The life and times of a gay college studentYou only get one life so you might as well live it the way you want to and always be true to yourself
kaiser2682
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Name: Jesse
Country: United States
Birthday: 6/26/1982
Gender: Male


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Member Since: 12/21/2004

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Friday, June 27, 2008

So I did not move east, north, south or west for work.  I ended up staying right here in the thriving metropolis of Indianapolis, Indiana.  I had received a couple different offers with Sears at different stores but I ended up getting an offer from the store I trained at.  I wanted to move and try a new city but the offer to stay was too good to turn down.  You can't beat a 25% raise.  So now I am the store manager of appliances and electronics.  The job isn't bad, a lot of stress at times trying to drive my team of thirty associates to meet company sales metrics and other goals.  And well what makes meeting some of those goals difficult is that I don't believe in part of what we do.  One major metrics I am graded on is how many new credit cards we open.  With the country and its citizens already so far in debt I just cannot see how we can ethically push credit the way we do.  I mean at the store we open around four hundred new cards a month for people to instantly rack up thousands of dollars in debt purchasing items such as LCD TVs or expensive front load washers and dryers that no one actually needs.  I think so many people confuse their wants and needs in today's society.  No one needs a flat panel television but everyone seems to want one and will try to split the cost of one across multiple credit cards just to make the purchase.  But just goes to show how messed up American society is with what is it 70% of our economy being based off consumer spending. 
Off the soap box now the job isn't that bad really I mean it is a huge opportunity taking over the store business I did.  It is a ten million dollar business that I have assumed responsibility for and thus far after almost two months we aren't doing too bad, seem to be adjusting well now.  After the first month I was so stressed out I almost had a nervous breakdown.  Sure it had something to do with the fact that I did not take a day off for 25 days.  I am accustomed to the work load now and actually taking the days off and relaxing.  The only bad part I foresee is that I am going to have to fire my current assistant and hire a new one.  I like my current assistant and he is a really nice guy but at the same time he is a slow worker and just cannot keep pace with me.  He likes to take too many breaks, hang around and chat some and then the worst part is that when I am not there he cannot seem to think for himself and recognize what has to accomplished.  First I have to begin a formal write up with him but it will be hard because he has become a good friend just not a good assistant.  Add to that the fact that he is 45 with a wife and a kid just entering college but got to learn to separate my personal feelings from my work responsibilities because if I do not do something I will have to carry all the extra work load he is not accomplishing for me. 
Other than work my life is kind of boring at times.  I go play poker with the guys some and occasionally go out to the bars, like last Sunday went and caught the drag show.  Went out with a fellow manager and an associate and turns out that through one person I told I am out to pretty all other managers and most associates because of her being very gossipy.  But not a single person has ever said anything negative towards me because of it and well that is saying something.  Other new things with me is as a stress reliever I bought a kayak and have been going out on the lake and rivers around here every day off when the weather is nice.  Pretty fun just going out on the water and paddling around, going over small, key word small rapids, and soaking up the sun.  There is a kayak club here in town that think I am going to join so have people to go out and paddle with.  So besides this guess I just need to update my journal more often so I have something to go back and read to remember each stage of my life.
And oh yeah happy 26th birthday to me today.


Monday, April 07, 2008

Currently Watching
Maxed Out
By Mark Mumma, Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, Dave Ramsey (II), Liz Warren
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God I hate being indecisive.  As I have stated before I am a store manager in training for a large department store and well my training is now over and I am on the job hunt for my own store to run.  Anyway I had an phone interview and received an offer in Racine, Wisconsin today but I am just not sure that I want to move there or what I should do.  Do I want to move 250 miles away and to someplace colder with more snow.  Or do I want to wait and see what other positions I can find.  I can probably get a job managing an Sears Auto Center in Nashville and make more money because I know the district manager but at the same time I have no clue how to run an auto center.  So what should I do.  I am driving to Racine Wednesday to spend that day and Thursday in the area to see if I like it. 


Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Once again no posting for a long time.  I just hate writing, it was always my least favorite throughout all my years of school.  My last post was rather depressing and I am actually doing better than ever with the passing of my grandpa and my grandma even though she passed 7 years ago.  I think the reason is that I know they are together again in spirit and gives a sense of closure. 
Next I hate our current government system and the way the world is going.  It seems that it is impossible to get ahead and that no one looks at the big picture anymore.  One example of the impossible to get ahead is that a new calendar year begins and all of a sudden I am making less money, not because of a demotion at work but because someone thought it was a good idea to raise taxes yet again so now I am taxed an additional 2% of my salary.  I know I could pay less and claim a deduction but right now the government takes away 32% of my check.  That is ridiculous, why should I pay more for nothing I use.  When I retire there will be no social security, I have health insurance, and  I don't need welfare nor should I be responsible for lazy people or those who decide to have kids while financially unstable.  I see these lazy ass girls as work, both black and white, that are hardly out of high school and knocked up or already have kids working a $7 an hour job raising kids.  Why should I give up my money for them.  It is not like I can afford to pay more for their mistakes.  I could use that money I pay out in taxes for services I should not be responsible for to eliminate my debts caused by going to college to make a better life for myself.  I know and agree that I need to pay taxes to help pay for services local, state and federal government provides.  What I would prefer is that you pay taxes kind of like utility bills.  You use the roads, pay 1% of your income for that service, public transportation .5%, law enforcement and emergency services 2% and so on.  Yeah I know that would be difficult to ever do but if I saw what my tax dollars were going towards I would feel much better.  I am aware that half of federal tax income goes to the Pentagon but on the state and local level a vast amount is welfare and why.  Are we some socialist nation with a free ride for all no matter their bad decisions, no.  We are a strong capitalist nation, we fend for ourselves and need to instill those values of accountability and personal responsibility into every citizen.  Civil liberties need to be fair for all citizens to give all a equal standing but besides that eliminate the free ride.
Next I know people will say that some people don't have a chance because of the system and are already at a disadvantage but that is bullshit.  There is opportunity for us all, true some people have more negative influences in hold them back but everyone has a hard life in one way or another, the kid in the ghetto has drugs and gangs but at the same time the middle class kid has more money but working parents and left to fend for themselves and disconnect from their family because no attention is paid towards them they are just given money to smooth over the lack of parental involvement.   So the point of this all is fuck increased taxes, give me damn money back, stop all this liberal pussy bullshit and get back to the root of system of government.  Let's go libertarian and reduce the central government to a skeleton.
And yeah life is going good I guess, my job is good and I am about done with training.  My nine month program ends in April so now I have to apply for a new position as a store manager somewhere.  Not sure if I want to stay in Indy or not.  I know what position I want to go into now.  I want to become a brand central manager which is the manager of home appliances and electronics.  So much easier than clothing or hardware because you have larger items so much less moving a bunch of little crap and well I am just not gay enough to be an apparel manager.  Eventually I do want to move into the corporate office setting but the more store experience I have the more valuable I am at the corporate level and the higher my salary will be.  After my rant about higher taxes at least I am guaranteed about a $6,000 raise when I get a new position out of training.  Then more taxes taken out and the cycle begins again. 


Monday, November 26, 2007

Why is it when life seems to be looking up that bad things always seem to happen.  I have been getting better at my job and just started the last part of my managerial training by running my own area of the store, electronics manager for the next four months.  My boss and co-workers all like me, whenever a family member is in there they brag about me to them.  Social life is good and making new friends in Indianapolis and been on quite a few dates, even one guy really interested in.  And then something bad happens.  My grandpa died Saturday night.  He was doing just fine, no major medical problems but he just randomly died, the nursing home said that he started to refuse to eat for four days but I would think it would take more than that to do him in.  But now he is dead at the age of 83, he was the last relative of his generation of mine, the head of the Beck family and now there is just my dad, brother and I.  I guess I should look on the bright side that he is in heaven now with my grandma but it is hard to do, hard not to be sad.  I need to try and move on past the lost but I am never good processing emotions, my grandma died nearly eight years ago and sometimes when I am alone and think of her I still tear up a bit and I am doing the same now about my grandpa.  Maybe I need to go talk to someone about it.  I don't really know but I do know he will be missed and I will always have a reminder of the day.


Monday, October 15, 2007

The suburbs, how they annoy me so.  My best friend Seth owns a house in the suburbs and I was out there tonight having dinner and drinks with him at a Mexican restaurant and it was so noisy.  There was no loud music playing, the noise was all caused by yuppie parents and their loud undisciplined children.  I know I want children sometime but damn did that annoy the hell out of me.  I could of gone out to any restaurant downtown and it have been quieter, even on musical sing along night at the gay bar.  I think the biggest thing that annoys me about the suburbs are that they are horrible wastes of space adding to the issue of urban sprawl and decay.  I guarantee most of those people work in the city but refuse to live there because for some odd reason they think it isn't safe or that they need their cheaply built four bedroom home in a subdivision to feel safe and gated off from the dangerous world outside.  Of course that is a bunch of bullshit, when I was looking into apartments there is more crime, especially break-ins, in the suburbs than where I live in the city.  And yes the yards are smaller and every shopping convenience in the world isn't just a few blocks away, but do you really need all those cheaply made goods manufacturers convince people that they need.  Sorry if you lived downtown and heaven forbid their isn't a Walmart within 5 miles of where you live.  Try to think beyond the suburban mindset and realize that your subdivision and commuting to work is part of what is ruining our environment, just think about how much good farmland is wasted every year to built more cheaply built houses for commuters, all the strip malls and parking lots, added use of fossil fuels and what all so you can have convenience.  Of course these suburban areas are also part of the problem when it comes to the lack of community that we now experience.  When these people are so afraid of everything and everyone they seclude themselves from the world and no longer feel a connection to the place and people around them.  Look at downtown neighborhoods like mine for example, there are monthly social gatherings for the people in my historic district, I know all my neighbors and I have only lived here a month but lets take my parents, they have lived in the same suburban subdivision for two years and do not know any of their neighbors, no one even came over to say hi when they moved in, yet when I moved here my neighbors had a grill out get together for people to meet.  That is community.  I can leave my doors unlocked hear with no worries, and I actually have forgotten to lock my door for a whole weekend and nothing happened.  I guess there really is no point to this post other than a rant about why suburban living is so destructive in my mind, starting off with a restaurant full of loud and unruly kids.  And well to add one more point I just remembered that bothers me about going into the suburbs, everything is so freaking white-washed.  I walked into a restaurant of probably a hundred people and besides the Mexican restaurant owners and workers everyone was white middle to upper class, dressed pretty much the same in yuppie clothing, the parking lot full of SUVs and of course yellow ribbon stickers on their cars.  Have these people ever heard of diversity, I think not probably because it scares, I bet they drive to their jobs in the city, see a black person or the rainbow flag hanging on the house and think thank god I don't live here.  I mean the black people will rob my house and the gays will convert my children.  Reminds me of our human resources coordinator at my work, she does our diversity training and makes sure we are making the standards of being a equal opportunity employer but when it is just managers she makes comments about how all the black employees we have are lazy and have to watch them for theft and makes fun of our gay department lead.  If these people lived in a diverse area maybe they would open their minds.



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