kauristy's Xanga

Friday, January 04, 2008

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 23:46:34 GMT

The Rose

Some say Love it is a river,
that drowns the tender reed.
Some say Love it is a razor,
that leaves the soul to bleed.
Some say Love it is a hunger,
an endless, aching need.
I say Love it is a flower,
and you it's only seed.

It's the heart, afraid of breaking,
that never learns to dance.
It's the dream, afraid of waking,
that never takes a chance.
It's the one who won't be taken,
who cannot seem to give.
And the soul, afraid of dyin',
that never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely,
and the road has been too long,
and you think that Love is only,
for the lucky and the strong,
just remember in the winter,
far beneath the bitter snow,
lies a seed that with the sun's Love,
in the spring becomes the rose.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8RxA5aQ3uM&feature=related

Monday, July 23, 2007

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 00:58:43 GMT

OMG I WANT THE HARRY POTTER PC GAME SOO BADLY!!!!!!

ANYONE KNOWS HOW TO GET ONE???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 03:03:13 GMT

I'm Your Angel
~ Celine Dion & R. Kelly

No mountain's too high for you to climb
All you have to do is have some climbing faith
No river's too wide for you to make it across
All you have to do is believe it when you pray

And then you will see the morning will come
And every day will be bright as the sun
All of your fears cast them on me
I just want you to see

CHORUS:
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone I'm here
No matter how far you are I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel, I'm your angel

I saw your teardrops and I heard you cry
All you need is time
Seek me and you shall find
You have everything and you're still lonely
It don't have to be this way
Let me show you a better day

And then you will see the morning will come
And all of your days will be bright as the sun
So all of your fears just cast them on me
how can I make you see?

CHORUS

And when it's time to face the storm
I'll be there by your side

Grace will keep us safe and warm
And I know we will survive

And when it seems as if your end is drawing near
Don't you dare give up the fight
Just put your trust beyond the sky...

CHORUS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNFSrqDpHmM
*the visual sucks, so as i can't find anything else, i'd advise you're better off just listening to the song and ignoring the video*

Monday, April 02, 2007

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 04:13:48 GMT

btw for some warped reason the stupid format came out all retarded but i dunno how to fix it so plz bear with it

many happy returns of the day

to the dearest, sweetest, best

person and friend on earth:

wishing you have a wonderful

birthday, a wonderful 18, and

may everything in your life glitter

and sparkle just like sweet 18

should!

*btw, so, so, sorry i can't give your pressie to you today, dont want to give you incomplete crappy stuff so you'll just have to forgive me and wait till the whole wonderful amazing fantastic gorgeous complete wow thing is out from the oven :P

LOVE YOU DAPHNE!!!!!!!!

*colony of loves

Friday, March 23, 2007

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 23:38:07 GMT

I'm so glad i learned something:

Spill the beans to your Friends.

There used to be so many things i just decided to stuff within myself and secretly be unhappy/ frustrated over, but i guess that's over now. You think they probably won't care, but they do; you think it wont make a difference to say it, but it does- you'll feel a lot better. you think they can't do much for you about it anyway, but they can- they offer you good advice.

Just a random thing that a friend mentioned can change your life.

but then, i guess there are still some things that should be kept secrets.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 10:09:28 GMT

I NEARLY

DIED

TODAY.

I nearly lost my life today.

It happened when i was walking back home in south horizons from the ap lei chau bus terminal. I've just been to the post office to deal with mailing a special birthday gift for a friend. I was walking along a round-about which was made of a rather small circle. It wasn't technically speaking a road but there can be cars, but usually not. I stepped out a few steps and suddenly, this huge car just SWERVED right at me at TOP SPEED. Since it was a roundabout...well, you can imagine. If you asked how i felt at that time...honestly speaking, i just remembered being completely taken by surprise - it's just like the car came from nowhere. It's not like i rushed out suddenly to the road or anything and altho i wasn't looking left and right and left i wasn't exactly daydreaming, just walking normally. I only remember seeing a big, white private car coming from my left and right up to my front.

You know when you watch TV, those car accident scenes or ship crash scenes or avalanche scenes, the people just stand there stunned and don't move? And you'd think: what's wrong with you? This is so stupid- as if anyone wouldn't run away in reality!''. Well, only today did i know that THAT WAS THE TRUTH. When i saw the car coming RIGHT TOWARDS ME, i just couldn't move at first. I felt frozen on the spot, wide eyed, disbelieving, stunned. It's like i can't believe that the car wouldn't stop. But I have never, in my life, seen a driver that, when seeing a girl that is standing just 5 FEET AWAY right in front, DIDN'T STOP, but instead SPEEDED UP AND KEPT RIGHT ON. It all happened in such a moment. Realization came rushing back and shook me. Instinctively I gave off one of the highest and most piercing screams ever heard in my life, a short, geniune shrill scream of shock without any thinking needed. The body's natural reaction without my permission. I mustered the energy to LEAP, and i mean LEAP, out of the car's way JUST IN TIME. It was just

1 FOOT AWAY FROM ME.

When I glanced the driver right in the face through the winshield as he passed me by, it was like slow motion. It was a man's face. The look I gave him was one of not-yet-recovering-from-the-shock and fear. His look was plain COLD and EXPRESSIONLESS. It's the sort of look that you would give when you are staring at a bug stuck to your shoe and it is in your way. The driver sped away, unapologetic.

I wouldn't exaggerate and say that my life flashed before my eyes or smth. I was surprisingly emotionless. What did flash through my mind was the clear, simple voice that said, '' I can't make it in time. The car is just 1 foot away from me and I cannot possibly get out of harm's way in time. I am going to die. I am going to die like this. Is this how everyhting is going to end?'' You know in 王子變青蛙, the scene where 單均昊 got hit by a car? It may soung wierd, but this scene popped into my mind. The bright, white headlights. The car was a vivid WHITE. I had no idea it would be so...large. So WIDE. So.. right in my face. Like sitting right before a large, rectangular dining table that seemed to stretch out sideways for very very far.

Everyone in HK has more or less, daydreaming, wandered out on the road and had some close calls with speeding cars in their lives. But it is an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT FEELING when you GENUINELY and TRULY THOUGHT that you ARE GOING TO GET HIT and are going to DIE.

So this is what it's like thinking that you are going to die.

The first real emotion after a NUMBED shock..was ANGER. It was one of the most angry moments in my life. The driver didn't even give me so much as widened eyes. He saw me, did not stop, and SPED UP AND DROVE RIGHT AT ME, with absolutely NO hint of remotely SLOWING DOWN. What's the hurry? What could psosibly be so in need of haste that he had to swerve right throught the roundabout and even bang into a girl if that is what it takes? He could have run right over me and passed on. He had absolutely no sign of being apologetic but instead stared blankly at me as if i'm something stuck in the bottom of his shoe. I had a really strong impulse to note down the driver's plate no. and call the police. But i didn't in the end. There was just no point. There is not much evidence, I can't even describe clearly what place I am, and everything's just going to be a muddle. And most importantly, I am going to give this driver a second chance. I will forgive him. I'm not pretending to be great. I just don't see any point in kicking up a big fuss. I was so upset at the UNFAIRNESS of it all TEARS JUST RAN DOWN MY CHEEKS. Tears of anger and shock. I had no idea where they came from but i just couldn't control it. It's like nobody cared. The driver didn't give a shit. All the people nearby did was just look in my direction when i gave off that blood-curdling scream. And the world would not stop. People bustled by. I still had to walk home.

But then the second thought that rushed into my mind was: RELIEF. Disbelief at my luckiness. I COULD REALLY HAVE DIED RIGHT THEN AND THERE. The end of my 17 years of life. Even if not, I would very probably have lost a leg or an arm. Visions of people being ''sucked'' right under the borrom of the car, with only half of their body seen, lyring there..I've seen them. Handicapped for the rest of my life. Distorted face.

Yet here I am, not a single hair out of place, clothes not even dirtied. I am still healthy and whole, living and breathing.

WHAT MORE CAN I ASK FOR?

When i once heard people talking about how flower pots had fallen from high above and crashed on the ground right in front of them, and then they say they have to thank God for it, I thought they were added in only as an afterthought. Somehting to preach others with. But now, i realized that one of the first thoughts that came to my mind was the rush of gratitude at my blessings. It's more than luck. I am grateful to have God watching over me and keeping me out of harm's way. And what i did right then and there, was to thank God in my heart.

I used to have these ''if'' situational contemplations. I thought before, if I were to die, how would i feel?

不甘心. I won't be satisfied with just 17 short years. I still have many big, big dreams that i haven't fulfilled yet. Not being able to live on would be missing out all the colours of life that i could have experienced.

So what does it matter, who's right and who's wrong in this incident? What does it matter that the driver is a humungous jerk? What does it matter that no one got their deserved punishment? What does it matter that I temporarily feel angry and I feel shocked and I feel unhappy? THESE ARE SUCH SMALL THINGS COMPARED TO the whole, big universe of LIFE itself. The thing that mattered the most is that I AM FINE, I AM OKAY. I should FEEL HAPPY and grateful that I SURVIVED, and I didn't so much as get a scratch on my face. I WAS GIVEN THE CHANCE TO LIVE ON, TO TREASURE THINGS IN LIFE, TO PAINT COLOURS OF MY FUTURE in the years and years to come. I SITLL HAVE A VERY MUCH LIVING, BREATHING, FEELING SOUL.

Treasure life. Treasure chances. Treasure opportunities. Paint your life as colourful as you can with the time you have. Love others and feel loved .Don't let anyone come to you without letting them go away HAPPIER. Human beings are so overly confident with themselve that they often forget how fragile life is.

Some things in life...you just need to let it go. Is it worth spending all that time and effort in feeling upset about these things? No. Life is too precious for us to waste time in weaving webs of unhappiness.

ENJOY LIFE.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 10:56:26 GMT

you know one thing i HATE about xanga entries?

it's that people have this warped frenzy to become poets and emotional, impressive writers. they begin to use fantastical and flowery languages, releasing torrents of supressed and oh so moving and deep emotions. they have these deep reflections and it's as if they see throught everything and all the meaning in life. it just does not occur to them that it would be fine if a person just talked like a normal person when typing an entry. no, no, no, in xanga, it is a place for romanticism, a place to seem like someone different, a place to release that masked, deep, dark, mysterious person veiled in life, a place to impress.

i have absolutely nothing against doing meaningful reflections and speaking out new insights. it's good. it's just that when a person goes too far, overdoing it, it becomes exaggerated and PRETENTIOUS.

you don't have to have an obligation to try so hard to be IMPRESSIVE on PURPOSE in xanga, you know. for goodness sake, it's just a site.

has it ever occured to you that it could not only be annoying but extremely hurtful as well? maybe next time you have some wonderous thoughts and insights on how deep and dark this world is and how you alone are dealing with the forces of evil and how every one else in this world are just unimportant scurrying ants passing by, think again. maybe a lot other people have their own worries too. maybe you don't have the right to complain at all because your situation is just not that terrible as you make it out to be. maybe you should stop sounding like a spoiled brat disguised as a depressed poet and start acting like a normal person. maybe you should stop thinking that the sorry world revolves around you and start looking out for other people; stop living in your own enclosed little world and start paying more attention to other people's needs. maybe you should show some consideration and sensitivity for other people's feelings. maybe you should just get a life, get a grip, get over it, get over yourself, and SNAP OUT OF IT.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Fri, 26 Jan 2007 10:16:13 GMT

wow, tears come down your face when you're angry even faster than when you're sad.

It is also proven that it is possible to see a person and end up in tears nearly every single time.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 09:34:24 GMT

from ticklet tests (thx Steph these are really fun)

****

Mellissa ( =Joyce), your best quality shines through in how Creative you are

The fact that you're an inventive and creative person who usually has an abundance of imagination and ideas really draws people to you! But that's not the only thing. Your answers on the test indicate you're a smart person who is more able to understand complex concepts than many other people are. You are a funny person who is likely known for your great sense of humor, too.

In all, there are 15 qualities that help define you when you're at your best. Those are the traits potential employers, friends, and partners look for in you. What makes you unique is your particular distribution of those 15 qualities.

We've found that your particular combination of qualities is rare ?only 1 in 10,000 people (*what?!??!)share the same general mix of traits. Those are great odds if you're trying to show a potential employer, colleague, friend, or date why you're exactly the right person for them.

Watch out! Insecurities and character weaknesses can spell trouble in your personal life and career. Don't let it happen to you. Find out how all your qualities work together to make you uniquely great in your personalized, 23-page Best Qualities Report. It's ready right now!

*****

OH MY GOSH THIS IS SOOOOOOOOO FREAKY TRUE!!! so true so true so true so true

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 06:11:45 GMT

OH MY GOD WANG ZI BIAN QING WA IS OFFICIALLY THE MOST ROMANTIC TV EPISODE EVER EXISTED IN THIS WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE BESSSST DRAMA SERIES! EVER! EVERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING SOOOO CUTE AND FUNNY? OR ANYTHING SOOOO UNBELIEVABLY ROMANTIC?

OMG I JUST CANNOT TAKE MY EYES OF MING DAO - HAVE ONCE AGAIN FALLEN HOPELESSLY AND OBSESSIVELY IN LOVE WITH HIM -HELP ME! BESIDES BEING ONE OF THE COOLEST/ CUTEST GUY EVER LIVED ON EARTH, HE'S LIKE ONE OF THE BEST ACTORS EVER, AND HE IS JUST SOOOOOOO ADORABLY CUTE!!!! JUST WANT TO MELT INTO A PUDDLE THEN AND THERE -OOOOOOOH

You know something else? I was getting skeptical about love for a while before. And then I watched frog prince again.

...It made me regain faith in true love.