I'm a senior, but I could really care less. I attended Eddy's graduation tonight and I realized that being a graduate really is an indifferent feeling. Who cares, you along with a kabillion other teenagers are graduating, "starting a new life". WHO CARES. I have been so up tight lately so with the summer upon my ass I am hoping that it will cool my nerve and I can relax. Me and Eddy have been back together for 3 months and on the 4th it will be a total of a year of dating. I love him and I am gald that has finally happened to me. For all you emo boys out there dont tell me there isnt love in high school because there is. So for that I am placing my hater blockers on my face..haha yeah yeah. well it is 12 30 the need for sleep has possesed me..spelling sucks

DRIVE SAFELY PLEASE

Have you ever been alone for a really long time? During the duration of this time you don't say anything because there is no need to. You kind of have conversations in your head. Ok, not conversations but you make statements, may sing a few songs. Then all of the sudden you speak and your throat is all odd feeling and you voice just sounds wrong....well that just happened to me.

drive safely

kate

It's been a while, I'm aware. It's not that I have been busy, it is the fact Myspace has taken over my life. Junior year has presented many challenges for me. I feel more and more like a bitch every day. There has to be something in my head that is constantly making me impatient with others. It's not who I am, being this way I mean. It just seems that my nerves are getting sensitive.
My life isn't hard. I know I have it made. Two parents, a house, a car, a school, brains, leadership, even looks if you won't deem me cocky. Even though God has blessed me with so much there is still something in my life that I have not yet possessed. I don't know what it is that is the worst part. I can't stand this feeling of an empty hole in my heart. Maybe it is my parents. They do seem to take their anger out on me. Not in a pshysical manner but anytime they have had a bad day they find something I have done wrong, then work it. Then again I really shouldn't complain. I have a great boyfriend whom I have been dating for about a month. Tyler is a fantastic guy and I couldn't ask for anything better, but...then again there is always a but. I feel like I am using him. This feeling is hard to explain. I have just gotten out of a 8 month relationship with a guy named Eddy. He broke my heart when he broke up with me, but now he wants me back. Of course Eddy tells me this a few weeks after me and Tyler meet, so I was stuck in a situation I didn't want to be in. So abunch of boring stuff happened and Eddy is waiting for my and Tylers relationship to end. So thats why I feel like I am using Tyler. I care about him but then again I am always wondering what is going to happen between me and Eddy. Yes, I am positive i could tell you exactally the outcome which would end in me crying my heart out to a bowl of ice cream. Still there is some feeling of me wanting that, and it's terrible!
I need that feeling of when I look at a guy my heart aches to know more about him. To catch him staring at me. To know that the next time I see him I will get a heartfelt kiss or hug anything. I just want to be in love, but then again maybe I'm to young to even feel that. Of course thats what I've always said before.

wow so many things have gone on in my life
but really my brain and my heart cant honestly make a choice
tennis has started up and me and my partner are getting better by the min. i am really hoping this season will be good because i have a new partner it is her senior year and it will be my last year play doubles i am so going to singles next year.
school has been great. stright a's last report card which im sure no one cares but i really did work hard that it truely my most earned a's (i am usually so pushed that i have to cheat)
oh cheating what it does to ones life
i know that we cant ever change the way our heart is feeling that is just to hard to make your heart think something it dosent want to
right now i am in a situation when i am going to have to choose eventually
me and amanda bates are on spring break down in panama and we met some guys from eastern and i have really connected with one of the boys mentally and physically.
i still love jacob dearly and it would kill me if we broke up right now but still this new guy just i cant seem to get enough of him. i told him that i have a boyfriend BUT i said that we were on kind of a break which is mostly true. and he got pretty upset which shows me that he really does care. i hope that things just play out. i dont want to call myself a cheater because i never came down here with the goal of hooking up but in the mist of things i met a really kind guy who is putting a new twist on things. man i either need advice or time

A Friend; someone who is there for you through thick and thin, someone to always tell you you are amazing and beautiful, to never hurt or put you down. Well lately I haven't has the best of luck in that department. The more I escape Meade County with my list of friends the more my old ones seem to hate me. It seems that I would end my friendship between me and natalie and kara. It seems i would stand up for myself and save me from harsh comments disaproveal and backstabbing but for some reason i am so self doubting that i know i would never be able to find anyone else to hang out with. but i dont i care to much to take care of other people i never do anything good for myself and i am tired of it

k//thanks