hmm...nonsensical few days...of watching more drama...dang...i think i'm getting hooked into this...which is a problem...since i could really be using all those hours...for something much more productive...like cleaning up the place...or trying to myself to sit back down and study some hanja or something...

but anyway...watching more dramas...and alongside the last odd rant that i had...which i think i was just plain tired...and was ranting at random...or perhaps a bit random...with some minimal thought...like most of my other postings...

but anyway...watching these dramas...has already sucked a lot of the air out of the thought of ever being in love...or ever being able to be that special someone for someone else...but...there was something that i noticed...and i know i ranted about this sometime ago...there...is perhaps something else that could give me hope...of not growing old and dying alone...

what is that?  well...it seems...that in many of these korean dramas...there's always some sort of complicated love story...guy A and girl B fall in love with each other...but something comes along...and they can't be together...whether it be because they're brother and sister...or because they thought the other was dead...or something else...so...guy A and girl B separate for some time...but then somewhere later down the line...girl B meets guy C...and guy C is in "love" with girl B.  somehow girl B finds guy A...and her feelings of the past love come back...so...now...there's a funky love triangle with guy A, girl B, and guy C.  Now...naturally...past love...is always skewed as some sort of true love..."fated love"...a love that is suppose to have all these endless attachments...that no matter how many people try to get in the way...or how many times someone tries to cut the bonds...another strong bond will takes it place...strenghtening their "fated love."

hmm...this idea of "fated love"...i don't see happening in my lifetime...but it's the wishful thinking...the romantic thought...that so many people want...*shrug*...but that's perhaps...where my last rant...about losing hope in love was about...

now in this drama...there is the other love...the "love" of guy C to girl B.  it's not one of fate.  hmm...somewhere along these dramas...the triangle gets so complicated...and emotionally unbearable for the people involved...so...ultimately...guy C feels that he can no longer sever the bond between girl B and guy A...so...his comments on love are always "i don't care that you love someone else...as long as you are by my side...i will be fine"...hmm...this is the other love...which i'm interpreting as "selfish love."

hmm...now...as sad is this may sound...i think this selfish love is much more likely to be the situation i will be in someday...should i ever get married.  scary...don't tell whomever my future wife will be...lol...should that ever happen...but then...i think i've ranted on this before too...and i kinda know...that it's somewhat the way i am...but...perhaps i'll think about it some more...and try to change it...but...anyway...as of currently...and based on the past...i think i've been involved with too much of this selfish love.  "i don't care that you love someone else...as long as you are by my side...i will be fine..."...hmm...this unfortunately...due to my lack of romantic gestures...buying flowers...buying jewelry...buying tickets...traveling abroad...etc, etc, etc...which is somewhat...somehow expected in many relationships...i think...i've been more...of that guy..."that's just there"...hmm...confusing to explain...but...it kinda falls in line with this selfish side of somethings.  Rather than being the guy that is going all over the place, spending all over the place...i'm the guy...that is just laid back...and takes everything...the good...the bad...the ugly...because...for whatever reason...most things didn't bother me...hmm...so...rather than being the guy with all the romantic gestures...i was the guy that had a smile on his face...because he was in a relationship...with a girl...that even though i didn't know how she completely felt...i was fine...and happy...just because she was by my side...

this...is...perhaps my only hope...lol...because...there are some people that you meet...that when they are near...in one way or another...it brings about a smile on your face...makes you feel better...comforts you...yet at the same time...it's not something that you appear to bend over backwards to work out...*shrug*

actually...after thinking about this some more...this doesn't seem to make much sense...but nonetheless...ultimately...my brain...of some sorts...has given me hope...that perhaps...something...will someday...possibly work out...and i shouldn't just succumb to despair...

lol...

...hmm...this must've been a very boring week...i think it's record i've had...for finishing a series...lol...just finished, i'm sorry, i love you...oy...only took me 4 days...*shrug*...

hmm...so far...of all the korean dramas that i've been watching recently...i think the girl in this series...is the most ideal...of the type of girl that i like...lol...the girl from all in...comes in a close second...but...the girl's character...has a certain charm...though...so many glimpses...unfortunately reminded me of japan...

hmm...these dramas...really do continue to try to melt a person's heart...lol...oddly...it gives me that pseudo feeling...like love actually exists...lol...oy...it's putting my head in the clouds...what the!?!?!

hmm...a quirk...but...what is up with girls like guys that pick on them?  give them names...and tease them...are those styles of flirting...still ok?  hmm...lol...wow...old school memories...lol...

but anyway...need to find the next series to watch...money's warfare, lovers in prague, soulmate, 9 end 2 outs...i think those were the recommended so far...and oddly...i never saw the infamous 가을동화...so...perhaps i'll try that next...*shrug*...

...oy...i think i rewatched this drama...in less than one weeks time...through mysoju...lol...

such a great series...such a heartwrencher...one of those definite tear jerkers...

why did i re-watch it?  it was recommended down the list...next seems to be to move on to sorry that i love you...or something of that sort...

hmm...all in was probably the first drama i started watching...way back...when i bought all those discs in china...lol...why did i start with all in.  hmm...oh, yeah...it was because our buddy eric...lol...though...i do have to figure out what he's up to again...last i heard...he's still drinking...still in apgu...probably living at the same apartment that i slept over last time i went on my business trip to korea...but apparently...he's been meeting up with some of the japanese exchange students...from back in the days of ewha...even...the ones that were part of my...ex's group...since some are sticking around korea...teaching english...here and there...go figure...

but why eric...lol...because of him...it was the first time that i've ever seen a celebrity in close proximity...like...literally in front of me...within a yards distance...lol...it's definitely going to be one of those memories that aren't going to go away...the drinking constest...soju vs beer...lol...the pride of the koreans...vs the pride of the germans...much too funny...but amusingly...eric won...lol...well...it would've been a draw if it lasted a little longer...but really...it isn't really fair to go bottle vs bottle of beer vs soju...hmm...but nonetheless...our dear chum eric won...and 10 minutes later...myself a few of others...had to carry his body down 5 or so floors...since the building had no elevator...and take him back...lol...though...given the stupid ewha curfew system...we weren't able to get back into the dorm the normal way...at 1am...since curfew was at 11pm...lol...well the rest of us had our acrobatic skills...or was that just me???...hmm...but we definitely didn't know how to sneak in a drunk body...hmm...and naturally...the hyung of the group was retelling his tales of being so drunk...that he had to get his stomach pumped...and our poor eric was going through the same symptoms...of alcohol poisoning.  hmm...amusingly...somehow...i had some popularity back then...lol...and...hmm...one of the girls...a native korean girl...that was living at the yonsei dormitories...(hmm...)...but anyway...she had a car...so...after some cajoling...but yours truly...we were able to get his drunken body in to the car...and drive out to the yonsei baek byu-won...lol...

definitely...the first true experience...of seeing...how fame and popularity...and $$$...could influence the system.  the freakin' nurses and the doctors kicked us out...didn't want to admit our drunken friend...though it probably didn't help that the hyung of the group was cursing and swearing at the doctors in english for not admitting someone who was visibly messed up...

so...naturally...we had no choice...we went through his cell phone...and called up his mother...lol...lo and behold...she came out in a cab...about 30 minutes later...and she came with her sister...since the two of them were up...chatting and drinking some tea or something or another.  i...being as ignorant as i am about the pop culture world...just treated the adults like any other adults...but the poor, poor girl...that i had cajoled earlier...who was somehow or another clinging to me...let out one of those high pitched squeals...that people seem to get...when they see their favorite fan...lol.  the poor girl even got a chance to wear my eric's aunt's fur coat...because it was naturally cold at 2am...outside of the yonsei bak byu-won emergency entrance...hmm... but...it was only 10 minutes later...after i got the girl to calm down...that i was told the name of eric's mother's aunt...박원숙...

so...lo and behold...since people were recommending so many dramas to watch...i naturally chose the one that i would recognize one of the actors/actresses...so...it all began with all in.  apparently...she's in full house too...the series that i saw before all in.  lol...hmm...it does seem...that as i transition from one drama to another...at least one of the actors/actresses from the previous show...is some sort of character in the next...the korean drama world must be so small...

hmm...so amusing...sadly...i should've taken some pictures eric's aunt...rather than taking ALL those blackmail pictures that i did...of poor eric in a drunken stupor...or more of a drunken deadman's position...lol...which...all us guys at ewha...definitely had such good laughs about...even to this day...over 7 years ago...lol...hilarious...freakin' hilarious...but still...the korean drinking pride was honored...lol...