| sometimes everything feels likes nothing. the atmosphere we live in is unconducive to friendship. social links in general are thus. i find that it is easier to make friends outside the context of our town. wierd? it shouldn't be, because you feel the same way. oh..and this you isn't specific. its general. the place we live in is crowded...not literally, not physically, but spiritually and metaphysically. the social environment is limited. where as drama else where unravels normally, here it unravels exponentially. we are around the same people day in and day out, but that isn't bad persay. sure, we'd all enjoy time to be able to leave the context of our "crowded" social environment but that is minor. the problem is that you are contexualized. you are a social imprint. there are preconceived notions of you. in order to make a new friend, a meaningful one that is, you don't start from ground zero. you start from negative infinity. first you have to break down the preconceived notion, because if that is all you have as a foundation, there is going to be a landslide soon. once they realize you are not the social imprint that was expected, you can never go back. meeting people in other areas is more simple. they don't know you. they get to have a feel for who you are...without external pressures. There is no mutual friend tainting their impression of you. there is no social pressure to you reject you because her/his friends do not enjoy your company. here we are a net. and this net entangles us. there is no ability, no chance, for me to get to know you, because my views are skewed. they are skewed by both my notion of what you are, and by the mutual acquaintances between us. so don't reject me. don't reject him. don't reject her. think about who he/she is before you say no. this "no" isn't specific either. maybe you will be stigmatized. maybe you won't. as long as the foundation starts from ground zero, your bound to be better off. forget the notions, forget the mutuality, forget the small town environment. forget it all and start from the beginning. ensure that you are the one making the connections, drawing the implications, and deciding. then you' will know...him...her...yourself. yes this is idealistic. but just try. and maybe we can all make each other smile. i hope.
edit //
MIT '09? maybe. i never really considered it a possibility cuz it seemed so unlikely to happen. if i decide on engineering, then MIT it is. it feels great to have my options so much more open though. congrats to angela as well. |
