juanabepunk7's Xanga

Cogs

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 16:39:28 GMT

A cog has been thrown in the plans that I had for this next year. mmmmm God you are a funny fellow.

Details

Sat, 09 Aug 2008 16:45:02 GMT

What if reaching your full potential involved giving up the dream, giving up reaching your full potential? I know that this sounds illogical but keep reading. If embracing people around you versus eliminating toxic relationships. Focusing on giving versus taking. People that make us better people have a buy in, you have to give first to receive the life changing realization that it is hard to give to those that will not give back. We all can love those close to us but as a prophet said once "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If (insert your name here) love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors (Pimps, pedophiles, rapists, murderers, celebrities) doing that? And if (insert your name here) greet only your brothers, what are (insert your name here) doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." The hard to love are the people that truly transform our lives! To live a truly transformational life that is "in the hands of the potter" we have to let go give up our dreams taking hold of Gods will, His transformational will in our lives. Many times in my life I have thought that material prosperity equals God's blessing. I think this is a false foundational American understanding of the scriptures. God's blessing is through people I can live without stuff but I can not live without human contact. I am far from starving but when my relationships are cracked and broken I feel like I am starving for contact with people. Even the most introverted person desires some human contact. God blesses through allowing opportunity for us to create meaningful friendships and serve our fellow man with our material prosperity. For some reason we are blinded by things not eternal, money, status, respect and position. I find all those things alluring but not near as meaningful as I once did. I realized that I am not alone in this struggle and found someone 2000 years ago going through the same sanctifying process. "But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish (The word scata better rendered "dung"), that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ-the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead." My heart says I want to share in His sufferings but my life does not reflect that. How can this be remedied? If he was the remedy for my sin not coming to further to condemn but to save (John 3:17). Was part of His coming and the subsequent freedom Christians have a result of their power over the rulers of this world. If you can suffer, suffer to the point of death without blinking an eye you have victory over all the power of this world. When you can face emotional and physical pain, pushing on with an eternal focus the world is yours. You have freedom to do anything right and Godly in this world. In essence the details do not matter as much anymore, except for one detail that you are in Christ alone.

Currently I am still working out the details of my internship this year with Christ's Covenant Church in Winona Lake IN. That brought my mind to all of details involved along with all the moving details it entails. Details cause us to be in bondage to worry. God had, has a plan for all of us. In that I know plans are good but sometimes changes to those plans are hard to deal with. Changes in plans allow God to show how finite we are and how infinite He is, leaving us wondering how He is going to work everything out. Those times require submission to a reality we can only get a glimpse of through the message and mission of Jesus Christ. The kingdom of God is here through the work and persons of the true church. But is not yet here in that theocracy has not been established with Jesus Christ reigning over all. Back to details...Christians are clearly to live our lives in light of this fact "Christ is coming back to reign over all and He reigns in your hearts this very day." I hope that this is true in my life as well as anyone reading this where ever you are.

I hope this made you think. There was many "I's" in that obviously God still has much to do in my life. "So what about now? What about today? What if your making me all that I was meant to be? What if our love never went away?" - Daughtry

I leave town on August 26th for Indiana...

Time Flies By...

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 00:46:52 GMT

I have not posted much up here lately...so today is the day that I am going to.

The last two weeks have been a rush of things going on. I preached, worked, signed a lease, flew in a plane, listened to some great speakers, worked and now I am crashing from a long two week span. I am officially broken. I give up, my life needs to be lived in constant surrender to the will of God. "This is true joy in life, the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy." --George Bernard Shaw We all have things that we want to live up to, places that we want to go, a style of living that we have become accustomed to, what if all those paradigms were broken down and you did something that only God could do through you. What if you could only do this if you sacrificed your picture of the way things are supposed to be? Doesn't sound easy does it...when are you pushed to do that? Only in desperate times of your life. As the saying goes "desperate times call for desperate measures." Many times the context of this saying is centered around sinful behavior but since Jesus came turn the world upside down I am going to ask you to look at this upside down from how you have seen this saying used. Think "desperate times call for desperate measures" to mean "when you are desperate you act in ways that require submission to something bigger than yourself." When you are desperate you become focused. Generally this entails focusing on one thing, although in some cases many strategical things. When is the last time you have been desperate for anything? So consumed by it that you can not think about anything else?

Today I went to the bank and on the way back I was going to buy some things and every place I went they did not have them. I think that God is telling me "Don't spend the money that I have given you." What would it take for you to think that? It did not take me much just two places that I went to.

I did end up buying something today or somethings. I got 24 books for 37 dollars. I am so excited for the reading that I will be able to incur upon arriving in Indiana. That along with the books that I bought last week are making me evermore excited to be back in school. That along with the job I have for the next school year is getting finalized. Along with all this I am leasing a house with a friend of mine right next to the lake.

"Hosea's Wife"

I just spoke silence with the seeker next to me
She had a heart with hesitant, halting speech
That turned to mine and asked belligerently
"What do I live for?"

I see the scars of searches everywhere I go
From hearts to wars to literature to radio
There's a question like a shame no one will show
"What do I live for?"

We are Hosea's wife
We are squandering this life
Using people like ladders and words like knives

If we've eyes to see
If we've ears to hear
To find it in our hearts and mouths
The word that saves is near
Shed that shallow skin
Come and live again
Leave all you were before
To believe is to begin

There is truth in little corners of our lives
There are hints of it in songs and children's eyes
It's familiar, like an ancient lullaby
What do I live for?

We are Hosea's wife
We are squandering this life
Using bodies like money and truth like lies

We are more than dust
That means something
That means something
We are more than just
Blood and emotions
Inklings and notions
Atoms on oceans

Enough Said

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 18:42:35 GMT

I am preaching this sunday at Ripon Grace...this song emphasizes my prayer for the people that will hear me...

Give me your eyes

Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black tile
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Wasnt it far beyond my reach?
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
again

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide whats underneath
Theres a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
To ashamed to tell his wife
Hes out of work
Hes buying time
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

Ive Been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all alone

Work...Work...Work...

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 02:05:24 GMT

How many F-Bombs can you hear in one day before you go crazy?

Balance

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 01:08:24 GMT

Every conversation I have been having lately ends with one word explaining the best course of action...Balance. There will always be extremes but they are never leading to a solid understanding of life. Its the end of the world...its not the end of the world. Which is it? Have you ever thought well in the complexity of life there is no cookie cutter answer about how to act but two extremes and one balancing point. We always hear of extreme figures. In fact I think that we worship them in a sense. They have all the attention of the media and all eyes are on them. When in fact they all have holes. They are based in reactionism. We all are controlled by a series of reactions against certain events, people, issues, political parties, wars, and religions.

Many times because of the fear that we have of association we distance ourselves from the opposing side...when in all actuality there is still a consistent thread of truth. We all think that we are following what is best for us. Whether that is found in selfish ambition or cultural norms or religion. I am going to ask you to do something...stop rejecting without thinking. We are all people hurting, pining for relationship with the only source of life, the one true creator -- the God of the Bible. Acceptance of people starts by loving the person that is sinning...something that is altogether a supernatural action. Its near impossible to love those that are "less" lovable than you in the world...the murders, the rapists, the pedophiles, the wife beaters, the...I think that you are getting the point. God calls us to love and take care of the least of these. Its easy to love those that you like...but hard to love those that you can not disengage the sin from. What you have to realize is that was you or is you, you are guilty of treason against God. But God actually sent his son to die, paying the sentence that I and you deserve. He did not come to condemn us because we already were but to free us from the self imposed chains on our lives.

John 3:17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

Culture

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 05:40:57 GMT

Since when did praying a prayer save? And be something that Christians should be excited about.

Even the demons believe and shudder! - James 2:19

Disillusionment

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:14:01 GMT

Disillusionment should only happen as one is exposed to great injustice proposed through "justice" but altogether perverted to oppose the very description and definition of the word. I have been very disillusioned with life right now. Life from the life giver has the ultimate meaning and substance but all that is separate from that manifests perpetuating death. I hope and pray that the chains of the illusion of life through material possessions and money will be broken and people will see that it is not the worst thing to be without. Funny thing people all live in houses so close but they have fences and do everything to keep people out. But what you find is people that are very lonely and depressed with many not having many true friends. The quest for the middle class life in America has been killing people inside for years. I want to write a book called "Blue Collar Christianity: Desperation in The Midst of Great Wealth." Much of the American church knows where their next meal is coming from...much of the world does not. I am waiting for hope to conform me to the will of God.

Faithful

There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave
i wave my arms' round about me and blow with all my might
I cannot sense you close, though I know you're always here
But the comfort of you near is what i long for

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you, I know you still hear everyword I pray
And i want you more than i want to live another day
And as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful

All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone
i still feel the guilty one, still trying to make it right
So i whisper soft your name, let it roll around my tounge,
knowing you're the only one who knows me
You know me

Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as loss to me
You are all I want
You are all I want

One Word: Weary

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 04:51:15 GMT

Today I found out that I am going to work five 12 hour shifts this week. For once in my life I long for rest for sleep for life to slow down. Usually I press myself to the brink of exhaustion but with age comes wisdom (sometimes). My heart can but be consumed by thoughts of rest along the horizon. Rest but last for a time and then work again must happen.

Thoughts have been racing through my brain...faster than I can verbalize them. All surrounding my sermon coming up. Because of my new found shifts at work I have little time to study and sit down and organize my thoughts. In other news I have many things that I hope to read soon but do not have near the time to read right now.

God has been teaching me more right now that you could learn in any school!

Now I leave for a completely inadequate amount of sleep before I work again.

Unreached People

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 17:20:47 GMT

At the right side of my page there is a new unreached people group that has not heard the good news of Jesus Christ. You too can have this show up on your website here is the link. Joshua project.

Today is a blessed day for me I have a list of things to get done and motivation to get them done. Seeing so many lost souls in the city on Saturday caused my heart to be broken. "Wake up O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine upon you." The work that was started with the salvific work of Jesus Christ has not ended! The bible is being heard in new languages everyday. There are people in our over saturated "Christian nation" that have never heard the gospel. I hope that this disturbs you and wakes you up to the urgent reality of comfort versus following Christ in His sufferings.

At the core of the human ideal across cultures is self preservation. It manifests itself in different ways but is always present in the core form. Can you lack self preservation for the sake of those being oppressed? Can you trust in the God greater than all our fears? That He will be faithful to His people? I am going to challenge you to throw self preservation out the window. Make decisions based on the bible not reputation, not comfort, not preserving your way of life, but become a servant. Serving those that have no advocate before God.