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| Random Quick ThoughtsI am getting old. Today I played one game of soccer and I had to ice my knee all afternoon. It still looks like a baseball fused with my knee on one side. Heres to being on my feet all day for the next two days. Then there are the bruises on my shins and knees. Church today was rather inspiring and encouraging. Today I also got the opportunity to do some in depth studying of a passage...I miss that. That is all.
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| I am going flying...Today I get the pleasure of flying to Santa Cruz. I might be able to visit my grandparents...I am pretty excited about that. This next weekend will be long I might be working Friday, Saturday and Sunday. As of now we are not working Sundays but soon we might since they are picking up some more accounts. I have been having many good conversations at work...mostly with the guys I directly work with but sometimes with guys in other areas. For some reason saying you are getting a degree related to bible is a conversation killer...so I stay as far away from talking to anyone about that as possible. But a couple of times it has opened doors to share about Christ. Only through the power of God working can anybody I work with come to Him. I have to constantly remind myself of that intellect can only prove that which is true but the Holy Spirit convicts and allows us to have faith. I hope that the people I work with are not like pharaoh (With hard hearts that God eventually hardens Himself).
After reading my last post one more time I realize that it was a quite bit more existential that I realized. In the end God is good, humans sin causing separation, Christ offered His pure record on our behalf, through this we have hope in the future not distress from the past, we can now have unhindered relationship with the Lord God of the universe and this all culminates with the return of the Lord to the physical realm ruling over all as king above all kings. That is the meaning that we all can truly have in our lives. Purpose that is not defined be emotion or mood, not defined in an empty hollow understanding of the physical realm.
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| Grasping for MeaningIf ever searching for meaning and significance in the life that you have. I stumbled upon a song by a guy that had a dad that left his family. Common story...His dad was also a drug addict. Common story in the state of the developed world. In a country so consumed by status, by the quest for more material possessions. The simple words expressed from the painful experiences in this man's life say it all.
The Widow
Dead man, were you ever alive?
Or was I just a seed you buried deep inside
Some woman you wed
Right before you crawled out of her bed and crept down the hall?
Did you think of me?
Did you even for a second hesitate in the doorway?
It's just something that I'd like to know
Though I'd still love you if told me
You just walked away
My God, what a world you love
Where men bury their sons
And without thought just walk away
And my mother's heart breaks
Like the water inside of her
Dead man, is it being high that makes you alive?
It makes you leave behind three boys and a wife in '89
As the track marks inched their way up your arm
My mother taught my brothers and I not to call you daddy
But to call you father
But I believe there is something here to be learned of grace
'Cause I can't help but love you
Even with a heart that breaks
Like the promises that you made
Like the promises that you made
The promises that you made
My God, what a world you love
I still love you
When in your bed dying of disease
taking over your cells
Its taking over me
I still love you
I still love you
I love you because after all I have done he still loves me!
In exploring the depths of your soul the most of disturbing of things is found. You are the very one that defines what is meaningful. In essence meaning is defined by the person ascribing meaning. For only the unseen ascribes true meaning...but we in our subversion of God's sovereignty have redefined meaning. Have you ever had a moment where something pops into your head and you did not know where it came from? The presence of things unseen or unexplainable is troublesome for even the most confident of adventurers. I have struggled with what the line of how much you can know about things unseen that which is immaterial in its base form.
Ecclesiastes 1:18For in much wisdom is much vexation,
and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.
Ecclesiastes 12:9-14
9 Besides being wise, the Preacher also taught the people knowledge, weighing and studying and arranging many proverbs with great care. 10 The Preacher sought to find words of delight, and uprightly he wrote words of truth.
11 The words of the wise are like goads, and like nails firmly fixed are the collected sayings; they are given by one Shepherd. 12 My son, beware of anything beyond these. Of making many books there is no end, and much study is a weariness of the flesh.
13 The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. 14 For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.
I have become more and more convinced that God in the attributes declared in the body of scripture is immutable inasmuch as His character never changes. In relation to situations God changes how He is going to react based on what the specific situation calls for in His infinite wisdom. I am glad that all humans in their corrupt state are finite in all things. You can only be finite as a created being. God being "greater than which nothing can be imagined" has to be existent because to exist is greater to exist than to not exist. We all have ideas and concepts of how life is to be. If always true in our finiteness we do not understand or comprehend that which is greater than which nothing can be imagined. God's character has to be immutable in that which has been reveal for if it is not then God would be able to be infinitely evil, for that which has been revealed is infinitely good. For God to change in character would not just allow for Him to be evil but for Him to be a deceiver...the name only held for Satan in the bible. It would be for Him to be against that which is the essence of the core of His Character.
Gen 1:31
31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.
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| Life Moves onI was told by someone wise the other day. "As Christians we need to say no to leadership situations when our life is not right." I agree in many cases because pastors do not take sabbaticals or time off it strains them and the church has a scandal on their hands. As many of you that have been in the world long enough know dealing with people is hard. Pastors have more expectations on them by people than anyone else in the church. This can be and is for many overwhelming. I once heard Christians are like "cannibals they eat their own." All it takes to tarnish a churches public image is one pastor making a poor decision. But the even worse fact is that does not matter, the larger picture is that the name of Jesus Christ is tarnished to the public. I can only hope that God through His Holy Spirit would guide the leaders of the churches of the world to see their limitations. For with the Holy Spirit they can overcome.
The next two days I work...my hand is still hurting. I am sore from Sunday, playing indoor soccer. Both of my feet have many blisters, and two of my toes have scabs. Man that was a lot of complaining...lol. Work tomorrow is going to be long. I hope that it is busy so I am not looking at the clock too much.
The list of things that I have been praying for has been getting longer and longer as people keep sharing their situations with me. If ever more present the futility of trying to fix or help using my own natural ability has been clear in my interactions. Only the Holy Spirit can transform in a long term sustainable way breaking the chains of pride, bitterness, pain, revenge, resentment, and self-preservation. For Jesus said you are going to have to loose your life to gain it...
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| The Simple LifeSometimes I long for a time where life is simple. I disgust myself.
Perhaps its the speed of which life happens. Every moment needs to be
filled. Ever seeking relationship but finding a vacant forced reality,
the reality that does not find meaning in substantive relationships.
For I have two thousand years of history to look at the broken state of
human relationships. We all seek true biblical love whether we
understand it or know it, insomuch as everyone wants people to accept
them in their highs and lows. We want that person that will be there
when we are hurting, clawing at life, knowing that we are fragile, the
type of fragility that can only be prescribed to a living being. But if
ever our previous experiences dictate how we react to expressions of
love. Some, many, react to expressions of love by running back to what
is familiar the hurt and the pain that only feeling alone can manifest.
Many times I have ran from what I know could be ever true knowing that
if everything was as I perceived well, my relationship with God would suffer. When Paul says "I can do all
things through Him who strengthens me," it reminds me that Paul was
saying that with much and with little He was content. I have been more
content with seeking mediocrity with relationships for if I had much
(Like Paul was talking about but in terms of relationships) I would
seek God less that when I am in want of those very human connections.
Because of my sin clouding my understanding of this I know that if
anything is true about this the more that we seek relationship with God
the better our relationships will be. For that which is the model will
ever more conform that which is being influenced by God. If ever
present God has been calling us to know true relationship that is and
will ever be unbroken perfect in its reality. We seek complexity
without knowing it, while the truth of the matter is that we cling to
the simple truth love God love others. In the utmost terms of our
broken state we know that if we are doing but those two things the
reality we are seeking will be ours. This can only happen due to the
manifest reality of our ability to have relationship with God because
of incarnation of Jesus Christ and His subsequent death and
resurrection showing power over death and all that grips us in our
complexity. As Jesus was ever conforming to God the Father, His
relationship shown as reciprocal in its nature. Christ LISTENED to what
the Father was telling Him, and reacted accordingly. I hope in my
fragile life God would ever conform me to His manifest will.
John Mueller
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