my new bLOG address.. check it out ok.. :)

http://brattydramaqueen.blogspot.com

if its not working well i guess it wont.. i just cant understand that whole html shit,, but nway.. ill be back soon.. been doing so much with school ryt now.. all these research and stuff.. but ill keep in touch :)

my nEw piCs

hope you like it..

grabe its been so long since ive made an entry but well ill keep you posted as soon as i have the time to do so.. right now i just want to share my new pics from bubabe's cam.. :)

AYOS BA??? hehehehe

2:00pm

training room 5

40th flr. pbcom tower

sometimes i get dizzy thinking about my dilemmas in life..

-you love and you lose..

-you get hurt...

-you morun for a moment.. then you get over it...

-then you fall in love again..

-the process repeats until you get tired of falling in love and losing again..

-you get to the point where you promise yourself never to fall in love again..

-you give yourself an lift-upper pat on the back.. and tell yourself that you can do it.. hurdle through life aloine and face all the trials that come your way..

AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!! life is too bitter to bear...

- at times you feel and wish that love should not have been made... discovered... invented.. or whatever you call it..

- at times if eel like crying but then i give it a thought and tell myself its useless to do so.. sometimes i fell that no one loves me.. that im very unlikeable (talk about insecurities!!!) but i give it a thought again.. my mom loves me.. so does my sister (in spite of all the fights.. which is another story!).. and so does my friends.. but why am i lonely? why do i feel alone?

-ok i admit it... i feel loved but i the feeling of belonging to someone is what i truly miss.. the feeling of being in a relationship... haaaaayyy!!

-the feeling of having your hand held by someone who loves you more than a friend.. the feeling of being hugged with longing and care.. the feeling of being kissed by someone who sees you in a romantical way.... the feeling of looking into someone's eyes, seeing them shine & knowing that the reason behind it is you..

- i miss the feeling of having butterflies in my stomach.. twinkle in my eyes.. clouds on my feet & goosebumps on my body... but i know too well that with great bliss comes great pain too..

-heartbreak when you get deceived and lied too.. falling tears everytime you he kisses someone else than you.. a pinched heart you get whenever he utters the words "iLOVEyou" and you know its not meant for you... aaarggghh!! love is such a pain in the ass.. but why do i keep falling for it??

-we are not hopeless romantics... or are we??? perhaps i should say.. am i?

-i am getting dizzy.. my mind is boggled and stressed out at the same time just by thinking about the mixture of emotions i am feeling right now..

-i want to fall in love but my mind says hold back..

-afraid to fall and not having someone to catch me.. afarid to invest feelings and get hurt by finding out that the investment you made was only as good as a stale check..

THE LOVE THAT LASTS LONGER IS THE LOVE THATS NEVER RETURNED!

27 IS NOW JUST A DATE ON MY CALENDAR.. IM LEAVING YOUR MEMORIES BEHIND.. THESE ARE THE THINGS IM LEAVING BEHIND FOR GOOD! ((oohh i hope so))

 im turning 22 in a few hours and i need to leave behind a few pieces of me and my heart to make my 22nd year a successful one.. these are the unfinished businesses that i still keep in my heart.. things that i havent learned to live without. skeletons in my closet and excess baggage..
in my last few years i have learned how to love.. get hurt.. hope and let go.. and hope again.. i may say i am over him but i still cant let go of the things that has happened between us.. i just saw his picture and it hurts me so.. i thought i was ok for quite a moment but seeing him again (which never fails actually) made me feel the same feelings i felt then..  actually more intense.. the hoping feeling still lingers but i know things like that arent meant to last and so are we.. one of my wishes for my birthday is for god to teach me to forget my feelings for him.. not the memories though coz i would rather keep it in my heart for moments of reminiscing.. i wish him a happy life.. (sa tingin ko happy siya!) i wish for her girl to love him thrice the intensity of my feelings for him.. i wish for her girl to understand his ways.. love his imperfections and show him the ways to being a happy man.. and i wish for him to at least let me know he loved me too in spite of it all.. i go crazy everytime i think of him.. i still feel the power of his stare and the way he puts a smile on my face.. this i know for sure.. i would never love a man the way i loved him.. i hope he can read this because i would love for him to do so.. i would love for him to know that he will remain special to me eventhough im finally saying GOODBYE! and for the nth time im now letting go of a piece of my heart.. and i hope my 22nd year would finally be meaningful enough for me to finally drink in the fact that we are not meant for each other.. i hope i get sober.. i may have neglected to express how i feel and say it the way you wanna hear it so hear goes the last straw.. I LOVE YOU! (you know who you are!) 27 is now just a date in my calendar..

for the nth time im playing this song ((you make me wanna by usher)) for you.. this used to be my song for you and ill try my best to let this song go too.. from now on usher's you make me wanna is just another tune for me..