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| ITS SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE.Actually, its not that hard. It's not like I've been updating anyways. I've been on Xanga for a few years now, and in that time, I've met some new friends, gotten to know some old friends better and of course, leered at strangers from a distance. And although I have yet to reach my ultimate goal of having sex with every girl on Xanga, I think its safe to say I gave it a good effort. For real though, as nerdy as it may sound, I've made some connections with the people here, and hopefully through my writing, I was able to share my perspective, no matter how twisted and perverted that may have been. I actually plan on writing again in the future, but as of now, this Xanga has pretty much fallen into the shitter. I think its time I finally put it out of its misery.
Stay in touch peoples. You see the MSN contact.
Peace. | | |
| Other than seeing myself in the mirror this morning, this has to be THE coolest shit I've seen all week.
Julian Beever is an artist who is famous for his chalk drawings in Europe.
Mind-boggling, to say the least.
Previous drawing from a different angle.
Probably my favorite one.
Google 'Julian Beever' for more of his artwork.
EDIT: Pics should be working again now... | | |
| Ola amigo.La Vida Loca is officially over.
That doesn't mean my life has come to an end, just the fun and exciting parts. Even though the grindstone seems dull as ever, its back to the grind as usual. Sigh...life is so much better being an extra in a Corona commercial.
I feared the worst, so as a promise to myself, I left my camera back in the safe haven of our hotel room whenever I expected to be intoxicated. This of course resulted in limited photo opportunities until the last day of the trip, where my Sony Cybershot promptly died out after about 10 pictures. It's all good though. I was still able to snap up a few shots of the beach, topless sun-tanners, and a monkey drinking beer. All the essentials. I'll post them sometime later this week. For starters, here a picture I took of our balcony view with my cell phone.
Postcard-ish, no?
I know this scenic photograph may incite some feelings of jealousy/envy, but really now, isn't it a little too late for that? Before leaving, I received my fair share of good-natured death wishes (i.e.. I hope you drown, you lucky bastard), but what is the point of being envious AFTER the fact? We're back on the same playing field now. The experience is over for me. No need to feel envious anymore. That would be kind of like me approaching someone and saying 'YOU'RE SUCH A LUCKY SPERM! HOW DID YOU EVER GET THAT EGG!!! OH I'M SO JEALOUS!!!' Get over it people.
Now that I'm tanned like a golden gram and no longer have a shaved head, it seems like no one is able to recognize me. Which is why I planning on stealing more frequently. Everyone says I look like a 'dirty Mexican' now and I take offense to that. Why is it necessary to perceive Mexicans as 'dirty'? All the gardeners, maids, and salsa dancers I met in Mexico were extremely pleasant to be around, so I don't appreciate your stereotypical comments.
Enough Cancun talk for now. Since I've been MIA for a while (I'm aware that I don't update reguarly anyways), lets ruffle some feathers.
FUCK 24
''WATCH MY SHOW OR I'LL SHOOT!!''
I will not join your cult. I don't care how gangsta Jack Bauer is or how original the show format is. I don't care. I can barely handle my own 24 hours, let alone rearranging it to accomodate another 24. Leave me to my NBA games, Seinfeld and Simpsons.
And no, its not that I don't 'get it'. I just don't want to get it. Many friends that I have the utmost respect for, have attempted to baptize me into the world of 24, but their efforts actually had a reverse effect. I'm certain that if I actually started watching the show, I would enjoy it immensely, but you know what, fuck you and fuck 24. Shit is a gate-way drug into serial sodomy. I will not be brainwashed. I've seen what the show does to people; booking off work and isolating yourself just to watch the show non-stop for days, constantly harassing your friends to 'just give it a chance', and incessently making references to Jack Bauer in real life situations.
Eg.
Uncontaminated Friend: It's been a rough few days. My girlfriend dumped me and my dog died last night....
24 Fan: Oh my God! You're such a pussy. Jack Bauer would've picked that dog carcass up with his bare hands and used it to prepare a romantic gourmet dinner (with nothing but a Bic pen, a swiss army knife and his watch) for his girlfriend, which would have prevented her from ending the relationship, joining Al Qaeda and eventually destroying the entire planet with an atomic bomb! Jack Bauer is so delicious. I'd let him stick it in my ass. Why can't you be more like Jack Bauer? Hes so awesome. Jack Bauer. Hes incredible. Jack Bauer.
Uncontaminated Friend: Why do you keep saying his name?
24 Fan: I don't know what you mean...
..............
Jack Bauer.
That can't be healthy. They should change the show name from to 24 to 365 instead. Y'all can have your crack and smoke it too. Jack Bauer is not your God. In fact, he's nothing more than a rehashed Macgyver with a freedom fighting make-over. Jack Bauer can suck my mawfucking dick. The show recently consumed my friends soul and ever since, I've started to see him gradually fall apart. Even he admits that since watching the show, he finds himself being extremely demanding, even when asking run-of-the-mill everyday questions. WHAT TIME IS IT? TELL ME!!! I MUST KNOW NOW!!! This behavior is unacceptable. There should be rehab clinics for 24 fans. I'm not the freak here. You all need help. And until you people get that help, I will continue to shun the show...
So for those that have yet to succumb to peer pressure, I commend you. Be strong, stand your ground and fuck 24 with a Cancun diseased dick.
THE POWER IS OURS!
NOT JACK BAUERS!
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| Fuck this Narnia shit.
I'm going to Cancun. Hasta la vista baby.
Enjoy the snow, suckers. Mauaahahahahahahahaha | | |
| I am forcing myself to write this entry. If I fall below the threshold of 50 words per minute, shocks of electric voltage will be delivered to metal clamps currently attached to my balls. And a bus will blow up. So for the sake of public transportation, I bring forth this randumb entry.
The place that sells sushi at my university cafateria is called the 'Ah So Bar'. Linguistically, I'd assume its japanese for sushi. But phonetically, it sounds more like the digested sushi's place of departure. A bar full of assholes doesn't seem all too appealing. And yet, we still pay cover charge for clubs. Go figure.
And while I'm on the somewhat related topic, I saw the Manchu Wok Lady (UWO reference) at Angelo's bakery & deli with her husband. They were in the process of buying a cake, and as I browsed by their aisle, I heard them complaining about the size and price of the cake. Three words came to mind: SWEET FUCKING JUSTICE. Fuck Manchu Wok. Next time I eat there, I'm recouping my losses with a fortune made from stolen cookies. I know that doesn't bode well for my karma levels, but fuck it. I'll have more than enough cryptic one lined well-wishes to keep me safe for the time being.
My brothers full name is Kien La. He's in school to be a lawyer. I've been doing some thinking and I've decided to change my surname to 'Porne'. The 'e' is to keep it classy.
I don't know if its just me, but trying to interact with someone that you've had a intimate relationship with is extremely difficult. No matter how casual the encounter, I always think to myself 'wow...I can't believe my penis was once in her mouth'. I think it might be just me though.
In the future, I want to do an english minor. Just something about a young girl with an accent....
I think people with stumps could do better. What can be destroyed, can be rebuilt. With style. Don't just settle for a hook. Thats like building a fucking MacDonalds over Ground Zero. Surgically implant a can-opener, a ping-pong paddle, an oversized novelty foam finger, fucking anything besides a hook. Get creative.
I did some bloodwork for the first time ever, last week. They took four fucking viles. What the hell. Thats like the equivalent of a gazillion mosquitoes. Next time, I'm bringing a garlic necklace and a wooden stake.
It still boggles my mind that humans as a species have yet to advance past toilet paper. In the span of our existence, we've gone from grass to manufactured paper. Thats like what, one level of improvement?? Whoever said progress was a slow process, must've been talking about wiping their ass. Nevermind outerspace travel for now NASA. Get to work on that poo-incerating laser gun. My Ah So is itching for it.
I know I swear too much, but its just too effective of a literary tool to completely forgo. It just compliments phrases with such raw emotion that you really get can't out of other words. You get what I'm saying? No? Now do you get what I'm fucking saying? Thought so.
I think I'm dumber than I think I am. And thats scary, cause I usually don't think.
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