| "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others linger for a while, leaving footprints on our heart, and we are never the same." There are times in my life when i just want to throw my hands in the air and give up entirely. But then again, there are also times in my life when i am so overwhelmed with that feeling of happiness and completion that i forget all about those other times. These good times and bad times, they come and go. Sometimes, it happens more frequently and this can make an entirely sane and rational human being feel completely out of control. It is at those times that the good people in the world like myself must remember that they don't always have to do everything alone. We always have a support system...a back up if you will. This safety net can be found in friends, family, and those around you who have always been there for you no matter what. We must be able to, in a sense, admit that this is too much for us to handle on our own and seek help in the form of support from other people. I have said many times that my life is not up to me. There is a plan for what i am supposed to be doing in this world and sometimes, it's very hard to get through the tough times if you don't know what that plan is. I'm a very take-charge kind of girl and quite frankly, the idea of having my life in someone else's hands is terrifying. I want to know WHY i'm still living in wichita, i want to know WHY i am working where i do, and i want to know WHAT the future holds for me, both long and short term. To wake up every day and say to myself..."kels, just go through the day and let what will happen happen..." is not a concept that I easily grasp. Often i look at my life and see all of the bad things that are happening to me, and i think of what i could have done differently to prevent them. And that's when it hits me. It may sound cliche but EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!!! Ten years down the road i will be able to look back and say to myself, "if i hadn't spent twenty minutes making that journal entry on xanga back on October 6th in 2007, i wouldn't be where i am today." And who knows??? maybe i will be somewhere fantastic. maybe all of my dreams will have come true and i'll be the happiest woman in the world. OR, maybe i'll still be working towards that goal of ultimate happiness, but either way the fact remains that EVERYTHING you do in this life will effect you forever, and when you put it that way, who really wants that kind of pressure??? So what i say is, give it up to someone who is all knowing. He hasn't led me astray yet, so i really have no reason not to trust Him. Every obstacle i overcome, every mountain i climb, every great thing i do will be because i stayed strong. Now, try and tell me that's not a great feeling??? The bottom line is, i have drawn these conclusions from my life experiences with real people. Some of them have been good people, and some of them have been bad people, and there are still some of them who are just very lost. I pray for all of them, and for everyone who has ever touched my life in even the slightest way, i express my thanks. We should all be glad for the footprints that people leave on our hearts. Some of them are good, and some of them are bad, but from all of them, we learn, and in learning, we grow into better, stronger, and more genuine individuals. peace kelsey kirk |
