| | Today, I was supposed to be rehearsing for a fashion show, but i found myself diverted into a room full of eight people. EIGHT, together in memory of a lost friend whom I have never even met before, never personally knew, but I feel so close to. Only this year, thirty four people have died ONLY INTO THE forth month of this year. They say my lolo killed a lot of people but look at the people who replaced him now. Anyway, why is it that out of all the filipinos (I don't give a shit if u were born here yes you are filipino if you look it ignorant bastard), only a few knows about these human rights violations both in the Philippines and abroad? Or is that people are not educated enough? but some are.. and why is it that they still don't have anything to say about it? Frightened? Insensitive? or is it just outright IGNORANCE and PASSIVENESS again and again and again and AGAIN!!!
I was staring at the face of a twenty year old man.. and in my head streams hundreds of faces that I have seen dead before and with the music humming hopeful hymns, i could not help but mask my tears with an shrieking, clearing sigh. I close my eyes and I see the little naked child who does not know his name, playing in front of Santissima Trinidad in the year 1996, I wonder what he names himself now. I open my eyes and see the people around me, the kindest people in this world, blacklisted yet unafraid and angry but still unwilling to lift a gun. I hear the desperate, frustrated and courageous voices calling out for justice... why? Because of pure and sincere intentions para sa mga tao ng ating lupang sinilangan. I lean on the shoulder of the man I love and feel the tension in his mind and heart, I share the streaming energy as I held his hand because we both know as we look anywhere and everywhere, we're both the only ones left behind. The things we have to give up, the trials and sufferings we always have to endure and have yet to pass are woven into an abyss waiting for us to fall in, overcome and conquer. I smell the scent of the lighted candle and it reminds me of all the candles lit all over the country and the world to remember those who have been slain, those who have been abused, those whose lives can never be repaired only because of the satanic seduction of money and power. This has been going on for more than four hundred years and it is about time we finally wake up and stop pretending that it is not AFFECTING you because my brothers and sisters I am sorry to tell you but the next one to go might be someone you know, it might even be someone you least expected. Like, my love or me. Will it take our lives to shake you guys up... oh god I hope not because it's too early, no not yet.
We Filipinos are gifted with many talents. We are beautiful, widely admired and also DISRESPECTED. It pains me...to know that when I go back to the Philippines, I wouldn't be able to look them in the eye and say that yes.. the Filipinos in America are there with you... Because I know a little over thirty people together with the west coast people,out of thousands of Filipinos here in this country... who TRULY gives a shit about what you're going through. Am I wrong to assume this? Correct me if I'm wrong but for the most part, people try to forget the situation in the Philippines and just live their new lives here in US. Most of them blame the Philippines and its people for their situation now. Most of them are ashamed of all the chaos, corruption, exploitation and everything Filipino in the Philippines. They do however venerate the people at TFC and stare at the television like drugged maniacs, making themselves believe that these actors and actresses are the true representation of our people and our culture. WAKE UP! You are kayumanggi! (tan if u don't know what that means)... not WHITE! You have button nose AKA pango! NOT LIKE the pointy, matangos noses of the mestizos.
Yes, I will be going back to the Philippines this summer for a few days.. which days I cannot disclose. Why? To prove that all that we've done this year is for a cause and to also see for myself what has gone wrong in the country I truly belong. Here's another thought; Why should I be afraid? Why is it so fucking dangerous to go back now? I was born and raised in that place, why is that the people who only seek for the truth and what is RIGHT are always being oppressed, punished, forgotten and neglected. Why do I have to be overprotected just so I can enjoy feeling the heat, walking the same path I used to cross before March 14 1997? Why can't I talk to my old friends without being paranoid that they might be out to get me at this present day and time? Why is the own fucking government and even the civilians attacking their own Filipino comrades? If you are asking the same questions that I am asking... you should pick up a book and relearn your history... i know why.. I'm wondering if u have the answerd to them... If u are curious, if you want to know more... If you already know why... email me at aberyl@gmail.com
this is one venting session for me and I know to some this doesn't make sense.. I'm just rambling some unorganized thoughts right here. I'm once again just being a vanguard of transformation... allow me to do what I am sent here to do... ask me and other people already with us and together we will be advocates of truth... reality and slap some sense into those who can handle the truth. Friends... no matter what, you will all equally remain in my heart and mind... forever my life is completely given unto all of you. Take care and God Bless. I am glad, I was one fo the very few who found a love who walks the same path I am in and seeks the same light, in same vision and intention... I am forever grateful.. and I want you to know that without us, I don't know about tomorrow.
With my whole heart... LOVELOTS, cling
a herald of Christ and a vanguard of transformation |
