| Xanga is kinda like a frd to me cz i almost update it everyday. i talk about wha happen each dai pplz said i wrote a lot all the time but they are stuff that happen to me or that i will need speak out. i know some of u wotn read what i put up only leave eprops but dont really read them.if just u eprops me than i eprops u back there are no point for usin xanga.some of u might know a lot about me . some of u dont even know me .^^ i'm gonna start sharin my life (love) for those who dont know me.. alwayz tho i;m a playa or what ever but i use my hole heart to love each one of them..is gonna be very long so if u cant read the whole thing.u should stop it right here cz is very long and i might need to finish it up each day more and more.
When i was young everybody love me, like to play with me and stuff cz i'm the first daughter ..the first one always get what they want. Gp, Gm aunts, uncles every one love me. my Gm take care of me when i was babii to like 3 ..cz my dad need to work and my mom love to travel around england and canada.I grow up in those places that pplz go to eachothers houses to play and sleep over. always run around to look for games.so much fun. swim make food, play ghoest game. burn grass and flower, walk the dogs lot and lot more. i miss the young time. i was still in Hong kong.i was a meanie. maybe i'm the first one they all love me so i am so mean.i cant believe i use to hit my gp in da face lol.but i can see that i started to change cz of this guy~~ when i was in 1st grade he wrote me a letter, i open it , it said I LOVE you with pictures inside. i was kinda happy but that was like just a frdz cz i was very young to feel or know anything about love. me and him always play together in school, hehe He always buy me drinks. he get me a gift for my b-day from 1st g till 4th g. beacuse of all this our parent started to talk and know eachother.but when i think about it is just a very simple frdshipz btw a male and female. but is all different wheni get to 4th grade. This guy is the most handsome one out of the whole 4th grade. he got a older bro that is hotter.kinda very famous. he was datin my frd tell her I love YOu out loud. i was kinda sad, cz i liked him... i 4got how we started but we became very frdz(we are in the same class) talk on the phone everydai, one day they broke up . he dump her. i ask him why..he said cz he love someone else. i ask him who ? he was very flowert heart. he tell me who he love from 1 to 10!! I was suprised'.i'm the first one. he didnt know that i like him.he told me to be his Gf at first i thought it is all fake, it cant be, he wont like me. but when we talk everyday he kept sayin he love me. and kept telling everyone. i kinda wanna tell him i love u too but i didnt instend. i told him you're very flower haet. you love them girls. that is not love.~you think u can give up all of them and only be with me?~! he answer me with an yes and prove it to me. he stop playing with girls one day we went out he gold my hand for the first time. we walk around the parkm he said i love u face to face for da first time. and i tell him too. we became bf & gf but the whole school know.girls in my class kinda get mad at me or something that i'm his Gf they stop being frd with me. yup i was happy and lucky cz i was with him he is nice and stuff but at the same time is hard. all my frdz left me, nothing is perfect i got him but lost my frdz. i didnt care cz that is love. i got him that is enough that is love dont care what ppl think as long as u love him and happy. cz of him i wasnt the mean little girl nomore. i know what SHy mean. my face can turn red,my heart can pround fast. we go to school together everyday we always shop and eat after school. and it was my first time smoking, he light up one put it in him mouth, told me to try it, i did and it is very sink i didnt like it, so i didnt smoke after all. then one day i got the news we need to move to usa (ny) i didnt wanna go cz i noe i wont see him again. i tld him that and we meet for the one last time.he gave me this thing which i still have it now.and said good bye to eachother.when i get to the airport. i was on the phone with him he said he'll be sad but wont cry cz he is a man. by than i know it was the end. the end for both of us i got to Ny everthing was new. at the beggining i didnt like it. cz of al my frdz and HIm. i wrote letters to him but never got one back, the first year we still talk on the phone . we new that nothing can brings us back. need to face the truth . after all i hear he is datin this girl i let my tears fall. think back to the time we had.but i wish and i hope that girl can bring him happness and love. and now i havnt see or talk to him about 3 or 4 years lu. so here in NY 5th grade. one chiense guy like me but ididnt really talk to him so idont know him much yet. i didnt like him till 6th grade.. i started with a spanish guy in 6th g.he is my first one in NY he can say is the most handsome one all of the class.he was very sweet. buy me ice- cream almost everyday.how we started? he passed me a note sayin me pretty wanna know me and stuff.so ya.his familt was very nice.so we sometime go to the movie together.eheh still remember we was very shy to hug. everyday in class we ask the teacher for bothroom pass to the stair caze and hug.. i gave him my first tightly hug with love. after the 1st time offcoz there will me 2nd 3rd 4th etc.he buy m e giftz for my b-day and x'mas we were together for like about one year.on 2/14 he was late to school i tho he wont come but he did , with a pink rose one hand and a pink/red bag on the other hand fill with love shaped candle, card,candy, his pic,and a brea sayin i love u. he gave it to me. it was my fist Val-day gift.it was wounderful.7th grade is comin we both get to a differ school.didnt talk nomore. by the way in the time btw me and him . we broke up got bak broke up got bak.i meet this guy who told me he love me scn the first day of 6th g.but he know i love this spanish guy so he kept the feeling to himself.till we broke up.so we went to the same school i strated with him from the begging of 7th grade, i guess we were too shy to talk or anything. it just didnt work out .7th grade meet a guy i really really in love with, in da same class. i did everthing for him that i had never try it be4 like write iloveu a hounred times , write his name fill with the space on the paper, all this crazy stupid thing, but i didnt get anythnig back,he fall in love with tis girl. that time i still love him but i gave up is already the truth he had a gf. i stop talking to him till now. cz we didnt talk,me feeling toward him are gone.this other spanish guy, started with him in 7th grade first time kiss on the face but it is not the Fisrt kiss on the mouth. Borke~`7th grade summer.meet this guy who took my first kiss away didnt know him that long 1st day meet eachother, talk .2nd dai talk on da phone,3rd dai come out ~`hold hand walk around main st went in to Xin xin a computer room hallway and my first kiss gone. cant explan how that feel he felt my heart beat very fast. i didnt know howto kiss i guess he teaches me. we kiss for about 15 to20 mins dont really remember.after that all i noe is my mouth is fill wih his.....mixed together.never 4get ! 4th day broke up. he fly back to where he live, never see eachother again.i still got the pic we took. i new he play me .No body will like to get play by anyone. so off coz he hurt me.than this guy come out, he was in 9th g when i;m in 7th g so is kinda big. we were in da same school, got the know eachother almost the end of the school year. we started to hang out . he told me to be happy he was there for me when i need somone.we started to talk everyday he was nice. he like to rap and i love to sing.^^ we came out to play water ballnoon fight in da summer. with my frd and his frdz. that was my first day get to know all these people.that are all older than me -.- is like i'm the little girl there. i need to go to the summer camp for 4dais. when the day be4 i go he told me that he think he like me and i told him i think i like him too he rally did make me like him he is always there when i need. 4dais didnt talk to him. i told him to e-mail me has to be 7 letters. he did it ! he share his feelnig. he asked me why 7 e-mails. and i told him...cz it was the 7th dai sc we meet and it is the 7th dai when he said i love u. one week ,,, we know eachother one week than...and i was in 7th grade.lol. in that summer i really did had fun with him and always happi! then one day when we come out to play water fight again he though that i love his frdz which is a big mistake. and i dpnt think he listen to me when i explan.. so he dump me ..with him. was my first time go to KTv... kinda miss the time when he sing. he told me to be frd but off coz that cant be truth . we didnt became frd . we just stop talknig to eachother. when we came out to hang out with other frdz . we see eachother but we just perten we didnt know eachother.remember in ktv playin with the finguers ,,heeh turth or dare in the lib. kiss in da face still remember all of da. but passed is passed. after the summer movin on to 8th g.~~this guy i kinda like from the first day cz of the way he walk ? his back? his hair ? he everything ? but i never be brace enough to look at him in da face. nobody know that i like him and stuff. at the time when i kinda give up kinda 4get about him . this news came to me form other guyz cant believe but cz of some reasona cant be together. i only kept this in my heart. cz of something ..end up with nothing. that was about 3months.that i liked him. This guy one of the frd used to play water fight with. sayin all these stuff like i wanna fuck u .and stuff.and a few times when we go out he make me like him i started to like him eventho i know he is playin me. that day we meet in the lib and guess waht my 2nd time kiss in da mouth gave it to him. it was cold very cold that day but cz of the heat of the bodies is warn . and than ya stop talkin, like we didnt kno eachother. the END. as u can see all of them drump me never ever did i said broke up (maybe one or twice) but ~~~~~~~~~~ I was tired is just oo much form the passed. i thnik i had enough this other guy which i love the most appear! but he was also the one who hurt me the most. cz when u fall so deep u hurt deep.but i guess that is love i'm the kinda girl that fall for everything easily i trust pplz very easily2. exspeally the boi i love. i kinda like done something bad for the first time with him i wanna see him so badly that i cut school that was my first time cuttin. once there are first time off coz u will wanna cut again. we ere together not that long but my school grade drop very badly i mean my test grade and stuff. when i'm doing hw he pop up in my mind. wheni get home from school. i will call him, online, eat, at night i'll call him and talk on the phone dont even wanna do my Hw. love is very strong very powerful .. i learn from him . not to trust cz all their promisz are lie (like i wont leave u ) cz 4ever doesnt existed once they know u fall that deep they know u wont leave them so they do all the things to hurt u than drump u . my frd told me when a guy say sorry dont listen cz they dont mean it. even i had cry for him i know that nothing can bring him back. i just miss the time i spend with him i was happi i was sweet however it was like a dream. when is time to wake up i has to eventho i dont wanna and u couldnt be frdz after all . u will just stop talking to eachother........Now this other one...who i'm very happy to be with ... he always make me laugh... but one day he told me he got this girl in his mind.. and give him time to 4get about her, things change... we didnt talk no the phone like we used to ....and now..? donno. ....
Never ask the return of love it is not selfish ... some time i had done a lot but i got nothing back.however, is worth it. so that is love ?
The end of my growin up... all these pplz once in my heart........
|
