The goodbyes have begun. and yet, the thought that I am actually leaving is still sureal. Even though I've been packing and my room is a mess and my to-do list only gets longer by the day, it's still hard ot believe that I am actually going to do this. And mostly, I don't want to say goodbye. So, do me a favor. Lets not say goodbye. See ya later sounds much more appealing.

I'm not sure if it is excitement or fear that makes me want to scream...

I have one month to finish my homework. Then I will be at orientation.

My plane tickets are being bought this week. If everything goes according to plan.

I found out today what my schedule will be like through November. I can do this...

I'm trying to remember to take deep breaths. breathing is good.

God, we're in this together, right. And you know what you are doing. And that is where you want me to be. And where I want to be, mostly.
I'm just going to take this one day at a time. Please don't let me lose sight of you is all of this.

Last week it snowed. really snowed. white, six inches deep, everywhere, for a whole day, snowed. It was beautiful enough to be worth being cold.

My cousin Trisha and I went muddin in it. She claims she helped me re-find the country girl in me. Alyse doesn't think I ever lost it. But she wasn't there to see me run over that tree. (oops. it was a little one. and it shot right back up.) or when we got stuck in that mud "puddle." or when we had to outrun the new neighbors dogs. (maybe we shouldn't have taken that shortcut through their yard, but really we had no choice. The trail was too short for us to back out and there was a tree in our way.) or when my nana was threatening to hose us off before letting us in the house. (thankfully, the snow put a stop to that idea.)

Today it was in the 80's outside. I liked it. a lot. I'll be moving to a tropical island in a few months. I'm excited.

remembering to breathe...even during the breathtaking moments.

My Father is amazing. and funny.

some of you have heard the story. other haven't. But really, I have no idea how it will end. One minute I think I'll just sit back and see what happens, enjoying the journey; the next I am ready to run the other direction and hide. in the closet, under the bed, behind the curtains--doesn't matter as long as I'm there long enough to gather my courage. I generally don't like to be found.

I desperately want to have the courage to sit and enjoy.