Guilty-NOT!mood: initially extremely happy but then it evolved into disappointment
WED 17 SEPT 08 // PHUTURE
Finally jess met up with me... to zouk... for some mambo'ing session... needless to say... jason was there too... with his friends of cos... Well i was supposed to meet jess in zouk itself... and i only reached at around 1130pm... when the party was just about to begin... wooot!
However... a diseaster was approaching... as thick clouds engulfed upon the initial velvet blue sky... dotted with fluffy white clouds...
i seriously missed her like crazy... ok... im so lesbian now...
in this pic she complained... my eyes were unseen-able...
can see wad... >.<
now my eyes can be seen right?
eyes gone again...
fel was in phuture with shawn... tgt with yiwen and her girl friends... whom i met for the 1st time...
fel's face was flashed directly!!! WHAHAHA*
-------------------------------------> disaster arrived... and i left phuture for awhile... (refer to end of blog post of more information...)
shawn . me . fel . jansen
bumped into yong quan... hsehubby's friend...
and danielle babe*
stripped shades... woooo*
yong quan was freaking high... he didnt even remember taking this pic...
guofeng was high too... >.<
yiming hmm...
ming yuan and me with small eyes... pictures... HA!
*super duper tall babes*
(except me... ha...)
katie . me . danielle
both katie and danielle were bending lower la... woooo*
yiwen bumped into hi-bye-friends
guofeng lent me his freebie-cap... woot!
check out the background of this pic... LOL*
Are you guys at the prata shop alrdy?
(HELLO? jess is my freaking best friend... of cos i'll see how's she doing... and needless to say... being my best friend... she would wan me to hav fun too right??? and take note: he kept mentioning the words "YOUR FRIENDS"... it's extremely hostile... and childish in a way... i jus do not understand how can one be so selfish? and funny how u used to mock me... about me being possessive and all... pls reflect upon urself... who's the possessive one here? haaaa!)
if u realised... jason's replies are all quite defensive... and the thing is... i wasnt even attacking... wtf?!
THE (OUTSIDE-ZOUK) STORY
i went outside phuture and was on my way to find jess... however i bumped into her jus outside zouk... along the road... and found out that there was some bad comments made by some stranger-boy... and she was really sad about it...
stranger-boy said to a friend: eh i wan to dance with that girl (me)... but i dun wan to dance with the fat one... (jess)
jess heard it... but i did not...
when she went back to the hotel... she cried like mad... that's what she told me...
it was then i realised... she had lumped the whole incident and cast the fault all on the fact that i did not dance with her and left her dancing alone... the thing was that i only danced with fel for a couple of minutes... and then OUT OF GOODWILL... i asked jess to ask jason if he wanna join us... now she knows that feeling of being left out?!?! then how come for the past few times when i clubbed with her... and jason came sticking to her 24/7... i did not even complain a shit...
additionally... i think she felt left out... was bcos while moving ard between zouk and phuture... i bumped into a couple of friends... and so she felt like she doesnt hav anyone ard her... and hence she felt that she didnt belong there... leading to the feeling of being left out...
another factor was that... i had lost quite some weight (im not tryin to boost abt it or whatsoever.. jus tryin to state my point here) while she had gained quite some weight... so she felt a difference between us i guess...
i seriously do not understand why such a small incident can lead to such a drastic consequence...
me losing weight is only for my own good... it is not to put others down... though it may seem that way... and i only aim to lose weight at my thighs... and when my thighs becomes smaller... my whole body becomes skinner too...
TO JASON:
i am aware that u think that im not good enough in many aspects... and do not deserve the life im living now...
such that my eyes are so small it cant be seen whenever i laugh or smile... my boobs are so flat and my body structure is so big and im too tall thus making me look like a trans-sexual... places of my bod that are supposed to be big are small and vice versa...
then to my personality... im a possessive girl who do not socialise much... thus i do not have many friends... thing is... my social circle is expanding... and though i do admit im possessive... i still let jasper do stuff that he enjoys... i do not stick to him 24/7 like you-know-who...
personally... i think u're missing ur old life...
but then again... these are all my own personal views... and i do hope there are no hard feelings caused... as I AM NOT ATTACKING YOU...
TO JESS:
some guy wanted to dance with me... but didnt wan to dance with u... it's not my fault too right? it's not like i controlled them to say those stuff and act like that right?
i've already said fel and gang will be there... and i would dance with them for awhile if i were to bump into them... and u've already know bout it... so wad's the big fuss??? over me dancing with fel for awhile... think about the times u danced with jason for almost the whole time at zouk... i didnt leave or cry or whatsoever... until now... then im bitchin abt it...
pls think about it...
anyhoo... i msged jess and asked her out for coffee on the following sun... but she didnt reply... will our friendship be strong enough to withstand this stupid incident?
i do hope for the best now...
