so i got a little...disturbed i guess, today. my grandpa (i call him Pop) and grandma (i call her Nana, these two are on my mom's side) and my grandma (my dad's mom, call her grandma) and my uncle johnny (who lives with my grandma) were all over today.
Pop...he's one of those grandparents with a story about everything...Anyways, Nana's askin me if i ever knew about my Pop swimming across and back this lake (sweet arrow lake). i've heard the story, but they went on and told it anyways. Pop says he swam across this lake, staying close to shore, but he knew he'd make it, it was just  if he got tired of it i guess. the lake is about a mile long. so he swam to the other side and took a break for 1/2 an hr. he just sat around, this side of the lake had the more "upper crust" people, so no one knew him. then he swam the mile back. now he goes back in time to another story.
he explains how when he was younger swimming across the lake is what made you tough, like your right of passage, this made you a man (that type a thing). he was always scared to do it. he hung out with all these older guys, real tough guys, great swimmers, they'd all done it.
so one day him and the guys, "a tough crew", are walking down to the lake, and "Joe Schmo" (i forget the guys name) he was leader of the bunch, he says to Pop, "Harry, today you're swimming across the lake." Joe says their gonna start at the deep side of the lake and Pop 'll have a convoy going with him. "and these guys could swim, they were all great swimmers". so they get to the lake and joe says alright everybody in let's go, just take it nice and slow Fes (harry fessler)". so they start out, and pop says "i just kept swimming and swimming, i didn't even look where i was going cause i didn't want to see how far i had to go. i just keep going, and i get so far and decide i better look". so he looks and sees he made it, he stops and the water only goes up to his waist. he made it.
   telling the swimming stories you could tell he was proud of it. i never did any right of passage thing that i'm proud of, did i? do we have something like this and i just haven't realized. i guess for all you niggas in the hood it would be the first time you robbed the local mini market haha.
also what happend to tough crews? and the good ol' boys. i've got some cool friends, a cool crew, but it doesn't seem like as big of a deal. maybe it will be someday. and kids just aren't tough anymore. most you "gangstas" think your tough, but..haha..eh most of you are just jokes.

this story is one of many. i'm supposed to hear the one about the guy who taught him how to tie a windsor knot (style of tie tying) at some point. he also told a story about his brothers and stuff they did. another story about this dam where everyone would go picknicking and stuff and how a lot of servicemen got jobs there working on the construction of the dam when they got out of the military.

the thing that bugged me is that hearing all these stories makes me feel like i'm not really doing anything worthwhile. i think it's a flaw with in our whole generation. we no longer appreciate things like people did back in the day. i don't remember doing any kind of right of passage thing. like that type of thing was a big deal to those kids, we don't do anything like that, do we? also i think it's a shame we have nothing like WWII or w/e where so many good memories are made (cause Pop is always telling stories about his time there, just stuff that happened, and people, he wasn't involved in much conflict). i mean of course those things are bad. but look at how the affect countries in positive ways, bringing people together for a common cause. creating a group of people with dignity and respect (servicemen). you hear someone was in the service and you get the image of someon with those qualities, and i think most of us lack those qualities very much.
    now adays all we do is bitch about wars. there's a war or conflict and everyones against it, the only unity is the unification of the people against everything. no one seems to support anything.
maybe our current war is fucked up, i don't know, i'm not getting into it. but apparently there's pretty many people out there that think it's worthwhile, or else they wouldn't have declared war (congress must do this, it can't all be blamed on bush). so even if the war is messed up, why can't we just back it? it's our country, our men and women, what happened to patriotism? maybe i'm wrong, i don't know statistics, but doesn't it seem most older people, people that served in WWII and were alive for all that, most of them give full support of the war. they don't sit around and whine and bitch, they are proud and they don't care if it's right or wrong, more involved people (congressmen) then them decided it was the right thing to do, so that's good enough for them.

i guess i'm just sorta rambling. i haven't really gathered my thoughts and put them in logical order and stuff. sorry for confusion.

Pop's now telling my sister another story about easter or something haha, who knows. i'm just saying, i don't see myself having this kind of pride in my life, and the events of my life

here's some two things Pop has said that really struck me:
"don't ever get too smart, you might not be able to learn anything" in response to my Nana talking to me about grades and junk
"alright i'm gonna get going. give me a kiss goodnight, goodnight not goodbye" Nana was staying over night and he dropped her off.

so i finally updated. i might edit with some pics from recent events...if i get around to uploading them off my camera.
i took some in philly, some at parties. there's this one of kenny that will make you piss your pants.