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just_a_sojourner
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read my profile
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Name: :katie:
Country: United States
Metro: Chicago
Birthday: 6/15/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: Jesus, long talks, even longer walks, rain, music, traveling, wandering, photography, art, coffee shops, shows, sitting by fireplaces, seeking the truth with all my heart
Expertise: you bring me a picture, I frame it.
Message: message me
AIM:  peculiardaze
Member Since:
11/16/2003
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| my heart hurts.
familiar feelings.
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That's about all I can do right now. hehe. Smile. Yep. It's good. I am excited for this journey and the people who are on it with me.
Oh man, I seriously just cannot stop smiling. : D
: )
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| Oh Friday nights, how i lovehate you and love you again.
It's funny how it's so easy to fake being "fine" or "okay". A simple smile will do, throw them off the trail. But in reality you are still crying inside and wondering why. Maybe it's a bad week, that's it. Last week was better. It's easy to wipe away the tears; walk into work like nothing happened in the car before you walked in. It's easy to automatically say "good" when someone asks how's it going. I am learning how to just "be". But sometimes, it's easy to put up a wall and act like nothing ever happened. But something did happen. That will not go away.
Not to say I am terrible and that, I am doing so much better, it's just been a really rough week. I am not saying that whenever I smile or act normal I am faking it, most of the time I am okay, but that doesn't mean deep down I am always okay.
I can't shake these feelings of emptiness and loneliness. I also think part of it is that it's hard coming home after living with tons of people and friends in a dorm.
I met a homeless lady tonight. In Wheaton. What a crying shame. Richest suburb around. Her name is Marie. She told me she used to build cars. She even offered me her orange. I saw her crying, with her head in her lap, sitting on the curb. When I asked if I could pray for her she said to pray she finds an apartment.
IHOP. What a gem of a place, along with Denny's, Jedi Garden, and Granny's Kitchen... oh man. The all-night diner scene is hopping, happening and altogether sketch, but marvelous.
I was thinking tonight about some things Ken said a few weeks ago. I think he's right- true freedom is in following Christ. A lot of Christians are into the whole "I don't do..." lifestyle. It's like a claim to fame- Hey, I'm alright because I don't do drugs, or whatever. But it seems their reasoning for not doing those things is just because they are "not supposed to", not because they don't want to. But it's not about just not doing those things. It's about not doing them because you are most free when you are not doing them. For example, I choose not to have sex not only because it's wrong since I am not married, but because by not doing it I actually have more freedom. I choose not to smoke cigarettes because I am most free by not being addicted to tobacco. I choose not to do drugs because I have more freedom and control of my body by not taking/doing them. You can go on and insert any action or thought in there, not just drugs or whatever... I realize i just made a list of "I don'ts," but my purpose was to show my choices are based on freedom and whats best, not just because I am not supposed to in order to be a "good Christian." Enough ramblings... do I even make sense?? haha. It's all about Galatians 5:1- "For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yolk of slavery."
I think I am going to the city tomorrow. I miss it. It's home.
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