Amazing Changes

1 year has passed since my last post. The changes have been amazing. Workwise it seems eveyrthing is going pretty good for me. Relationship wise it seems everything this year has been depressing.

Its amazing how many friends i have said farewell to in the last 12 months. It seems all my friends are heading off into their amazing new life spread across the world. I wish them all the best but i know here i wish i could relive the days of first-second yr where life was most fun.

Uni is just not like what it was in first year. With most of my uni friends graduated and entered into the commercial world it seems uni had become a place where we come and go.... no longer a place with friendships are made... no longer where fun is available. It seems uni has become merely a place where we go for our 2 hour class and then go home. Its amazing the effort it took this year to organise a lunch at uni.

It is equally unbelievable how much of a domino effect a break up has. The break up of two of my best uni friends this year has led to disasterous break up of my uni group of friends. Its depressing to see how in the final semester my group of friends has disintegrated into a couple of factions. I still remember the times in first year after ACCG 1A where we had lunch for 5 hours together. It seemed like yesterday. But these days i feel like im a guy stuck in the middle. Sometimes torn between the loyalties of my friends who were once best friends. It is so sad how i cannot see all my friends in one go. Where i am not torn between my friends i feel like i am a messaging service where i try to pass messages/things between people and keep the peace. But in these depressing circumstances I have grown closer to a couple of my uni friends and have learnt a lot how love can be all so painful. How love can change my friends lives once and for all. Stay strong, stay positive. We all have a lot ahead of us.

I guess this applies to me equally. As most ppl probably know my love life has taken a dive as well. I still remember when my two friends broke up in March 06 when I asked my x whether she thought we would last one year. I still remember her answer and she said quite confidently es? But depressingly, and admittedly my complacency and what one of my friend said ver comfortability?led to the end of my relationship just short of one year. Although I could feel it building up its amazing how much it hurts when you finally get the break up msg. I think that hit me so hard that I did very stupid things afterwards. Probably stupid things that put the nail in the coffin. I don know whether my friend agrees, but I most certainly think, one of the leading factors in our pain was that we changed our priorities as we faced more and more pressure from our surrounds. But its good now, its good how me and oli have been able to keep a descent friendship. It was rocky at the start but I think now it is more solid. I know I have been, and probably will say stupid stuffut forgive me?its what I do to all friends. I had actually suspected it for months, but its amazing how much it actually striked me youe your new relationship confirmed . I think when your messenger told me I didn look too shocked, but actually it was a big shock. I think I am too good at looking happy and covering my emotions. But I think its good how I finally got closure in this issue. I hope we can keep our friendship and I hope I can get to meet your new one. But most importantly I hope you guys all the best. I did things wrong in our one, you did things wrong and I am sure we have come out of it and learnt a lot. I wonder how I will react when I see him?  I want to know will you give me the opportunity! I actually think this final final closure will be good.

I must thank all my friends who have helped me through this time. I may have appeared happy but I think deep down it did hurt me. But it was you guys out there, who gave me company and advice, which allowed me thru this. I don know whether I helped you more or whether you helped me more but it was good to have you around. It made me feel that I still had a friend who were willing to share my feelings.

Its actually amazing how love can change a person to the positive too. I remember the msg LT sent me on Thu 16/11 . It was made me feel so wonderful. At first I didn believe it was you because it was seriously nothing like the stuff you would say. But when I knew it was actually u I felt so happy. It was stuff you have never said to me and it actually allowed me to feel much more closer to you. Its amazing how much the word orry?could change a feeling. And its even more amazing to see how much you have changed in just one year. I must say I was very um dong?by what you had said.

Its actually amazing how love can change a girl to the positive too. I still remember how I would have major arguments with this girl because of her selfishness and oli would be stuck in the middle? Sorry oli?.but in the 1 ?years since then the changes have been astonishing. She now seems to place herself 2^nd, with her bf first, always thinking first of what bf wants and placing her own wants 2^nd. Its equally amazing how she thinks of others as well. I woulda never thought u would have bought the Jurlique for me. When you actually bought it, I was very surprised and that confirms how much you have changed. Is it because we have grown? Or is it because someone has taught you well? I still remember the bf saying 1 yr ago  will teach her, she will change, but it wont be right now.. but it will be soon?It seems things did change and its amazing.

I think I have been asked whether I am ready for another relationship. I must say I don know. Its been languishing around my mind for months now but I haven been able to make my mind. Sometimes signals given to me are positive , sometimes signals given to me are negative. I trying to read it. I try to make a step but then I seem to be progressing no where. I think each minute we wait it will become like Leo Ku愛得太遲. But sometimes things can come at a bad time and it takes time to overcome these problems. And I think time Is not what I have, I want to move ahead if I can and try it if I am not too late.

People ask me why I went on four ski trips. I love it, I think I am addicted to sking. Im shit at it, but i hope with my regular exercise I can get better by nxt yr. Each time was fun, each extra time was more fun. But its amazing to see the contrast. But skiing was extremely fun, I want to go again next year. I hope all of you guys will go with me again. It was amazing how many ppl I met, my 2^nd and third ski trip I went with totally random ppl I had never met before. The first time I went was 15 July 2006 and the last time I went was 15 August 2006. I went with the same guy both times but the atmosphere, the things we talked about was sososos different. The problems we both had are so similar its amazing. The approaches we took are so different. Life is so complicated, I don know whether I would agree that ife sux? but life does create so many problems. But without these problems how will we grow, we grow from working through our problems.

I think it is so amazing how our status and lifestyle has changed as we start working. I still remember the days when we ate a $15 dinner and thought it was so expensive. That was in first year?. but now these days, not just me, not just my full-time working friends but most of my friends who work part time have changed. We are seeing Chinese style caf?as ow-end?food. We are going up in our status without knowing it. We eat more expensive, we drink more expensive, we spend so much money shouting our friends. We are not shouting cheap dinners but expensive dinners.

I guess with my priorities rearranged inadvertedly I have had more success in my work life. It seems my 4 month appointment at MQ had ended up to be closer to one year. Over the 12 months I have been in 3 positions each of which was extremely worthwhile. I think I have learnt a lot from it. I don know whether I am making ppl hate me or do ppl at work like me. Right now I am doing three ppl jobs on a single persons pay. Sometimes I feel like im helping out, but sometimes I feel like in taking over other ppl work. But despite this I think this 12 months experience has been most rewarding because of the things I have learnt. I think its because of the wide discretion I was given, but I had really enjoyed the work even though I was trying to do 3 ppl job in  4 days and still maintaining full time uni.  I don know whether they were just jokingut both my managers have said to me ou are an asset, what will we do without you? even though they may just be bsing?but its amazing how much pride I gain from it. It is amazing how much words can make a person feel.Anyway this Friday is my final day at Uni. I am sure I will miss everyone at MQ Undergrad. It seemed I had only worked here for 12 months but I had developed the strongest work relationships I have in any of my workplaces.

I should be happy now, I am only one week away from leaving for my trip of a life time. I am not sure how many years later before I will get another chance to go on a 5.5 wk long trip to Europe, hk. Im sure it is gonna be fun, and im sure it will test our friendship. But I think we got a good combination, I think we will have arguments but not friendship breaking arguments.

But when I return from this money burning spree, I start in my new job at ANZ. It will probably be the biggest change in lifestyle in my life so far. Watching my friends in the corporate  environment I know I will be working till I die everyday. Will I still have time for my personal life? Will I still have time to pursue what I think I want to pursue? Can I move ahead or will I like Leo Ku愛得太遲? Don play mind games, I should speak mind?. that is what I have learnt from my two relationships, my work experience and my friendship.

Wow a 2000 word xanga entry. I just wrote another law essay.

Sunday 4th Decemvber 2005

I was literally home ALLLL DAY again until 9pm when Both Andy and Sharon called asking me to go out. I was thirlllllleeeeed of course. Andy ask me to go to MJ while Sharon ask me to go to bowling.

I wanted to go to bowling but unfotunately Andy was "3 miss 1". Haiiii... how come all of a sudden everyone call me and b4 no one call me to go out. YEEEEEE. Well anyway Andy and Sai and Maggie and Me sharing with Yeayun did our four circiles with us loosing $1 and Andy loosing $17. Ng g hai mai tong jor lo por too long and now i become sor jai too. We were adding up the tokens and i was like "we lost $12". But in fact i had left 110 tokens inside the drawer. B4 i found it everyone was like re counting and worrying. How come the value doesnt add up.. haiii sor jai ... lo por jung yiu ng yiu sor jai ar?

Then when Colman came sai/yeayun left . We played some big2. i thought it was heaps more fun then MJ. But probably because i won $3

The willly, colman, maggie and Andy played another four circiles of MJ with me watching. During that time ngor tong lo por msn and talk on phone. Hehe... ...wah so desperate... so wanner talk to lo por so .... talk on a mobile phone to hk.

Then lo por jai in HK went to bed and became a lan fun ju

While lo gong jai in Aust watch mj

'But g but gok' light appeared and i could enjoy sun set. Jui sui lo por not with me for  such a lor man time

Then when day break occured everyone was hungry and we went to Maisy. I was gonna not eat anything and be a good boy. But iw as too hungry and i shared a MEGA breakfast with maggie. Wah so sososososos big. It was so big that even us to having the breakfast tomato and beans were left.

After that i went home. buttt yyeeeeeeeee i hadnt moved the bed sheets from the washing machine to the drier b4 i left so i had to wait for the drier to dry the bed sheets b4 i could sleep. It wasnt till like 9 b4 i slept.

MOnday 5th Feb

OMG.. a day off with nothing to do on a weekday.... This is a record....

So i decided to go to repair my computer and then went to chatswood to buy plane ticket. There i also purchased a blender, juice, frozen yoghurt.

OMG so frustrated. it took me 1hr 45 mins to drive home for what shoul dhave taken 1hr. Some STOOOOPIDD car had crashed and a whole big road was closed in both directions... made me so frustrated.

I was so frustrated that when i got home  and watched ah wong i wanted to shoot him every time he spoke. He is so irritating. grrrfrrrr

The highlight of da day was that i made something like Mango Magic using my own blender. Hai it was so easy. The taste was just like BOOST. I cant believe i have been paying like $5 for a cup when this cup probably cost me less then $1.Wonder why they are so rich.

Tuesday 08 December 2005

I did nothing and stayed home all day until 3am when i decided to go back to Epping. Pretty relaxing... but better if lo por jai could sou sou and liu liu and aou aou.

Wed 09 December 2005

SOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTT - - - -

Went to work at ATR. After work we were gonna go to yea yun house and eat her mum food. I wasnt sure whether i wanted to go because his house mo aircon. I HATE THE HEAT.

The saviour rung right at 5.30 when Sharon asked me to go out for dinner. So i dragged out yeayun and bao to go wif me instead of go to his house. We went to BONDI and had Kum Fuk. Me and lo por always said we go but never go. OMG we were like the only Chinese Table in da WHOLE resturant. Because sharon friendcd, Gilbert knew the ppl at kum fuk it was so cheap. Only $20 each for 5 ppl for 5 dishes. So cool. we mus thave got free tim bun, free rice, free tea.

After that we went to K... all 5 of us at K for 3 hrs. Yes an odd number.. two couples

and me

Then at midnight i drove bao to 'suprise' KS which wasnt very suprising.And not suprising KS.. being siu yeh jai ... was complaining abt work as usual... hahaha...

Thursday 8 December

Nothing happened

Work at MQ then went home and slept.

Highlight of da day.....soooooooo hot.

As you can see its almost been 1/2 year since i have updated.Alot  has changed since then. Me and lo porjai has jus marked our 6 Month anniversary. 6months on the 30th NOvember 2005 should have been a happy time. Instead we were both sad because lo por had to go back to HK and leave me here in Australia alone.

30 November 2005

We woke up bright and early at 9am jus to ensure maximum time together. First we went to Bonji Junction hoping to buy a pair of glasses for me. But then i realised the insurance paid back so little money so i decided to buy it in hk because mum said its cheaper and better looking. After that we went to have lunch.... Korean at Capitol Sq. I wanted Korean because of their side dishes. But i was disappointed to find out that was no side dishes for lunch.

Aftr that we went to the Airport and i almost made lo por cry because i said i will miss her.. haha sor lui... no need to cry... i will see u soon when i go to hk.

After that i drove home and did nothing all day!!! grrrr....

1 December 2005

Today was my first day of being alone in Australia. I realised how empty it was wif my lo por jai half way across the other side of da world. When i finish work i jus go home and eat dinner and watch episodes.

2nd December 2005

I finished work at 4.30 and called Baron hoping to go out to dinner with Baron and JOn. They were watching a movie so i told Baron - 'call me when u finish movie so we can go out to dinner together'.... at 7.30 no one called me. I called Baron and found out he had totally forgotten about me!!! How disappointing!!! An Acturiy with GPA of 4.0 out of 4.0 had fortten about me!!

While he forgot i think Kristy was ultra happy that he had forgotten because she was stuck at the station 1/2 way home when rain came down in buckets. So being the good boy i am, i drove to eastwood to pick her up. We had dinner then i drove her back home. Lo por jai ng wui jelous ar mar? One on one dinenr with another girl?

3rdDecember 2005

Today was my only real day out since lo por jai left. I was full of hope..... looking forward to go out for siu yea. Unfortunately bao and ks 'lut dai' without even a hint of regret (as usual).... But luckily Eugene did not lut dai.

So i sat at Epping all day looking forward to the evening day out. Watched so many episodes. Dont think i watched this many in a day for such a long time. I watched liek 7-8 episodes in that day.

Anyway the time came for siu yea. I picked up yea yun and we couldnt decide where to go. Couldnt decide betwen max brener or tong sui. Finally we decided maxxy cause i wanted to have fondue.... wah so fei fei... sorry lo por... ruined my minus fat plan.  well after only about 6-7 pieces i went from feeling empty to feelign so full. OMG.

But it wasnt enough. i went to eat more. cause i didnt like sweet stuff so much i went on to eat some chilli fish balls. This reminds me of all the street food in HK. so yummy. I must have heaps heaps heaps when ic ome to HK... i love the street fooooodddsooooooo much. Unfortuantely lo por ng eat.....

So in less than 2 hours i had fondue, chilli balls and pearl tea. About as far from minus fat plan as can be posisble!!! grrrrr

My Guilt Is Below.... Forgive me Lo Por JAI... HAHA Ngor scary ng scary???

I'm very disappointed that someone can conclude on something by listening to one side of the story without even trying to understand the full story. Its amazing how somone can be so amazingly biased towards someone when they like that person. Its further amazing how someone can jau someone like that.

An argument is never healthy, it hurts a relationship, but furthermore it hurts the people we love. I can see the pain within the people we love  to see us argue. Never seek to blame in an arguement, it is always both sides at fault. No one is ever fully right.

婓xanga 奻睿湮模醱扂猁fat sai 扂頗kun暮狟婓腔Oli跤扂腔沭璃﹝ 扂珩猁fat sai扂珨隅頗釬腕善﹝

眕狟暫璃炵 oli 枑堤 暫妯 扂疑洷咡褫眕逋坴腔猁妯 鍔坴嶱陑

釬祥善湮模凱楠扂﹝

ㄟㄠㄘ扂☆滌★ㄛ?岆瘁斕腔嶒ㄛ斕飲珨隅猁箏扂﹝

ㄟㄥㄘ垀衄湮湮?廢癩肮汜ㄛ斕斛?窒飲?腕﹝

ㄠㄢㄘ扂蜁賡砩斕?倅棨棤謑炸垮M講蜁疑怮滔ㄛ砫蜁疑掀扂忡﹝

ㄠㄥㄘ婓扂腔攬衭醱ㄛ扂洷咡斕褫眕桶政腕掀載屧扂肮駟?扂ㄛ脹華膿躅扂﹝

ㄡㄠㄘ扂潝砩斕贗薯馱釬ㄛ筍飲猁專講喲嶲顯扂﹝

ㄡㄡㄘ蜁疑傖?斕廣?僅疑飲?☆岆筒★ㄛ蜁請憩葯扂硐桶尨斕陑佷﹝

ㄡㄤㄘ斕猁祥扂琌☆扂斕★ㄛ瘁扂樑偞斕蜁扂﹝

ㄡㄧㄘ扂?潝砩腔珧ㄛ斕蜁?窒飲冞ㄛ祥綎ㄛ婓杻腔赽ㄛ愩愩冞珨爺徽﹝

呥猁萸砓＆橾湮＊ 腔賦駁contract筍岆扂橇腕饒腔沭璃猁耋燴﹝扂珨隅猁釬腕善﹝

秪峈徹珨璃岈ㄛ 扂橇腕扂疑倷腦﹝ Oli 岆珨跺疑隴啞岈腔躓攬衭﹝坻勤扂饒繫疑ㄛ 扂珨隅猁勤坻邧旋gum 疑﹝