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| hey guys, this is gonna be the last entry i'm gonna put up. it's been fun while it lasted, but it's too much trouble to write and post. cheerio, everyone! | | |
| yay!!!!! i'm back!!!!!
some random thoughts i had while in paris/athens:
- i mean, seriously... could my bathroom BE any smaller?
- why do they put street names on buildings, and building names on street signs?
- lol... for all the hatred the french have for america, my hotel's e-mail address is hotelermitage@aol.com
- i met this crazy guy who assaulted all the asians he could find with japanese... he walked up to me randomly and yelled "konbanwa!" after we were done with our convo, he crossed the street and yelled the same thing at this other asian lady. she, however, was not as friendly as i and literally ran away from him. 
- my oh MY... their trains (subway and commuter rail) run sooooooo smoothly
- they have no american channels on tv, but they DO have a french american idol on which they sing english songs... and guess what? alicia keyes was the guest star on june 3! i watched it from my hotel room!
- man, these europeans... i got frisked for the first time in the french airport... i mean, do i LOOK like a terrorist? (don't answer that... and no, they did NOT do a cavity search, just fyi...)
- french painters... can you find the odd woman out?
- and the ULTIMATE, BEST PAINTING IN FRANCE!!!
- and apparently in athens, a solid white line by the side of the road means "drive the middle of your vehicle over this line..." that's also why they have wide road shoulders...
but i still had fun!!! | | |
| bleah  | | |
| For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition
and health, and it's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting
medical studies:
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the
Canadians, British or Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than
the Canadians, British or Americans.
3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks
than the Canadians, British or Americans.
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer
heart attacks than the Canadians, British or Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and
suffer fewer heart attacks than the Canadians, British or Americans.
6. Ukrainians drink a lot of vodka, eat a lot of perogies, cabbage rolls
and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Canadians, British or Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Apparently what kills you is
speaking English. | | |
| THINGS ONLY A MOM CAN TEACH
My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION :
"Just wait until your father gets home."
My Mother taught me about RECEIVING :
"You are going to get it when we get home!"
My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE :
"What were you thinking? Answer me when
I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"
My Mother taught me LOGIC :
"Because I said so, that's why."
&
"If you fall out of that swing and break
your neck, you're not going to the store
with me."
My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE :
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes,
they are going to freeze that way."
My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD :
"If you don't pass your spelling test,
you'll never get a good job."
My Mother taught me ESP :
"Put your sweater on; don't you think
I know when you're cold?"
My Mother taught me HUMOR :
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
don't come running to me."
My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT :
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never
grow up."
My Mother taught me about SEX :
"How do you think you got here?"
My Mother taught me about GENETICS :
"You're just like your father."
My Mother taught me about my ROOTS :
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"
My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE :
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."
My Mother taught me about JUSTICE :
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn
out just like you. Then you'll see what it's like."
My mother taught me RELIGION :
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL :
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you
into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me FORESIGHT :
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case
you're in an accident."
My mother taught me IRONY :
"Keep crying and I'll *give* you something to cry
about."
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS :
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM :
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about STAMINA :
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."
My mother taught me about WEATHER :
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS :
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you,
would you listen then?"
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times :
Don't Exaggerate!!!"
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE :
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION :
"Stop acting like your father!"
My mother taught me about ENVY :
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this
world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!" | | |
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