So...this break has been different. I haven't worked but I've really enjoyed my time to just chill. This morning, I've spent the past 1/2 hour or so reading everyone's xanga entries and thinking about things. Before last semester ended I wrote a paper on the ONE campaign. Although I probably learned about it through a biased stand point for my paper, it was through their own website, my support of the campaign grew tremendously the more I learned about it. I realized I have this passion for our world's nations. I think I've known that for a while. At first I thought it was just a passion that all humans have....a passion for helping others. How could you see something terrible happening to someone and not feel some sort of sympathy or pain. Like the movie Hotel Rwanda...incredible movie. Although it is a pretty biased movie and does not show the other side of things very well it still has truth in it. Most likely others feel this sympathy but I feel it is too great to not spend my life acting on. The problem is...what do I do with it? That's the big question. I like to think huge...but what does huge look like?

Being home is wierd again. It gives me mixed feelings. I see and spend time with the people I love so much....my friends here are incredible and this is home to me....but I feel out of place...still. This is how I felt this past summer...it's so nice to be here and see everyone...playing cards with my family and laying on the floors of houses just talking with my friends...but I feel like my place is somewhere else....other than Louisville Kentucky. It's so hard for me to say this because I never thought I would have such an amazing home to come back to. This home grew through my childhood to become what it is but I feel like it took the biggest leap to becoming home my senior year. Maybe I'm wrong and maybe I'll end up back here I don't know...but at this point in time I feel like my eyes have caught a glimpse of a bigger picture and it would be wrong to narrow them back to just this small place that I call home. I don't know....I never know.

Hey, so I haven't written an entry in forever. I miss it. I miss writing down random thoughts. When you don't do it in a while and then you come back to it, it's like you just skim the surface. You don't really write you're actual thoughts. I think it's like when you meet up with someone you haven't talked to in a while. Now, there are those people who, it appears, you can catch up right where you left off. But then, most people, it's like you just make small talk....have surface level conversation when you meet up with them again.

Random...anyways.....I'm ready for Christmas break. I had a stressful 10 hours yesterday. I was stupid and waited until the last minute to do my Physics poster project. It was due at 9:00 last night and I didn't turn it in until 8:45. I went to go buy dinner after I turned it in b/c I hadn't eaten since 11....as I was driving I started thinking....wow...I could just get onto the interstate and go home. I had been really stressed with a lot of things yesterday and I really was tempted to just get on the interstate. I actually thought about it. I ended up pushing that temptation aside and I went back to Siler and ate my dinner, still in a pretty bad mood and a bad attitude. I ended up playing Taboo with some people and it made my day. I didn't realize how much I was missing laughter in my day until then.

"Airplane"

In an airplane
I take the window seat
A thousand feet
And all I know shrinks in minutes
And when the sky is gray
I want to believe
That when the sun is hiding
It still exists

In an airplane
Are kings and common men
At the window side my side
Their view is now the same
Some relax and rest their eyes
Some sit on the edge
As we all break through the clouds
Into the light of day

Mountain tops peak through
This is where I see you
I've never seen a clearer blue
This is where I see you

Leave behind your busy life
All you have is who you are
Space like this is hard to find
So breathe it in
Someone will say, "Where are you headed?"
And it might be the first time
You ever thought about it

Mountain tops peak through
This is where I see you
I've never seen a clearer blue
This is where I see you

A baby's talking two rows behind me
The sun just set for the second time today
You seem to use the smallest things around me
To get me to this place

Mountain tops peak through
This is where I see you
I've never seen a clearer blue
This is where I see you
-Bethany Dillon!!! AMAZING