| M0VING 0N... [click//new site] |
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| I thought I was gunna be happy...
If I can go back AT LEAST to September, I wouldn't make the same mistake. I'm so fricken confused...I fell down to the floor not knowing what I was doing...I'm so angry at myself for not being able to do anything about it. Now I'm starting to doubt...Why did I do this...? I don't regret it, kinda...but I'm not...happy... at least today, and yesterday, and the day before...This is so retarded. I just wanna...forget about everything and start over...go back in time...sighs* |
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| My problem: PARANOIA.
Ughh...I'm so paranoid it's not even funny. I get worried over the stupidest things =/ I'm sucha dumb whore :p Well anyways, my week's going pretty slow...However, today was last day of hakwon...although we have hakwon on saturday -o-;; So yea, it was all good :] I mean...I have to go tomorrow since I started talking again ;] But watever...s'all good mannn :] I should be doing my hw. What am I doing?!? Ughhh...AP BIO TEST tomorrow! I'm so gunna study tonight!  |
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| BOO!! DIDN'T MY PROFILE PICTURE SCARE YOU? :]
SIGHS* ... ... ... ... ... =/
So...Christmas is around the corner and my wallet seems so lonely -o-;; I have to start saving up money seriously, but I can't jungshincharyuh hehe :] This time of the year is just so busy... and everyone just seems to start getting parsimonious with each other (with a few exceptions of the really generous people ^o^). Well school's been an ass since there's so many inconsiderate teachers who give perpetuating work. School work and hakwon work have been an inexplicably huge burden on me. 0_0 But yea...s'all good now and I'm able to manage my time...Sort of. There's so many things on my mind right now that I can't explain in words. If I were to explain them, I'd probably start to tear again. So I prefer not to speak =x I'm such an idiot. I can't tell the difference between TRUE and FALSE. Until someone knocks my head really hard and gives me a big pain to tell me what's true and what's not, I only know so much -_-;; Yea, I think it takes me a lot of pain to realize things...I should start being smart. I've been SO SELFISH, and I still am. I need a life lesson =/ Must learn how to differentiate between real and feign, to snap out of my imagination, to control my feelings & overwhelming tears, TO shut up...Yea that. I have to stop talking so much and trusting like everyone. Look what this gullibility has turned me into: such a corrupted little bitch (excuse my language).
These were pretty random things that's been on my mind. I'm not sure if I explained them well enough. I'm not articulate enough to explain what's exactly on my mind...because I'm not even sure myself of what's going on. Whatever it is...I'm trying to overcome those obstacles so I can be a stronger person. I am way too vulnerable right now. If anyone were to touch me (not physically but more like mentally)...I'd start crying. It's my moodswings working against me again.
[edit] Please don't ask me if I'm okay. I know I'm not okay...but I'll get better. You guys just CHEER ME UP by entertaining me hehe ;]
[EDIT2] OMFG I FUCKING HATE MYSELF. (excuse my language again) |
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