Priceless quotes at the dinner table:

Mom: They found jesus's bones. That means there was no resurrection. Guess we're down to the bunny rabbit.

Me: I told someone that I was born on easter sunday. They said "Oh great, you were born during the resurrection. You and something with the word "erection" as its root. That explains a lot."

Mom: All my women friends who are older shake now.
Dad: That's better then their husbands. They're dead.

Mom: Why are these eggs brown?
Me: I put fresh pesto in them, and some parmesan.
Mom: I don't care what you put in them, they look like something the dog barfed up.
Me: Well then MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN DINNER!!!!
Mom: Jesus, don't be so moody. Pass the wine dear.

Mom: My hairstylest is pregnant. What am I going do do after she gives birth? Who will cut my hair?
Me: Is it hers?
Mom: Far as she knows.
Me: You need to go to my hairstylest. She's a lesbian. That way you don't need to worry about her getting sperminated.
Dad: Unless its the immaculate conception.

Oh Xanga, how I missed you so. I know that I have treated you like some little bastard stepchild, but thats OK. I promise to no longer disown you for months at a time.

Work at J.Crew is going well as always. Scored some pretty rad deals on a few select pieces that I have had my eyes on for a while. Suede driving shoes for $14.99? Check. Henley? $7.99 baby. Boocut jeans? $9.99 doll.

It's pretty fierce.

So about the getting out of here thing....

I have a few deals that I'm trying to work out with a few shipping companies. The main holdups are how long do I want to go to sea for: 1 week? 3 weeks? 3 months? The pay with each is decent, so its going to boil down to who has better benefits and such. We'll see. I'll stay with the catering and such over the summer, especially since its fun and I can shape my schedual around whatever I please.  

And now...

May I take a moment to vent about the gay community:

It really does suck.

And not in the way that you're thinking.

I find lately that with most gay men are like a buffet. Ok, fine. I won't even call it a buffet, because that's like calling a Daewoo a Bentley. Ok, its more like the feed trough at Ponderosa. It boils down to:

~ financialy stable
~ educated
~ has a car
~ faithful
~ employed

Choose two.

Enough about that drivil. But what happened to people being goal oriented? Wanting to make something of their life? Have an impact on the world? Motivation? Some people I know have never heard of it. I think this rant comes from people I see very often stuck in dead-end jobs, dead-end lifestyles and dead-end relationships, tragically spinning their wheels and churning through the gears at a frantic pace...

Only to find that suddenly they have run out of gas. So they settle.

I refuse to settle. If anything, the past few months have been such an eye-opener for me in so many dynamic ways that I have a new perspective on many facets of my life.

Thank god for that.

I'm not whining about this whole observation. I have Norton Anti-whine 2007, and its pretty damn effective.

Jesus, I have not updated in FOREVER.

I wish I had something interesting to write about. Profound even.

Alas, this is not the case.

The holidays were nice...lovely, even. Did the family thing, etc etc etc. I was not clued into the *Christmas Lite* that my parents were partaking in, therefore I so severely overbought for everyone to the point of absurdity. Case in point: Mom got 3 cashmere sweaters, and assorted other goodies from J.Crew, whilst Dadzy recieved a cashmere pea coat (i KNOW!!! I am such the good son), plus assorted other goodies from J.Crew, while my el preggers sister recieved a popcorn maker and assorted other appliances from Williams Sonoma. J.Crew does not furnish maternity clothes, much to my sisters dismay. However, she furnished the appetite, so I went to WS knowing they would have just the thing for her weird cravings.

I was feeling very *HGTV-ish* today, so not only did I clean my bedroom, but I redecorated as well. It looks...

Fierce.

Yes ladies and gents, its pretty hot. From the brushed nickle curtain rod with sapphire blue crackle glass finials, to the gorgeous chocolate brown of the leather curtains (gift from the sister), to the new rug and assortment of orchids and bonsai, the room looks pretty stella.

Mind you, I did this while heavily medicated to reduce the ill effects of my head cold.

Boo.

I did take a short break however to jet down to Coastal Roasters and have a latte with Mat. We sat at the waters edge for over 2 hours just chatting and watching the sun set over Portsmouth. It was a very relaxing, almost surreal afternoon. Before we knew it, the sun had dipped beyond the horizon, pulling with it a gorgeous sunset and the closing curtain of yet another day.

I have that Maroon 5 song "Secret" on for the first time in a while. It's strange how a song can instantly transport you back to a time that you had long since forgotten about...or so you thought. The first time I heard this song was in the summer of 2003 at a beach down in Watch Hill, with Tim. We had just finished up an amazing dinner at this little beachfront restaurant, and his friend (who's name escapes me), after hearing that I liked Jamiroquai, brought me to her car to listen to this song.

"...I know I don't know you, but I want you, so bad."

That feels like forever ago.

My Best Amanda takes her Coasties exam today. I know she's going to rock its socks.

Um, I just put this song on for the 4th time.

I'm beginning to get antsy for my licence to come in.

Big Dady needs a Big Boy Job.

Circa yesterday.

I'm suddenly feeling very old.

Study hard, stay in school.

J.

Currently Listening Songs About Jane By Maroon 5 Secret see related

I'm reposting this because I just had a friend (who is gay but so far in the closet he's finding christmas presents), tell me that he wouldn't add me as a friend on MySpace, because "People might talk".

I'm flippin disgusted.

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday



I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.



I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.



I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.



We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.



I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.



I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.



I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.



We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.



I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.



I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.



I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.



I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.



I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.



I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.



I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.



I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.



I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.



I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.



I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends im a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.



I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"





IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS



IF YOU ARE IGNORANT... IGNORE THIS

 TOTALLY haven't posted in like for E.

Ended up at Annies tonight for a lovely dinner prepared by her. I brought the Godiva ice cream and she did...everything else. Ok, well not everything, because I did the dishes like a good 'mo. OH! Beth brought Knob Creek Burbon. Yeah. I'm feeling quite warm and cuddly at le moment.

I have a crush on my mechanic.

I took Deborah (my car) into be worked on today. She got a new set of sneakers and a nose job (tires and an alignment). SHE IS A NEW WOMAN. Fer sher. Tracks like she's on rails, and is SILENT at 97mph. But more about Bob. Bob is my mechanic. Bob is super sweet, married, and has a 4 year old son. He's a manly man. And lately, that's just what i'm in the mood for. He's my height, black hair, more pepper then salt scruff, and a body that you can tell is just gorgeous. Umm hummm.

On the subject of boys, I have a funny story. Whilst driving home from school (isn't "whilst" so much more fun the "while"?), i thought I sighted the car of an ex boyfriends mother. After I stopped hyperventilating (and realizing that it was not her), I calmed down. But only for a moment, for I had begun reliving past relationships. The joys, the heartaches, the headaches, the highs, the lows, the good karma, the "my karma ran over your dogma...". Just then, I began thinking about a number of failed relationships and how I wish they had gone differently, or in some cases, never even occured. It was at this juncture, I began to get warm. Hot even. *rolls windows down* I get more distressed. Angry. Flippin' pissed off. Still heating up. *opens sunroof*  I've wasted my time! *rips off coat* What was I thinking! *Turns on a/c full bore....its 40 degrees out* This is pathetic, and I'm disgusted with my shoddy love life! *feels light headed...at 60 mph* I couldn't even stand some of them! *salty taste in mouth*

Oh shit.

At that point I pulled over and proceeded to boot in the bushes on the side of a beautiful country road. Cars whizzed by as I was on all fours barfing up my iced coffee.

It was hott.

Ok, now pictures:

Major regatta.
Also majorly intoxicated.

Cliffwalk, circa June-ish. I believe I was mid-sentence.

Like the motion of the ocean...

Andy was Heath Ledger from Brokeback. Mark was the Prom Queen. At least in his dreams he was...

 
Gay, Gayer, Gayest.

And someday, we will have amazing gaysian babies...

 
Whaling Center event.
Prettttyyyyyyy

Firefighting on this ship this summer.
Flamers, can in fact, still extinguish flames.

And here I am deflowering the Prom Queen.
Twice, actually.