Just Some Thoughts... Hi! It's been awhile. I got back a couple of weeks ago from our midyear conference in Thailand, where I learned a lot, rested a lot, and (unfortunately) joined about 3/4 of our group in getting sick a lot! Stomach bugs (or food poisoning, or bacteria... no one really knows what the deal was) are definitely not fun. We all survived, though, and made it back to our cities in one piece. Yesterday our semester officially began with a sort of reorientation back to language school. I have to admit that, while I'm excited about studying this semester, my heart kind of sank when I first walked into the office yesterday morning. Playtime's over; the work is about to begin. This semester, I feel like I have a completely different perspective on things than in the past. I have to, I guess--I only have a few more months left in this place before I'll move on to where I'll serve next year. In many ways, I'd kind of started to feel like Changchun was home, which is dangerous when you live a nomad-style life like we do. You really have to watch your heart, otherwise you'll get too attached to places or people and just... cave in. To be honest, there are many times when I'm just not sure I was cut out to live a life like this. Some people thrive on change and constantly facing new situations; I'm not one of them. I've definitely gotten better with change since moving to China, and I do get excited about new things, but my heart still breaks to pieces whenever I have to say goodbye to people-- which happens a lot. With all that in mind, I've been trying to find the answers to some pretty confusing questions lately, like... how in the world do I live this life, and love the people in my life well, when I feel like I'm always about to leave? More specifically, how do I live this last semester in CC and pour into the relationships I've been given, knowing that I'll be gone in four months? How can I "be all here" while preparing to go away? And how in the world will I say goodbye?! I just don't know. I can already see some of the relationships in my life changing on their own, which kills me, but which I also know must happen. Maybe everything will just naturally take its course. I hate goodbyes, though, and this is going to be a big one. If you guys think about it, please lift me up about this... I'm really just not sure how to handle it yet. I need grace, and an attitude that reflects Him, not my own melancholiness. Thanks!! And now, on a lighter note, here are some pictures from conference...
 "The remnant" of our '04-'05 Hui Jia team
'04-'05 CTFers and team leaders Karen and Kristi, my ATC roomies...
Harmony, um... dancing with my arm....
Precious kids from a migrant school on the border of Thailand and Myanmar. (I had the chance to visit a refugee camp after conference... wow. A very eye-opening experience. Let me know if you want to know more about it...)
These sweet girls are part of a fellowship in the refugee camp. We got to spend some time teaching English to them.
Ok, that's all I've got. Have a happy Tuesday... I'm off to study. Hope everyone out there is doing well! |