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joat235
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Name: Steven
Country: United States
State: New York
Birthday: 3/25/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: Reading, chess, sports, TV, interntet, music, food, talking, shopping, etc.....
Expertise:
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/20/2002
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| To do the right thing.I am not a saint. I don't even think I am a particularly good human being. I've just been really well trained in doing the right thing whether I believe it or not. Well, I've been told to believe it and do it. But I don't always believe it. I want to believe in what I am doing, especially when its the right thing. But sometimes I don't, and I don't think I am a very good human being for it.
My inner demon always wants to be indulged. Always wants to push the envelope a little further. It's always been gaining ground of all save the most sacred areas. Its sounds so contrite, like almost Lord of the Ring like. Evil can never be exterminated. The good guys wins by restoring the balance. Does that mean at best the good guys are at 50%, and at worse they have to fight off evil while being at a disadvantage?
Does that mean I'll lose control one day? Can you forgive me for being this way?
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| Conflicting FeelingsThe past few days, I've been having a series of very strange feelings.
As some of your may know, I went to the Poconos with a bunch of NYU stuy friends and I met this girl who's a friend of friend. It was the first time I had met her, but we just kinda clicked. At first, we just bonded over common friends (more like gossipping about common friends). But as we got to talking more, we just started talking about everything. And I find myself really attracted to her, it was intensely hormonal.
After the trip, we just started iming and talking online A LOT. In the week between when we got back from the Poconos and when school started, we talked every night for hours, and we even went out once (that was fun) b4 she had to go back to school. After that, I just felt we got even closer and we could just talk about anything and everything. life, love, sex, anime, family, you name it. And we just find that we have so much in common. I found myself really really liking her, not just a hormonal attraction, but i just liked her personality and character a lot.
So school started and we still talked very frequently. Partly because I don't have that many classes and she's online a lot. When she came back one weekend, we hung out briefly (cuz she had strict parents) and still enjoyed eachother's company a lot. Fast forward to now, I mean just last week we had this ridiculously long 6 hours conversation (thank god i dun have monday classes).
So you are wondering what's the problem? Well, I am not sure where this is going, that's the problem. Honestly, if she goes to school in the city, I really would've asked her out already. But she doesn't, and being where I am at in life right now, I can't see myself starting a long distance relationship. Also, realistically, we dunno each other that well yet despite how much we talk. I mean after all you really need to spend time with a person to get to know them. I guess the best thing to do is hang out with her as much as possible and just wait. I am crossing my finger that this works out....some how. Feel free to leave any advice, cuz if you know me, (and those of you who can read this entry probably knows me well), my knowledge/skills in this area is at High School level at best. Thanks!
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| JoBs JObs jOBsSince the first day of class 9/4, there has been non stop Job alerts and resume drop deadline for the biggest firms in the financial services industry. Goldman Sachs, HSBC, Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch, Citigroup....etc. Every day there's like a shit load of companies on campus to present all hours of the day, and these are BIG firms. Then at the same time, every day that I am not applying to Jobs, about 20 jobs in big firms become unavailable to us cuz of the deadline. If anyone out there is looking for a job in financial services, I know you share my pain....
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| So yeah....School's startingBut who the hell wants to talk about that? So yeah, recently I met this girl who I am really interested in now. She's cute, smart, funny, quirky in a sincere way and just so kewl to talk to. Whats the problem you say? Well, she goes 2 school outta state. Life sure likes to throw curves balls, guess I'll see where it takes me this time.
Its easy to say I believe in fate and if its meant to be, it'll be....But as we all know, its never that easy, especially when its something/someone that matter.
So yeah, school is starting 2morro, jobs, school work, all that jazz. I am going to get some sleep.
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| For all my fellow Nice Asian Guys out there男人本不壞，不是嗎？
十歲以前，
他什麼都不懂，就不說了...
十三、四歲的時候，
開始對女孩有好感，但是那時候他離女孩遠遠的，並且以討厭女孩自居，生怕被同伴嘲笑。
十五歲的時候，聽到大人們說某某男人好花，把女朋友甩了，女孩自殺了。
他覺得這人真狠毒，自己將來一定要做個癡情的男人，一定要一生只愛一個人。
十六歲的時候，他喜歡上了一個女孩，但是他不敢和她說。
仍然和往常一樣，臟兮兮的在灰土飛揚的操場上踢球。
只在女孩走出校門的時候，躲在二層的窗戶上看她的背影，他覺得她一定是個天使。
十七歲的時候，有個女孩喜歡上了他，但是他離她很遠，心裏面只有自己那個女孩，他覺得看別的女孩都是對她的不忠。
十八歲的時候，看了一個MTV，感動得想哭；
他想，如果自己的女孩失去了雙眼，他一定會像男主角會毫不猶豫的把自己的眼睛給她，讓她能看到光明。
十九歲的時候，高考了。
終於和自己暗戀的女孩分別，坐火車去學校的時候，感覺自己離她越來越遠，心像被掏空了一樣。
還在想自己一定不會忘記她，等到自己成功以嶀@定要去找她。
二十歲的時候，聽到有人講黃色笑話，覺得這人真可恥。
二十一歲的時候，她的回信中告訴他，自己有了男朋友。
他為此偷偷的哭了一個晚上。
二十二歲的時候，他向一個女孩表白，女孩說：「你是個好人，可是我還小。」他想，我的確是個好人，然後他說：「沒關係，我可以等妳。」
心想，我不會像那些花心的人一樣，三年五年我也能等。
二十三歲的時候，聽說自己還小的女孩跟一個帥哥戀愛了。
他很納悶，長大原來可以這樣快。
二十四歲的時候，
他又向一個女孩表白，女孩說：「你是個好人，可是我並不適合你。」
他納悶很久，我是好人，妳怎麼還不適合我呢？
二十五歲的時候，他又追求一個女孩，女孩接受了他。他開始很幸福的為未來拼搏，他想，一時的開心只是暫時的，只有努力拼搏，他和她才能有快樂的未來，但是，半年以後，女孩和他分手了，只是因為另外一個男孩會說讓她開心的話。
女孩說：「你是個好人，是我對不起你。」
至此，他似乎明白了問題所在－－他是個好人！
二十六歲的時候，他開始墮落。打扮得時尚而酷，而且漸漸的學習著討好女孩的話。
不久，他有了個女朋友，雖然他對她也很好，可是，他心裏知道，自己並不愛。
二十七歲的時候，
他和女孩分手了。
他對女孩說：「妳是個好女孩，是我對不起妳。」
二十八歲的時候，他嘗試了一夜情，發現別人能做的，自己也一樣。
二十九歲的時候，他學會了講黃色笑話，並且以看旁邊的女孩子臉紅為樂趣。
三十歲的時候，他忽然發現自己變得很有能力追求到女孩，但是卻沒有了愛的能力。
其實每個男孩，本來都是想做一個感情專一的好男人的。
其實每個男人，本來看女孩子都是看臉而不是身材。
其實每個男人，本來都是不會講黃色笑話的。
其實每個男孩，本來都是渴望愛一個人直到永遠的。
只是，沒有任何女孩愛這樣的男孩，她們覺得這樣的男孩太幼稚，太古板，沒有情趣。
於是男孩開始改變，變成女孩喜歡的那種
嘴角掛著壞壞。
開始學會說甜言蜜語而不是心裏想說的話。
開始學會假裝關心，學會給女孩送小飾物討好她，學會如何追求，如何把握愛情。
或者看破紅塵，遊戲情場，成為女人恨恨的那種男人。
他們可以很容易俘獲女孩子的心，但是他們也會在黑的夜裏叼著煙流淚。
心裏有愛的時候，沒有女孩；有了女孩，卻永遠沒有了愛的感覺！ | | |
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