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| RANDUMbLong time no write. Things are going well and I'm encouraged. It seems like there is a dismantling going on in my life which is good because something good is also being built. The dismantling has been going on for awhile. Anyway, i'm not exactly sure but life is being restored slowly or at least it seems that way. Things seem to have found a place of normalcy again. Friends from my past are returning in different forms and blowing me away! God is so GOOD!
I also feel like i'm going around the mountain again. Is there something I just didn't get the other 2 times around? I seem to go through these seasons where I work, work, work then drop everything and run away from here for awhile to find God or at least go to where I think He's leading me. So, now i'm in work mode. Things seem the same as they did the last time I found myself in this industry. Have I changed at all? I'm not handling the stress very well. I'm very grumpy most of the time. sigh. Am I just too serious? What's all the hard work for anyway? I'm having a hard time seeing where i'm headed.
I got my hair cut. It's sitting just below my jaw and it's a little bit stylish. So, yeah i've lost a lot of length. All good. Out with the old and in with the new. I doubt very much i'll go back to the long hair unless of course I run out of money for the haircut fund.
Saw Finger Eleven on Monday at the Burton (an old theater in the exchange district) . . . pretty cool. Tam and I had the last row in the house, very steep steps but different perspective. I could actually see what the drummer was doing because we were above instead of in front him.
Happy Mother's Day to you Moms out there : )
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| Hawaii is highly over rated : PWell it's been 2 months with no posts. However, March was pretty well a write off. I ended up going to Hawaii on February 25th to meet up with my good friend Marnie and caught pneumonia on the plane. The pneumonia made the MG (Myasthenia Gravis) freak out so I ended up being hospitalized in Honolulu for 10 days. My "vacation" was supposed to occur in Kona but the hospital there didn't have a neurologist so they had to fly me to Honolulu. It was pretty serious. I originally went to the hospital because I couldn't swallow but the MG also ended up causing breathing problems. I was in ICU for 6 days with a breathing tube. It was a horrible experience and I hope that I never have to go through that again! On the upside the MG is under control and i'm feeling better than before I went to Hawaii.
I am thankful that Marnie was with me because she made me laugh and took really good care of me. Marn also initiated prayer around the world for me : ) (So thankful for prayers!!) She is so great! I am also thankful for travel insurance or else I would likely be around $100, 000 in the hole.
So, now what?! Well, I started back at work yesterday and things are busy . . . and I am tired. I get this sense that things have to and must change for me some how. I just don't know what to change or how to change it.
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| Healing . . . yes pleaseWell i'm here again so I figured I should write something. I just don't feel like there is much to write about these days. Things have been pretty well the same for quite awhile now. I haven't been well the past month or more so it's just been basically getting myself to work and home again. I have little energy for much else because as well as dealing with the symptoms of Myasthenia Gravis (MG) I was also really, really nauseous and super mega tired. Thankfully the days of nausea ended last Friday and have not returned! The nausea was so bad I went off coffee for a week! I've been reading a really good book on healing. Basically it says that we are already healed because healing is the same as or part of salvation. So when we are saved we are healed. Last I checked I was saved so that makes me healed. The hard part of this equation is faith. To believe i'm healed when nasty symptoms tell me otherwise. Really, really hard. It's like not living in reality. But what is real? What I see here on earth or the Kingdom of Heaven or both? They are both real but what do I let rule my life? "Healing the Sick" is helping me build my faith and I feel better physically when I read it. I know what is in that book is real and that it's the truth. It's pretty well all scripture and stories of healing from mass crusades that the author and his wife have been apart of. The scriptures are awesome and get repeated over and over again. I need that. So, far i've stuck to my big plan for the winter . . . rest and learning about healing. I really want to know what God says about it. But I guess if i'm really going learn about healing I better get my eyes on the healer. It's so very easy to be distracted by everything. Oh yeah, I was also going to seek alternative forms of therapy for MG this winter too. That is on hold. I really need to find a natural doctor (or something!?) who understands MG and the medicine i'm taking and no more crazy diets! ~ Clear! | | |
| cancer sucks assToday was harder than expected. My good friends dad passed away on Wednesday and today was the funeral. I didn't know him very well but he has a very excellent daughter. I was inspired by his life just by listening to what his friends and family had to say about him. I felt like I was crying too much but I could not help it. Several great things were said and he sure had a lot of wisdom that he passed on to those around him. "Smile at people you don't know because you never know who might be your next best friend". "Show your emotions". "Share your stories". Smart. Hugging also seemed to be very important to Wayne. I hugged the people sitting next to me twice. I'm feeling very drained and should be sleeping but I just have too much in my head. I'm feeling overwhelmed by the pain that seems to be everywhere. Everything seems very hard, kind of like a continual uphill battle. | | |
| On the Up SideWhat's funny is that when it hits 0 C in December people think it's summer. I didn't see anyone wearing shorts yesterday but i'm sure it happened somewhere. I did however smell BBQ when my dog was taking me for a walk. That was great. This morning the trees were covered in white frost and it was kind of foggy out. That looked amazingly beautiful. 
photo from http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=123475349 I spent this afternoon with Nailia on the Corydon Strip. We took in some lunch, coffee (carmel corretto, of course!) and hats! It was a great day. | | |
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