how holy I am for thinking something like this" chainletters/articles/books/radio shows/potluck table discussions...et al.  So here is another edition of...

JENNAS RELIGIOUS RANT OF THE DAY!
by J. Boettger

First, here is the origional letter inspiring said rage. 
"CELL PHONE vs. BIBLE
I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bibles like we treat our cell phone? What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets? What if we flipped through it several times a day? What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it? What if we used it to receive messages from the text? What if we treated it like we couldn’t live without it? What if we gave it to kids as gifts? What if we used it when we traveled? What if we used it in case of emergency? Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don’t have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill. Makes you stop and think "Where are my priorities?" And no dropped calls!
> > PS-DO WHAT YOU THINK GOD WOULD WANT YOU TO DO WITH THIS EMAIL?"

     Hmmm.  This email is an eye rolling experiance for several reasons.  First of all the Bible is not comparable to a cell phone on the simple basis of I need my cell phone to talk to people, I do not need my Bible to talk to God, which should be the basis for your relationship with him anyway.  If there was some special gadget that I needed to pray I bet alot of people WOULD treat it like they do their cell phone, going back for it when they forgot it and such.  The Bible is comparable to my other favorite books... NONE of which I drag along with me unless I plan on having time to read (in which case I usually do have my Bible in the stack). 
     And also, addressing the line at the end of the page, "> > PS-DO WHAT YOU THINK GOD WOULD WANT YOU TO DO WITH THIS EMAIL?", I’m pretty offended by anyone who tries to use God to guilt trip people into doing what they want them to. I’m putting whoever wrote in the same mental category I put most Southern Baptist preachers, and my cousin Lynette when she condescendingly says to my cousin Joe "Would Jesus have wanted you to tell that joke?"  And in addition, if I have to be the first person to say it I will, I DO NOT think God would in any way scowl on me deleating the email (there, it’s out in the open), infact I question if God would support chain letters to begin with, reguardless of how inspirational they may seem. 
     I think that for many people in contemporary American Christianity the Bible has become an idol and a false God, people rely soly on obscure scriptures to justify their actions and beliefs, picking and choosing what they want out of it because it’s so easy to do, but many times fail to listen to what God is trying to tell them or has shown.  I see a trend in our world for it to be acceptable to replace a relationship with God for a relationship with sermons and the Bible.  The Bible is ancient writing by humans, albiet beautiful, inspirational, many times divinely inspired, and moving writing (I wouldn’t have studied it for two years in college if I didn’t think so), it is still something that was written by inately fallable human kind. 
     Should we read the Bible more?  Yeah, I’m not arguing with that.  We would all be better people if we studied the Bible more, or probably we all just read more, period.  Are alot of people (myself included) overly dependent on their cell phone?  Of course.  But I found this email flawed in both thesis and conclusion, and slightly offensive.  If you ever get a chainletter with the thesis "What if we talked to God as much as we talked to people on our cell phones" or "What if we read sacred scripture as much as we read John Grisham and J.K. Rowling novels", I would be very interested to see what it says.  But until then, for the love of all that is good and holy... STOP SENDING ME THIS SHIT!

And.... I'm hot.

Ok, so I am totally not going to lie to you right now, but I am really drunk. My 21st birthday was last week and I have been living it up ever since.
Tonight I went to this bar that is right by our house (convienent because I can just walk home if I have one too many... or even remotely assume I might possibly have, since I am such a stickler on drunk driving) and made myself a decent amount of money off just being hot.
I started talking to these two guys... mid 30's... totally too old for me... but nice so I was talking to them and to make a long story short I didn't do anything, but just by being hot I made $140 off these guys ($100 in cash, $40 in drinks).
Moral of the story... I am totally proud of myself.

Greiving the loss of Spike

Today is a day of loss.  Spike, my miniture lop eared rabbit, has passed on.  In honor of Spike, also known as Little Bunny, I will now write her a eulogy. 

Spike was born in March of 2007, and at a very early age set up residency in the Pet World pet store in Newton, KS.  About a month later she was met by two frequent patrons of Pet World, David Boring and Jenna Boettger.  David called Jenna over to the terrarium full of small furry animals, and at that moment Jenna and Spikes eyes met and it was love at first sight.  Spike went to Jenna and Davids house to live in a cage with the guinea pig Ruffles.  Spike and Ruffles hit it off and were best friends dispite the fact that Spike was calm and sweet, and Ruffles had always been compleatly batshit crazy. 

Spike lived a happy life, she enjoyed watching movies with Jenna, but would not settle for sitting on her lap, but rather, she prefered to hop up on Jenna shoulder and curl up in her neck to enjoy the film.  She was a good rabbit, and learned how to use a litter box so that she could roam the house freely.  One of her favorite hobbies was getting a bath, mostly because afterwards she got to lay on Jennas lap for a good hour or so, while Jenna dried her off with a huge fluffy towel.  If she was lucky, Jenna would wrap her up in the towel afterwards like a little bunny taco and carry her around the house with her, which usually helped her go to sleep.  Her favorite foods were peach yogurt, and fresh strawberry and kiwis.  Spike was an exceptionally calm and sweet bunny, whenever they had to go to the vets office, the vet would always remark about how calm and wonderful she was for a little bunny. 

Spike spent the last few months of her life in Phoenix, AZ, with David and Jenna.  David had just built her a custom three story cage that she loved.  On Halloween night, 2007, Spike lost her brave fight with a bone infection in her jaw.  She is survived by David, Jenna, and her friends Daisy the dog and Ruffles the guinea pig.  

I just got a letter from an old friend of mine.  We have always had substancially differing opinions on... well... everything.  But we're friends because, you know, you have to have that one friend at the compleat opposite end of the reality spectrum just to keep you up to date on what the dark side is up to.  Really though, she's a sweet girl, just... well wrong about alot of things.

I hessitate to say that people are "wrong".  I have a general tendency to believe in the unending greyness about the world, black and white only exists in movies, so I don't like to say people are compleatly wrong or compleatly right, but I'm going to do it here.

So I get this letter from her talking about alot of things, but one of those things is how the fires eating up peoples homes in southern California, they're not really just fires as alot of people think, but really the divine wrath of God smiting California and all it's evil doers.  I will take this oportunity to quote from the letter.  "New Orleans had it's time, and now the Lord is turning to evil places like Los Angelas, and San Diego."  ......................................................... (this is me taking a mamoth, not just mamoth, nine months pregnant mamoth sized pause to wonder what the hell to even say reguarding that.) 

Are people serious?  I'm not going to scoff at the notion that God may at some point shower down his wrath, to be totally honest the world probably desurves it, but to start pointing to things like fires and hurricanes as such, is such a copout I don't even know where to begin.  Fires in hot dry places and hurricanes next to the Gulf of Mexico... please, as soon as people start turning into pillars on salt across the country side I'll start buying your Soddom and Gomorrah stories.  If you're going to tell me God is pouring down wrath from the heavens, part of that story better include every first born in the land dying in the night, arch angels with flaming swords chopping people to the ground in the streets while they shit out a plague of locust, and mighty voice coming from the clouds calling "REPENT!"  But until you can come up with a better example then "one time a fire started in a hot dry place", I don't want to hear it.  How many fires have happened in southern California in our lifetimes anyway?  Scads of them every summer, correct?  Do you really think that the Lord Almighty would have to try year after year after year to reign down his death and destruction?  I personally have a little more faith in the big guy then that. 

P.S. New Orleans is built in a delta.  Bad location planning caused Katrina, not a vengeful diety.