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| I'm mad.
Because your name is still a part of my password.
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| I actually remember the days of Xanga where I would thrive off the amounts of comments and e-props I would get from my Xanga entries. As a result, I would try to make my entries as witty and as clever as possible. Maybe something I wrote or said would someday lead me to the "Featured Weblogs" because I felt that what I had to say was not only important, but uniquely different. It's funny how times have changed isn't it? You no longer write to get people to comment on your entries. Now, you continue to write to find a way to express yourself in words. And with the appearance of Facebook, it seems that Xanga no longer serves that need, or at least doesn't serve the need as much as it did before.
You see, I remember entries where I would get over 50 comments. The amount of eprops I received were incredible. It made me feel "loved" or somewhat "special" in a way that people actually took the time to read what I had to write. Whenever I got anything less than 5 comments or 10 eprops (because you know, each comment could be worth two eprops), I would actually feel bad or neglected. Maybe the entry I had written wasn't witty enough. Maybe what I had to say in that particular entry wasn't necessarily that important or as big of a deal as I originally thought it was. It's amazing how little things like that used to bother me or make me question myself. Stupid, isn't it?
I guess where this is all leading to is the fact that...although I considered myself a little childish and a little immature back then, has any of that actually changed? I'm still childish, I'm still immature. Sometimes, I still check to see if people commented on my entries. But in the end, I'd rather stay the way I am now than to change and be someone I'm not.
With that being said, here are the lovely New Year's Resolutions:
Do better in school.
That one semester I made it onto the Dean's list...that felt pretty fabulous. Not only that, it really does feel good to do well in your classes, to look at your final grades and think to yourself, "Damn, I worked my ass of in that class and got myself a damn A bitches!" But yeah, doing better in school is pretty self-explanatory, isn't it?
Organize and re-do my room.
Because it's disgusting and ugly.
Improve my faith.
Since I didn't go to church as much last year...or I didn't pay attention, I will set aside time for the great Man Upstairs because without Him, what would be the point? Maybe get back to being a lector in church? Hmm...
Become independent.
I have this annoying habit of depending on people to do things, or expecting people to do things. Maybe it's not necessarily "people" I'm talking about, but more like...a person. I'd like to become independent of that person; to be able to move on and do things that make me happy for once.
Be financially stable.
Let it be known that I have horrible spending habits. With that being said, my job pays well...I just need more hours. SO, work my hours, get my money, spend it wisely, makes me happy.
Improve relationships with my family and friends.
I just want to be a better daughter and a better friend. That's that.
Do well on my MCAT's.
Need I say more?
Spend time with my sisters.
I'm tired of not being in pictures because of curfew! SO, I will set aside mandatory play dates with my sisters so everyone can relax and have fun!
HAVE FUN!
With all the "serious" resolutions, I don't want to forget about enjoying life and living it to the fullest. And if that takes random wild nights I don't remember then so be it! Bring it on!
Take care of myself.
Now, that may sound a little vain, selfish, whatever. But really, in
2007, I threw a lot of myself into everything but taking care of
myself. I got sick a lot, I committed to things that I didn't have time
for, I gave up a lot of time that could've been spent elsewhere to
people who didn't appreciate it. SO, I will take care of myself, be it
physically, financially, spiritually, emotionally, whatever. If it
deals with me, I will take care of it. Oh yeah...and I will workout
this year. I WILL.
AND FINALLY,
Change the world in some way, shape, or form.
I know I can. I just need to find a way to do it
So, 2008. What will you bring me this year?
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| So, Merry Christmas all! I hope everyone had a fabulous holiday weekend. I think I'm going to miss hearing the Christmas music all the time though. It really put me in the festive spirit and mood. Needless to say, I probably need the Christmas music because it keeps my mind off the fact that I now have zero money and I must now work my ass off to try to make up for all the things I bought this season. Fun, isn't it?
But besides that, I guess what everyone has to start thinking about is the fact that 2008 is just around the corner. Is it me, or did 2007 just fly past us like nothing? It seems almost surreal that we're starting a new year and I'm now only one year away from graduating...at least hopefully graduating. It just brings to light the fact that...man, I really haven't learned the shit I need to try to "make it" out there. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!??!?!
Hm..but at the same time...do I really care? I guess, at this point in time, I'm really not sure if I do. A friend of mine told me that he could see me as a doctor, because I'm overly caring and anything that I try to do, I try to do more than I can do. He said I'm willing to go over the top to not only get things done, but to get things done in a way that makes it the best. Is that really so? Because if it is, then why is school always the one exception. I know for a fact that I do NOT go over the top to study for class or for a test. I don't try to do more than I can do when it comes to school. I guess the reason I'm complaining and bitching about school is because of all the A's and B's I got this semester, I got that ONE freaking C in what was supposed to be the "easy" class...if you went to class. I got that ONE grade that just makes you feel like dog doodoo.
Not only that, relationships with that certain boy aren't as peachy keen as I would've liked them to be. Who knew that after almost three years of being together, you could fall out of love with somebody? Or that you could find a relationship to be more of a "job" than an escape FROM a hectic environment. And through it all, as I wait, I'm still chugging along with that one hope that maybe one day, he'll look at me and say, "Damn, I really love that girl and I want to be with her." Call me a hopeless romantic but isn't that what every girl wants? To have someone look at them and say they are the epitome of perfection? That to them, they are everything that they have ever wanted in a girl? I look back at past Xanga entries and all I can think to myself is how naive I must've been to believe that good things don't come to end. I must've looked at him and said to myself that he would never stop loving me, or that he would never just give up on us. I probably thought to myself, how lucky I must be to have found someone who loves me unconditionally. But if the person I am now could tell the person I was back then what the outcome would've been, would I have said anything to prevent myself from being in pain? Probably not. Like I said in the previous entry, I've learned that sometimes in the presence of failure, there is a blessing in disguise.
But yeah, that was incredibly gay. Anyways, in the midst of feeling like stinky dog doodoo...I really do miss my sisters. I miss hanging out at carrel space, seeing them in the library studying in a stinky room, skipping class to get pho, hanging out and having fun. I just miss y'all!
But enough of that, I'll see you bitches soon enough, and we'll get to do even more fun shit this semester!!! CONVENTION 2008 IN FUCKIN' CHICAGO?! Hells yeah!
The next update probably won't happen for awhile. But, I guess I'll update with the whole resolution list and why I probably won't keep up with them this year. | | |
| So I haven't used Xanga in such a long time but I guess I can try to use it now huh? Lots of things have been going on this semester. Needless to say, I think this is most definitely one of the most interesting semesters I've experienced so far. I'm trying to do everything that I need to do in order to graduate in time and I'm trying to get my lazy butt into medical school. It kind of sucks how fast time goes by and how quickly things end. It seems like only yesterday when I was an incoming Freshmen at the University of Houston, meeting and rushing for alpha Kappa Delta Phi, pledging, crossing, having wonderful memories with my pledge bros from the Southwest region, and basically sucking at school. In my years of college, I've experienced many gains in sisters and friends, and in the many memories I've made. I've learned things that they never teach you in the classrooms, and quite frankly, they wouldn't be able to teach you even if they tried. I've experienced many losses, most notably the deaths of three important people in my life. I've learned to cope with disappointment and with frustration. I've learned to understand that sometimes in the presence of failure, there is a blessing in disguise. I've learned to accept the fact that some people, you just can't help no matter how hard you try. I've learned that I can adapt and get along with people that I normally wouldn't have in the past. I've learned to accept the fact that love, even with all it's greatness and all it's glories, doesn't always lead to a perfect happy ending. I've learned to somewhat manage my time, although it's taken me almost three and a half years for me to learn how to do it.
I guess in the end of everything, at the point in my life that I am at right now, I'm thankful for the lessons that I have learned and the experiences that I've had. Though there would definitely be things that I wish I could've changed, I would never trade this in for anything in the world.
So I guess that's the update on my life. How has everybody else's life been? | | |
| mahaha, so i thought i lost my password to xanga. and i was actually distraught.
but i found it.
so it's all good
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