A LITTLE SOMETHING I CALL REALISTICALLY IDEAL

Edgy, sarcastic, funny, but never degrading or humiliating.
Smart, but not showy.  Intellectual but not stiff.
Charismatic, but not fake.  Engaging.  Alive.
Motivated and driven by a vision for the future.
Laidback.  Warm and inviting.  Comfortable.
Daring and adventurous.  But we needn’t jump from planes.
Let’s engage the cultures and celebrate life.
Fine wines.  Microbrew.  Wouldn’t dare drink beer from a can.
Drink to merriment, but never to detriment.
Music.  Film.  Appreciation for the arts.  Details. Beauty.
Pipe tobacco to sweeten the air.  Just a bit.
Classically stylish, but never flashy or showy.
Not trendy.  But not un-trendy.
Appreciates big cities.  And beautiful cathedrals with beautiful liturgy.
Books.  A learner.  Meaningful conversations.
Knowing at least a little about a lot.  Not boring.
Love of truth.  Love of God.  Love of God’s world.
Environmental, but not crazy. 
Appreciative of the finer things, but not a snob.
Indulgent, but never overdone.  Responsible.
Honest.  Honest.  Honest.
Musical.  Imaginative.  Creative.  Inventive.  Thoughtful.
Hard working.  Not rich, but not poor.
Rich enough to travel.  Poor enough to stay decent.
Loving.  Kind.  But not a pushover.
Dry.  Witty and self-deprecating.  (Sigh.)
Well-studied.  Well-respected.  Well-received.
Kind to mother.  Kind to strangers.  Not too emotional.  Not clingy.
Romantic, but not unrealistic.  Sweet, but not sappy.
Constructive but not critical.  Decisive.  Grounded.
Leader.  Servant.  Companion.  Friend.
Nothing too special to most, but basically perfect to me.

SO THAT NO ONE CAN BOAST

There are about five kids from our church's neighborhood that have been regularly coming to our church for a few months now.  Every time I am around these kids, I'm blown away by the power of the gospel.  The fact that these kids could live in homes where their parents hate God and yet come to a place where they really believe and hunger to learn more and more about Jesus is amazing to me. 

Having been raised in a Christian home, I have no concept of what it might be like to decide to start attending church regularly on my own as a 4th, 5th, or 6th grader.  I took so much for granted when I was that age.  I'm not sure I would have cared.

I had a conversation about cults with one of the boys tonight during VBS.  He was telling me about his neighbors who are Jehovah's Witnesses, and he started to ask me about the differences.  It was interesting that he instinctively knew they were not the same as us, and it was also fun that as a 6th grade boy bred and raised in the public schools, he even cared.  It's evident that God has worked in this boys heart, and it's so amazing that in the midst of all the roadblocks in his life, he's ended up a Christian at so young an age.

Another boy and girl were telling me that their parents would not be attending our special show for the parents on Friday night.  When I asked them why, they started telling me about how their parents don't believe in God and refuse to set foot in a church.  And yet, their kids, who have got to only be about 4th and 5th grade, are regularly at church with us worshiping God.

The most awesome thing of all is that God didn't bring these kids into our church through a program like VBS.  He brought them in on regular Sunday mornings, long Sunday School lessons, hymns, and all.  It didn't take entertainment to win them to Christ, in spite of what most churches today might tell you.  It simply took the faithful preaching and teaching of the Gospel applied by the powerful work of the Holy Spirit.

And it really is amazing to watch.

WE COULD SLIP AWAY, WOULDN'T THAT BE BETTER?

So, summer is basically over for me.  This makes me sad for several reasons, one of which is not the fact that a change in weather is soon to come.  I can't wait for the autumn breeze, the sweaters, the warm scents, and the cozy feeling of it all.  My absolute favorite time of year.

Even my music sounds better in the fall.  It feels better.  Life feels better.  Strange that when everything around me is dying, I feel most alive.

Still, another summer has slipped right by.  I feel wrong about not leaving the country or at least flying across the states.  Some people feel claustrophobic in closets or crawl spaces; I feel claustrophobic in California.  There's a whole world waiting for me, and I'm just kicking it here.  Year after year after year.  It makes me a little anxious, a little antsy, and more than a little crazy. 

I've decided to go to Germany over Spring Break.  I have friends there (really awesome, smart, Lutheran friends), so I'd have a place to stay.  They're right near the borders of Switzerland, Austria, and France, so I would have a few decent day trips, too.  I could go alone, I guess, but I'd prefer to have a travel partner.  If you're interested, let me know.  I'll be getting my ticket pretty soon.  I promise we'll have fun.

VBS has been an interesting experience.  Our church has never had a VBS before this year.  I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I volunteered to lead the whole thing.  It's been a HUGE project--one that I didn't really have time for.  But it's also been a great experience for me, and it's given me yet another lifetime goal; I'm going to write my own VBS curriculum, complete with chanted Psalms.  Oh, yes.

We had our opening session on Saturday, and we'll be continuing the program every night this week.  The thing that makes it all worthwhile for me is that we have a few neighborhood kids attending.  I love watching these kids, seeing them soak up the lessons and light up when they get to participate in some of the other activities.  I know we're doing a good thing for them, and I hope what they're learning really stays with them for a long time.

This week we start staff training.  Official notificaton that summer is over and school is here to stay.  My summer is gone, and I hardly even saw it. 

WE ARE SOMEWHERE AND IT'S NOW

The other day (on the way back from the worldview conference in Santa Cruz), I was telling some of my former students that occasionally I get the feeling that I've regressed since college.  And I think I have at least in a few ways.  It's become more difficult to keep my mind sharp because I'm not surrounded all the time with the same intellectual community I had there (well, at least within my smaller groups of friends).  It's not as easy to pick up a book or go to a conference as it was back then.  It's not even as easy to find someone to talk with about certain subjects.  People are busy.

Andrea's post, which I really enjoyed, reminded me of a few other thoughts as well.

She talked about how easy it would be to be stuck going and going and going and never doing.  Sometimes I get the feeling that all I do is go.  And as I get that feeling, I begin to long for academia again.  But as I look back on my life, I can see so many small experiences and accomplishments, that I begin to realize the training was for the doing...as much as I don't really like to realize it.

Academia, by and large, is an unrealistic world.  It allows us to be free of many of life's daily responsibilities and burdens while we focus mainly on learning and growing.  If we do it too little we miss out on the opportunity to really marvel at the depth and richness of God's goodness to us...but if we do it too long, we develop this false understanding of what reality is supposed to be like.  We start to get the idea that the learning is what it's all about.  But it isn't.  The learning is primarily (not entirely, mind you) for the doing.  As much as I hate it, it's true.

We go to Kindergarten so we can go to elementary school.  We go to elementary school so we can go to junior high.  We go to junior high so we can go to high school.  We go to high school so we can go to college.  We go to college so we can either find a decent job after we're done or realize we still need more training for what we want to do.  We don't go to college so we can stay in college (unless, of course, we're called to teach or research as a profession).

I think the reason so many people want to go back to college is because it reminds us of simpler times.  It reminds us of a freedom we miss.  A wide open feeling we now lack.  It reminds us of all the possibilities of life.  All the options. 

Cultures don't usually focus on the arts until they're in enough a place of leisure that they're able.  And I think academia allows us the sort of leisure that bursts open our creative sides.  We have the time and generally the ideal locations to really reflect on life and society in a way that we might never have again.  For a person who feels like she's supposed to be creative, the daily going of life after college sometimes begins to feel a bit stifling.  No time to think or make anything worthwhile.

But at the same time, I think what we were supposed to learn through our education is how to tap into our gifts and talents and use them in our daily lives for God's glory.  And while it might look and feel a bit different now than it did back then, when I really look at my life, I realize that I am using my creativity through the brochures I design, the ideas I think up, and even the way I keep my house.  None of these are as glamorous as I would have hoped my creativity might be, but they are all practical ways in which I use my gifts and talents in my vocations.

By the time we're done with high school or college, we should have figured out the part about being lifelong learners.  We don't need a course or a teacher to teach us everything.  If we've been taught to think, we can really continue to teach ourselves for the rest of our lives.  This simply requires discipline.  Seeking out knowledge.  Setting aside the time. 

And so, I'm back to the same basic dilemma.  I miss academia.  I really do desire to keep going.  To get my Ph.D.  To do something BIG.  But it's difficult to know whether a desire is something worth pursuing.  Will it really help me anymore in the things I'm called to do?  Or will it simply hold me back from getting things done that need doing?  It's a hard call.

As individuals we're not all called to do BIG things.  Most of us are called to do very small things, which, when combined along with the faithful work of all our other brothers and sisters, make a decent dent in the world over time.

It's not very glamorous, but I'm afraid it's life.

SPEAKING OF REFORMED...

If this is Reformed, I'm not.  I will post more on this later.

HT: Seth Stark