jsamuel14's Xanga

workin gal

Thu, 22 Mar 2007 23:18:22 GMT

life is pretty good right now, I dont know. My life has always been a balance of things...when one thing's good, the other is bad. Oh well, but I am LOVING CLINICS!!!!! sooooooooooooooooooooo much better than sitting in stupid clinics. I love going to work and feeling useful, I guess it's always a lil hard in the beginning of each rotation , but once you get the hang of seeing your own patients and really focusing on each patient and going through in your mind all you know....it's a cool feeling. But whats better is that no matter how wrong you are, it doesnt matter!!! the fact that you're a med student gets you out of soooo much! i love being a med student....being the doctor is gonna be hard.

so I find it funny how in a room of professionals, when one's pager goes off, everybody looks at theirs, EXCEPT for the person who's actually getting the page!!!...and me, cuz I've never gotten paged so i just keep mine at home and then if another person gets paged later, they wont look at it, even though earlier they had checked when it WASNT their page. weirdos.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 02:54:51 GMT

so I was thinking, once American Idol has it's 50th season, they should have the winners all come back and compete against each other ....but then again I guess their post-show success is a revelation of who really is the best. I dont know.

So I have cut down my tv watching to once a week. !!!!! for those of you who know me...I mean REALLY know me.....understands what a big deal this is. this is what medical school does to you

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 17:07:21 GMT

ok so obviously I have not been to xanga in a while...what is this Footprints thing???

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 16:57:07 GMT

Hello Xanga world!!!

I've been meaning to write in this thing for a while....a long while. No I really think I'm gonna start using this thing more often. There's just been a lot on my mind...and I'm not really good at getting my feelings out...so I guess this is one way. and is it just me or has facebook gotten boring? yah. it's me. i mean, I cant even stalk correctly, I'm too lazy to do it! I like how xanga delivers me the posts right to my email, I mean it just doesnt get easier than that.

So 1.5 years of med school done..not too bad, but there have been moments when I just had no idea what I was doing here. Sometimes I feel like I stumbled onto this profession by accident, and other times, i just think I shouldn't be here at all. Ok, there are those few moments I feel so proud of myself and realize that I have the potential to be the type of doctor I want to be....but so many things that just get in the way of you simply wanting to do your best. ahhh , there will be plenty of me whining about med school so let's just hold off on that for now.

I've been thinking about this war..sorry, I mean, conflict ..A LOT. I realized a long time ago that adults are just us kids but bigger. And yes, I still think of myself as a "kid"...what ? grown-up??? me , no! never! I will admit at first I supported the war. My initial reaction was to just bomb every place osama could be. But that was due to anger, and that's why I am not president....because things like this should have some amount of rational thought and discussion behind it...right? again, I overestimated these "adults". Invading Afghanistan was and is correct. The Taliban needed to be brought down. I mean the atrocities they forced upon the women in that country. Ridiculous! It made me so angry when I researched them for a paper I had to write in high school. But then we went to Iraq...and we called it "Shock and Awe"....awe???? do they understand what that means? what was there to be in awe of??????? it was at that moment, I felt a lil quesy to my stomach. This just didnt feel right. Why am I going to sit and watch you bomb random innocent civilians? What in the world do you think I could gain from seeing this?? Besides the fact realizing that maybe this was a mistake. Maybe some guy trying to prove his masculinity has just killed hundreds of innocent people and put thousands of brave soldiers' lives in peril ...

I hate Dick Cheney...my goodness the Devil Incarnate....just watch him, watch the way he talks. It makes me so angry when I watch his interviews. I feel he uses fear to make the American people think that what they do is right. kinda like how many pastors use fear of God to make people submit to their human wills, and not the will of God. I know a lot of this probably doesnt make sense....it comes from a compilation of 10 million other thoughts. but it's a start. If I make another post this week, it shall be a miracle. But I will surely try. take care

Monday, March 27, 2006

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 14:06:27 GMT

AMSA NATIONAL CONFERENCE!!! anyone going???

I'll think of you from Chicago =)

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Thu, 16 Mar 2006 03:20:17 GMT

I have so much to write since the last time, but today was just an exceptional day. I went to Texas Children's to the PICU for an ethical clinical session with Dr. Fernando Stein. What a great guy, what a great doctor, I am so humbled by all these great doctors I have known in my life. I got to meet this precious little baby, who has been in the ICU since he was born, with a hospital bill now totaling over $7 million !!!! It was such a hard choice, but what can you do? You follow your heart, which goes out to the dad who has so much hope. The main purpose of this entry was a thing Dr. Stein shared with us. I have no idea how I managed not to cry as he read it to us!! But it just gives you so much hope, some answers to life's mysteries. I hope you like this.

At Wit's End For Chosen Mothers by Erma Bombeck

Most Women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron saint, Matthew." "Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint, Cecelia." "Rudledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy"

"Exactly" smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods, "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'. She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations."

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Sat, 03 Sep 2005 16:13:05 GMT

so I had some time to get onto xanga...

My mind cannot still get a grip on all that is happening. I thought I was a pretty quick decision maker...but what would I have done as a leader of a city ...either New Orleans or Houston...?

It's crazy how one natural event can bring out almost all the mistakes this country has made...

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 16:31:47 GMT

oh wow....it's been since JUNE!?!?!??! I really thought I had written something in July.

Anyways.......HOW IS EVERYONE??????

I had a great fulfilling summer of doing absolutely nothing. And I am so glad I did not assert myself in anyway....which I will pay for some things later. But its ok, cuz I am glad I got the rest. Med school so far has been great. Its crazy but all you have to do is read the xanga of one person in med school and you pretty much get the jist of how everyone feels. So for all those who were writing about it...yes , I agree with you. I felt exactly the same way.

The first 2 days of orientation was so much fun!!!!!!!! My prn group's name is "I'm Rickettsia James, B****!" That's made funnier by the fact that we have actually some serious people, but we work really well together, so I love my group. But I enjoyed the camp, the horses, canoing, and just getting to sit on a porch swing and watch the little river and watch the baby alligator. I am slowly becoming a nature freak.

But reality set in , 8 am August 1st. No jokes, (except for the one that the 2nd years love to play, which I am happy to say, I did not fall for). Straight to business and thats where I've been so far...except for all the get-togethers and activities so we can "get to know each other". Had our first mini exam. nothing special. For some reason I wasnt even that stressed...my head felt like it would explode with all the info I was cramming in, but I just relaxed and realized...I will be taking tests for the rest of my life...what's the point of stressing?? ok take care...talk to xanga next year!!!

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 19:02:51 GMT

Last time I forgot to write about the Health Fair in Oak Meadows. It went really well. I know Angelica and her friends worked hard. But they really thought of every single detail, so hopefully they will hold more and more people will come.

So Oklahoma City went well. The trip was nice, since I didnt have to drive and I had my wonderful ipod to get me through the static and "country" songs (the cd player didnt work in our rental) Oh well, I love staying in hotels, and the bed was so comfortable. BUt the wedding was SOOO beautiful, Catholics really know how to have fun. The church was gorgeous, not too many people. It was fun. I had more thoughts about this, but it has been more than a week now, so I just cant reclaim the excitement of that moment.

Less than a month at my job I dont wanna leave!!!!!! Well I hope all my friends have a safe return from Europe, and Good luck to all those who are leaving for summer stuff, I shall miss you all

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Thu, 26 May 2005 00:03:46 GMT

Alot has happened since the last post. Graduation went great. I am glad that an awesome teacher won the teaching award (Dr. Colbert). The speeches were short and nice. I was amazed at all who came to see me. My co-workers (Crilda's whole family and her adorable baby), Dr. Price and Becky, Adina and Ulises, and of course Ayan, and Trang, James and just everybody. And I am so happy that I got to also spend some time with you guys and my special someone later on that night. It was great, thank you so much for coming on such short notice. The only thing was that I wish the students would have clapped more for their fellow graduates. Oh well...I did what I had to do.

Got to see my place. How great it was. I cannot begin to describe the excitement in me growing as the day nears for me to move. Then my bro's birthday, and all the gifts I got. Then Jamie came down on Monday. It was so great to see her and meet her cousins. Going to Oklahoma this weekend. Yay.

Got some awesome gifts, and I couldnt believe it. Dr Price gave me all these cool books to read. I feel so special...like he considers me one of his peers. Ahhh well, time to go be a bum. SEASON FINALES ARE AWESOME!