i guess i expect too much
maybe it would be better to not expect nething that way u wouldnt ever be disappointed?

WARNING...angry rant

so i was walking down michigan ave on my lunch break today. and this lao hei nu ren is walking kinda slow and carrying 2 plastic bags of recently purchased goods. i decide to walk around her cuz i only have so much time to walk around before my boss will wonder where the hell i disappeared to. so i pick up speed and walk around, then in front of her...and a min or less later i hear someone say, "miss!" i ignore it cuz im thinkin,  i dont know neone downtown so they cant be talking to me.  but then i hear it again twice, so i turn around and see that lady and shes talkin to me. i look at her and
she says, "u keep walking in front of me and i try to pass u up but u just keep walking in front of me."
me: "keep? wut do u mean keep? i just walked in front of u not that long ago cuz u were walking slow"
lady: "well im trying to walk around u but u keep getting in my way and im about to trip over ur feet"
me: "u can walk around me. there's a whole sidewalk for u to walk around me." ::i gesture to the huge sidewalk::
lady: "well i cant do that if u keep getting in my way" ::stalks off::
me (to the back of the lady cuz shes walking away) : "wut the hell is ur problem?!?"
::lady stops walking and gives me the dirtiest look:: at this point im getting really pissed cuz who the hell is she to tell me where i can or cant walk.  its downtown (and michigan ave) for cryin out loud. there are so many ppl walking there and u gotta avoid ppl in both directions, so its not like i would purposely walk in front of her. plus i try walkin in a straight line cuz its sorta a pet peeve wen ppl cant walk straight haha.
lady: "u keep fuckin walking in front of me and getting in my way (something like that...i dont remember exactly wut but she was pissed too)"
me: "who the fuck do u think u are? i can walk wherever i want"
lady: "i dont even wanna waste my time talking to u"
me: "its not like i wanna talk to u either" ::lady glares at me::
::we stop at a red light waiting to cross the street::
::lady turns her head sharply, nose up::
then she crosses michigan ave while i continue down michigan ave...thank god or else i wouldve killed her.
i was so ready to beat the crap outta her. i didnt care she was old. i bet she figured, ooh an asian...i can pick on her cuz she wont fight back/cant speak english. her face wuz priceless during most of the convo. she looked shocked and angry at the same time. she probably expected me to be like, "sorry" ::bow:: and walk away. FUCK THAT.

too many angry ppl in the world. i admit i can be very impatient/angry too...need to work on that. i have the worst road rage. =/ my mom was w/me this past weekend and witnessing another episode of my road rage and said "im amazed ur blood pressure isnt higher than wut it is."  i said, "luckily i workout." haha. but i really should try to fix that cuz its not worth getting angry over.

i guess everyone's gotta go thru the first few years of grunt work. or however long it is. i just hope its not tooo long. i don't think i can deal w/it for that long. =(
it's a depressing thought thinking that we'll be working the next 20-30 years. esp. if u dont like ur job.
i spent almost my entire day today reading a book cuz they had no work for me...as fun as it may sound to some ppl...its pretty torturous. time goes by reallllly slowly.

i'm just not ready to grow up. ppl are starting to get engaged/married already. i don't wen i'll be ready to be a mom. right now i just wanna enjoy myself and not have to worry about a family yet. families take a lotta time/commitment and kids are freakin expensive. i guess thats a part of y we exist i guess.

on that subject...im still asking, y were we created? to make babies and love one another? is there a bigger reason. religious ppl would say, we're here to serve god. but wut about the non-believers? wut do they think? i dont see a reason y humans were created.

ever wish u had magic? it would make life so much easier. if we could fly, make a clone of urself so u could spend the day playing while ur clone was at work making money for u. haha. then everyone would do that and it would get boring. ok, well maybe just some ppl could have magic. and they wouldnt use it for bad reasons.  ppl like me. ha. im lazy...i just want the easy way out. unfortunately thats not how life works.

life's never fair. =( the one i want to see most is the one i see least.  long distance sucks. how much longer can i handle it? how many long distance relationships last? i know its diff for every couple. but im scared. im scared of the future.