"u know those times when u just feel so lucky to be around someone? and everything is just so new...but still it seems really good.... and ive got this good feeling about things this time... its hard to explain... im just extremely extremely thrilled...."

so...i posted this 9 months ago

its so amazing to look back at what has happened to me

*i fell in love...its real...im in a dream*

still extremely thrilled,

emma

hmmmmmmmm

so the end of the year is here.... and i has been interestng to say the least

im so tired of pretending that i dont care about certain things... because i DO!

and...i realized that my feelings about alot of things have changed over this past year... in all actuality... ive changed alot.. i dunno if for better or worse... just changed. ive made some choices that i regret....and others that i dont.

whatev. i have a GOW paper to write... fuck.

i love u,

<3 emma

**and... as always...theres a ben fold's lyric that always seems to explain exactly how im feeling... haha

All i know is i've gotta be
Where my heart says i oughta be
It often makes no sense in fact,
I never understand these things i feel

Don't change your plans for me
I won't move to la
The leaves are falling back east
That's where i'm gonna stay

You have made me smile again
In fact, i might be sore from it
It's been a while
I know we've been together many times before
I'll see you on the other side

*******************************

scratch that

1. im not quiting xanga

2. im not fucking happy anymore

i feel like a fucking idiot...

here i stand

sad and free

i can't cry

and i cant see

what ive done

oh god, what have i done?

i poured my heart out

it evaporated

see?

- the true LOVE of my life... ben folds

lol

whatev. im outtt

<3 em

i think im quiting xanga...

lalalalala

i havent been this happy in a looooong time

i like it

hehe

<3 emma

I FOUND IT!

my dream school

drum roll please....

CCM!!! ( the college conservatory of music at cincinnatti)

omg omg it was beautiful and perfect and i loved everything about it

the flute teacher scared the shit out of me...but he was still amazing... and it was a good wakeup call 4 me...

i gotta work my ass off over the next year...

uh yeah... did i mention they accept 4 flute performace majors out of over 100 applicants??

yeah... thats 4 percent

shit

hmm....

im gonna go practice... hehe

i loooove u!

<3 emma