| | thanks to my beloved susque friend, laura, i remembered i can one of these. i completely forgot about it. its funny how nothing at all has changed. well, sort of. i'm still not sure about myself and i'm still stuck in my world with paintbrushes and daydreams. i havnt figured myself out anymore than i had before, so i'm still stuck exactly where i am. i'm learning not to mind it so much. yes. delicious ambiguity. ambiguity leaves room for adventures and failure...and i love adventures and goodness knows i fail alot. so last marchish when i last wrote in here i was still going through alot. that situation got worse and worse. it came to a climax during the summer, died down, then it would come up again and kill me. thankfully, a new distraction (a handsome distraction) came into my life and helped with that situation. however, that situation always comes up, right when everything seems to be going well. i guess its my own fault for not being assertive and doing what needs to be done. but the thing is, what i need to do is what i've been advised not to do, but not doing it makes it come up again and again! i'm planning on this december being the end of it. we'll see if it works. its truely sad to see how things havnt changed at all. except that i have my significant other now who i love. although i'm still completely confused and bewildered, i am absolutely and completely happy. the situation does bring me down, but my best friend and my boyfriend keep me smiling. i know this thing makes me sound unhappy, but i'm really not. i am so happy right now. being confused is okay, as long as i have the two people i cant live without. i'm just so happy. |
| | Posted 12/14/2007 7:12 PM - 8 views - 1 comments
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