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jmaddux192005
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Name: Jeremy
Country: United States
State: Kansas
Metro: Olathe
Birthday: 8/17/1985
Gender: Male
Interests: Cartoons, Computer Games, Cooking, Meditation, Music (both choral and instrumental), theatre, talking with friends.
Expertise: I really can't say.
Occupation: Research and development
Industry: Construction
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/29/2005
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| Hello. My name is Jeremy, and I'm a former cutter. If you spend ten minutes with my mother, you'll understand why. Come to see me, and I'll show you my arms. My therapist is working on getting me out of here. | | |
| I'm just aggravated. One week ago, Mom was telling me how she thought about what she should do with her life. She realized that she needed to stop drinking and start working. Funny, because I actually believed her. She's been at a bar since 10 A.M.. I talked to her a few minutes ago, and she's shit-faced. I can't believed she broke her promise to me. She promised that life was going to be a lot more peaceful. She's the reason we've been poor. She drinks up her unemployment, and then bitches about how I don't have a job. I'm actually debating on whether I'll go home tonight, or just spend the weekend here at JCCC. I'd rather be on a couch at school, then be in my own home. I just don't know what to do. Here's one thing for certain. If she EVER touches me again, there's going to be a lot of drama. She thinks I can be a prick, just one more shove, and she'll see just how nasty I'm capable of being. As far as I'm concerned, she dead to me. She is not my mother. My mother would have never put me through so much anguish. There's no way that I'll forgive her this time. What I need is to get out of that house. Here's the problem: I have nowhere to go. Spring Break is going to suck, I already know it. I need money and some friends to take me with them on their trip. I will NOT stay here. | | |
| I have a two hour trip ahead of me. I have a performance at Northwest Missouri State tonight.
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| Last Sunday, Mom got drunk and hit me. I slapped her, and I ended up spending one day in the new Johnson County Adult Detention Center i-------n GARDNER!. Gardner is a dreadful place to put a detention center, and the staff are all bitches and bastards. Food sucks, and they violate all of our rights. One inmate lipped off to an officer, and went to bed with a broken nose and a black eye (it wasn't me). Johnson County fucking sucks! Better find a job to pay for piss tests and probation fees. I hope their karma comes back to bite them in the ass. I'm no longer a music ed major. No district will want to hire someone with a battery charge. I dropped Theory, yeah it's like, fuck it. Dr. Teal was, of course, cool about it all. I hate my mom right now. She owes me big time! She's going to keep drinking, and making my life hell. She actually told me that she hated me. I've let her bullshit slide many, MANY times, but this time, I do NOT forgive her. I feel like crying (actually have been since Monday's Arraigment), because I try my damnest to be calm and rational, and she makes it a goal to keep peeling off the scab on my heart. She loves getting a rise out of me by getting drunk, and treating me like shit. I used to love her, but now I don't know how I should feel about her. I'm actually afraid to go home, in fear that one day, she'll sneak into my room when I'm asleep, to kill me. She claims that I bad-mouth her to her family. Her friend Kayla backs her up 100 percent. I'm dog-meat to them. That's probably what they'll do to my body. They'll cut me up, and feed me to the dog. Kayla knows that my mom's a bitch, but she's in denial. It's ALL ME!! So, you know what? Fuck them! I will NOT be dictated to by an old lush! I hate her, and her stupid dog! They can all go to hell, for all I care. I'm done with it all! So, if I'm found dead, it's my mom's fault. | | |
| I hate Valentine's Day. I always end up breaking my teeth on those chalk-flavored candy-hearts, and physically and emotionally ill. Last Tuesday almost finished me off. First it's 30, then it's 50, then it's 58, and then, when I decide to wear khaki shorts and sandals, it drops down to 25. If it's not at least 50 next Monday, I'll never watch FOX4 News again. Don Harmon has dashed my hopes way too many times to count. I lost my voice after giving a pint of blood last Wednesday, and fell seriously ill Thursday. And guess what.....
I'M STILL SICK!!!!!!!
Each exclamation mark represents how many days I have been indisposed. The kittens aren't helping, either. I'm giving it one more week. If I haven't found a home for them by then, I'll have to pay to have them taken to Animal Haven Adoption and Sheltering. I'll make out a flyer today. | | |
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