| i'm about to describe a rather strange, but gross problem i'm having, so beware. it seems that when i was in louisiana this past weekend, i managed to get poison ivy IN my belly button. of all the bizarre itchy ailments i've had in my life (and believe me, i get weird ones), this is probably one of the most wonderous. here's my tale of woe...
i became suspicious on monday night when my stomach kept itching. i was scratching at it all night, but couldn't find anything that would suggest a skin irritation. the next day, it continued to itch and i still had no clue why. i offhandedly complained about it to rennan, who promptly suggested that perhaps it was something inside my belly button. well i took a peek inside and lo and behold, i found a bump! naturally i assumed it was a mosquito bite since i had 6 other ones on my legs. i briefly wondered how a mosquito found it's way into my belly button, but reminded myself that nothing on my body is off limits when it comes to those stupid things.
it's likely that i absently scratched at it throughout the day, because at some point i realized the skin was kinda tender and hurt a bit when touched. dinner rolls around, and serena and eehern came over to eat. a complaint regarding the itchy-ness slips out, and to prove the existence of the bite, i bared my belly button for everyone to see. to the disgust of all, it's slightly crusted with blood. bewildered, i went to the sink to clean it off and to take a closer examination, at which point i discovered that it was oozing some yellowish gunk, mixed in with a bit of blood. gross. the next morning, it was still oozing. so i tossed my mosquito bite theory out the window, and after a quick search on WebMD, replaced it with my current poison ivy theory.
the cool thing about having poison ivy in my belly button is that it's a convenient location for all the ooze to well up in. i just have to dab a tissue in there every 45 minutes or so to sop it up. i also came up with the brilliant idea of sticking a tiny piece of tissue in there and covering it up with a band-aid. this works particularily well for those longer stretches of time (sleeping, for example) when i'm not able to clean it as often. for some reason, it's rather comical to see my stomach with a band-aid covering the belly button, and so i'd highly recommend that you all try it out for yourself. it's pure hilarity for sure!
janet has been bitten by a mosquito in the following place:
a) Eyelid
b) Upper lip
c) Lower lip
d) Bottom of the foot
e) All of the above
the correct answer, of course, is e. |
