Weblog

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Sunday, October 02, 2005

  • this is what I found online, this kid is awsome....

     

    ----------------------------------Start-----------------------------------------------------
    <lib1790> so, at this college there was an extra credit question "Is hell endothermic or exothermic"
    <lib1790> this is what one kid wrote:
    <lib1790> First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass.
    If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
    <lib1790>As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since, there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.
    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
    <lib1790> Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.
    <lib1790>So, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose (i.e.,Hell is exothermic).
    <liv1790>Of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over (i.e.,Hell is endothermic).
    <lib1790>So which is it? If we accept the postulate given by Ms.Therese Banyan during my freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in hell before I go out with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having a relationship with her, the second case cannot be true. Therefore, hell is exothermic.
    <lib1790> the kid was the only one who got credit
    -------------------------------------------END-----------------------------------------

Thursday, August 25, 2005

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Monday, August 15, 2005

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Monday, May 09, 2005

  • 第一次,一個醫生從娘胎里把我拽出來,突然暈倒,一個護士閉上眼摸索著,把我塞了回去……

    第二次我出生以後,醫院所有的人都躲在太平間哭泣,院長自己抽自己的嘴巴子,怪自己有眼無珠,不該貪財接了我這個生意……

    母愛是偉大的,她不嫌棄我,把我養大成人,不過他在我臉上貼了一張骷髏照片,以減輕心理壓力,面具伴隨我到十歲。

    十一歲那年,我上三年級,全班同學都是好奇心最重的時候,都拼命的想看看面具後的我到底什麼樣子,有個外號叫李大膽的同學趁我小便的時候一把扯下了我的面 具,從此後,李大膽同學患上一種怪病,不會說話,目光呆滯,一天到晚什麼也不幹,對著一個人的頭骨打死不眨眼,一閉上眼,就流淚不止……

    校長上報了教育局,教育局派人來了,因為全校的同學都轉學了,校長每天早上只能吃半碗稀飯,老師的工資已經兩月沒著落……

    教育局的人見到我後,局長立刻辭職下海不幹了,連鎖反應,全國的教育機構解散……

    我走在街上,路邊的人全在狂吐不止,一群豬從後邊衝到我這里,忙不迭的給我戴紅花,發獎杯,還給了我一個証書,上寫:豬的救星。

    隔壁劉麻子的媳婦要跟他吹,說他的一臉麻子太惡心了,絕對要離!!!正巧我走到他們窗前,劉麻子老婆一見我,不說話了,拿出錢,到保險公司給劉麻子的麻子保了險,一個麻子一萬……

    又驚動了聯合國(?為什麼要說又呢),安南無計可施,要求強迫我整容,可是沒有成功,所有的整容醫生見到我以後全部大哭不止,將近半數的醫生進了精神病院,症狀全部一樣,什麼也不會說,只有一句:醜……極品醜……

    阿拉法特派專機來接我,要求我站在總統府門口,以抵抗以軍的包圍,我去站了一分鐘,以軍全軍撤退,沙龍被迫辭職,巴勒斯坦舉國歡騰,但當阿拉法特要介紹我這個民族英雄的時候,巴勒斯坦全國人民打著燈籠也找不到了……

    一個作家找我,聲淚俱下:我長這麼大,最大的夢想就是得一次諾貝爾文學獎,可是現在的高手太厲害了……我有個絕招,只要我能在你面前寫一部書,我一定能得獎!!!

    我不信,于是他跟我待了一星期,寫出一部長達五百萬字的小說《地獄七日》,結果,連諾貝爾醫學獎也被他拿了……

    諾貝爾總部宣布,世界上要是能找出形容我面貌文字,就能得文學獎,結果,全部的作家都改行買豬肉了,諾貝爾文學獎從此消失……

    國家足協特招我進隊,想借此真正衝出亞洲,在世界杯上,中國隊一球未失,每一場都是一個比分12:0,一人一個球,踢完了就在草坪上開野餐會,我一個人在球門前BBQ,對方球員包括守門員全部吐暈在地,裁判連紅牌都掏出來了。

    當然我們的隊員也經過了循序漸進式的魔鬼訓練,先看我的照片,然後看著我照片吃飯,然後再踢球……

    大力神杯從此永久的留在了中國,國外媒體評論我是魔鬼化身。

    世界撒謊大賽開賽,各色人種的參賽選手開天闢地的狂吹亂侃,我走上台,只說了三個字就得了冠軍,並且永久保留冠軍頭銜,我說:我不醜…….

    我在夜里哭泣,對著月亮,輕聲的問:我,好看嗎?月亮上輕輕落下一個白色物體,我撿起來一看,是一只被九陰白骨爪捏死的小白兔……

    我對著天空呼叫:神阿,我最醜嗎?????

    天空頓時滔滔大雨,落在我的身上,我摸了一把,竟然全是嘔吐物……

    我遠離塵世,來到古老的城堡,我問魔鏡:魔鏡魔鏡,這個世界上誰最醜,魔鏡流著淚,自殺破裂……

    天不容我,又為何生我?????

    我懷恨在心,鬱鬱而終,誰知道,閻王爺下了特赦令,放我回人間……

    于是我在人間游蕩,閒來無事,上網玩,我想聊天,于是我申請QQ號碼,誰知道……系統提示:由于您面目可憎(請原諒,我文學水平不高,只能解釋到這個地步)本公司死也不會提供號碼給您……

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kener_k

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    • Name: Kener
    • Birthday: 7/7/1983
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