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Tuesday, July 01, 2008

  • Life is good. :)

    This is so strange to say. I never imagined that I'd ever hear these words coming from myself-

    I think I've recovered.

    These long years stuck in a hell I only knew as "achieving perfection" was not worth it. I'm so glad to have been pulled through by my friends and loves. Thank you all for supporting me even though I wasn't always the most nicest or pleasant. I always tried, though. I tried for you<3
    I'm going to be writing my story with Lizzi on xanga.com/beautiful_fragility.
    I also wish her the best of luck<3

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Sunday, June 01, 2008

  • I'm hoping to relapse once more.

    I'm not doing the number-titley anymore. Not until I run out of ideas for titles, anyway.

    Recently I had realized that TeenHelp was more trouble to me than a help. My anorexia was so much more serious and worse than it was before. My emotions went out of control and I actually thought that this could be the end of me. It sucked a whole lot and the advice that people had given me on the forums didn't really help. I just wanted to believe that it did.

    The forums are ultratriggering, even though it shouldn't be. It makes me want to be lovely and thin again cos it truly made me happy. I don't like eating a whole freaking lot and gaining tons of weight. I'd rather hurt and be pained while maintaining that state of being I can achieve by being thin and starving. I want it so fucking bad, but the thing is, I feel so numb and uncaring about everything. Even this. I need to find myself.

    In the next few days I'm going to make myself care.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

  • 43- Specially dedicated to Sheri & Moira [RIP]

    I wrote this narrative poem for English, using a specific rhyme scheme. Comments and stuff would be nice. :)

    Broken Sakura

    Sheri resided in Dundee Loan, Forfar
    Living a beautiful life haunted by her desires
    Her only motivation was the wish to help others
    It’s for love she never tires

    Her mother, Moira, and her father, Leigh
    Loved their daughter as parents do
    Sheri hid her sufferings in her darkest moments
    Although they felt her pain too

    One fateful night near the twenty-third of July
    She and her mum had a row
    “Farewell,” she wrote in the ten-page note
    And took all the pills in one go

    Her corpse lay still on the white-tiled floor
    The funeral took place in a week
    Moira was stricken with guilt and grief
    Never returned home, for her did they seek

    Her body was found at Balmashanner Hill
    Buried next to where Sheri lay
    Pained with inconsolable grief of the two losses
    In the past Leigh’s heart cannot stay

    The mother and daughter pair leave a lesson behind
    There are many tragedies to be faced in life
    Suicide is never the answer or the only way out
    For the ones you hold dear can help you through the strife

    ~Sylvie<3

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

  • 42

    John's parents a superstrict, and they won't allow him to see me until he gets a 95+ average.
    Eh, whatever.

    Where do we go from here now, though?

    Does he really want me to pretend like I don't have interest in him, only as a friend?
    Lovely.

journalofsparkles

  • Visit journalofsparkles's Xanga Site
    • Name: Sylvie
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 11/12/2007

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