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| I've been in London now for precisely two days, though physically three, even though it feels like forever in my heart. I'm really enjoying it here, but there's something that's missing....something so crucial to my life that his absence feels palpable. It's one thing to be in a beautiful city and another to experience it. I know that I must make the most of my time here, but two days have already been more than I can handle.
The busy London streets are not bothered with things concerning me, nor do they really have any reason to. I suppose I just feel very behind in this fast-paced place....and a bit lonely. In a place with such a high concentration of people, I'm finding it really hard to find company, so I'm left with a pair of rather large shoes. Sometimes I just walk around in them.
The people are nice, but they are just that for now. Nothing more, nothing less. These cordial relationship, if you can even call it that, are not what I'm used to. I remember feeling this way at the beginning of my freshman year, but it was different. This isn't like that. This is people simply being cordial and only just that. Nothing more and nothing less.....and really, wanting nothing more...nothing less. So that's what I am now, the borderline of nothing more, nothing less, and I just want to be whole again. I just want to see him again.
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| Pure Dark Chocolate isn't bittersweet, it's just bitterI don't know when or why I decide to update my xanga, but I think it's safe to say it's usually when I have nothing better to do. I am most likely the only person from the 8th grade that still has their account, and I i use it proudly....that is, knowing full well that no one ever uses 'xanga' anymore. Even 8th graders today, only 6 years after my transition from junior high to high school, are so much more technologically advanced. I sound like an old person, I know, but when I say 'technologically advanced', I really mean spoiled.
My brothers looking in to by a PDA phone and my sister's griping about her iTouch no charging enough. Don't get me wrong, I own an iPod video of my own (it was a graduation gift), and yes, I do consider myself spoiled at times with all of the affordable, but not really affordable luxuries available to us. Seeing how everything has changed in the past few years, it was even more shocking to see how much Owasso has changed in the few months since I've been home. I come home and now my little brother is driving me around, something I had done for him for the past three years of my life. Restaurants and shopping centers pop up like daises, as other businesses are weeded out like dandelions. All of my brother's friends are almost two feet taller than me--the same kids I used to make PB&J sandwiches and give juice boxes to.
My brother friends are the only ones who have changed, but I'm beginning to realize that this summer is not going to be like last, but more like those to follow. After two years in college, many of my high school friends, though remaining in Oklahoma for the school year, have taken internships across the country. Philadelphia, Hartford, Chicago, New York, China and Thailand....they all might as well be on the other side of the world. I suppose the presence of these friends is a comfort I had thought would always be there for me when I came home from Indiana. However now, ironically, I am back here, and they are over there...wherever there is. Everyone has so many more experiences under their belts now, begin seasoned undergraduates and its bittersweet to see everyone really growing up.
My sister made her last trip to the Grotto, the last trek across campus from South to North quad, her last meal at the dining hall and her last drive up Notre Dame Ave. towards that beautiful Golden Dome that had symbolized home for her for the past four years. To get a little geeky, because this is my blog and I can say whatever I want...
South Dining Hall = the Great Hall
Notre Dame Football Stadium = Quidditch Pitch
Father Sorin Statue = Dumbledore
That Guy with the Beard in NDH = Hagrid
and Interhall sports/Hall of the Year = House Cup
It's just making me realize how different things are going to be from now on. Not that it's a bad thing, just different. I've changed to...going in a direction I wouldn't have been able to think of a two years ago, but that's how it happens. But let's just enjoy this summer for what it is with who we can. And then we can grow up.
***23 more days until Floriday :D
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| Note: Jens Lekman is pronounded "Yens Leck-min".
David Lynch is insane. If I ever have to watch Eraserhead again....I might lynch myself...and I'm not just being witty. It's one thing to be obscure and esoteric, but grotesque and painfully discomforting images and a dialogue-less plot really make you paranoid. Though he changed the cinematographic range by expanding and altering "boundaries" by pushing all sorts of limits of discomfort and anxiety, it's really more than one with a weak stomach can muster. Collecting from German expressionist influence and classical horror cinema (dealing with concepts of fear, anxiety, horror, and being emotionally disturbing) rather than the usual current film noir or avant garde (though if you tried hard enough, I suppose you can catch some glimpses of them...though I doubt it). However, as disturbing as the whole experience was, and it was, an experience, you do have to give credit to his originality, especially in his sound design that create an entire extra dimension. Lynch was known for taking obscure recordings of things and layering them over and over and using it in his films, so much that the haunting, sinister melodies hung to the fabric of the film like layers of aged dust. It's meant to rub you entirely the wrong way, with its ominous dissonance and even more grotesque images. I don't know why, but he had a thing for dead animals. Just watch the DVD menu screen of Eraserhead and you'll know what I mean.
We started our first radio show for the semester today. Check out http://wvfi.nd.edu every Thursday @ 2 for you Easterners and 1pm for my Centralites (that is, my Oklahomans). Me, Danny, Steph, and Shannon make up the eclectic bunch of DJ's known as "Turquoise Love" Check it out. [["Turquoise" & "Love" are the only two words that do not translate or exist in the Japanese language. So, I'm sorry for all of our Japanese listeners. We have nothing against you. We love you. We just life the irony more.]]
Today's musical compilations included Jens Lekman (of course), Voxtrot, Les Savy Fav, Pete Frnacis, Tokyo Police Club, and some more that I can't recall at the moment.
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| Winterbreak InstructionI've learned a lot of things over the break so far, and it's only about two-thirds of the way over.
About movies:
- Going into a movie with absolutely no idea of the plot line or even genre is kind of fun. It makes it a suspense film even if it's not listed as one at imdb.com. So I suggest you go into the movie store, close your eyes (maybe spin in some circles) and grab something off the shelf and try not to look at it as you check it out. Go home and enjoy the suspenseful romantic comedy, thriller, horror flick, action-packed-testosterone-fulled film, intergalactic sci-fi saga, or Lifetime-esque movie. Whatever it is, it'll at least be exciting for the first thirty seconds where you try to guess what movie it is by it's 1) Opening scene 2) Intro music 3) and/or actors/actresses. The only exception is if you happen to grab anything with Steven Segal or Keanu Reeves in it...then I suggest you drive back to the movie store and demand your money back (or explain some sort of theatrical allergy to such horrible acting).
- Sneaking a pot of coffee with mugs into the movie theater makes you feel cool like a spy and intellectual like a tool. It's fun ^_^
About food:
- Buying things like Popsicles (i.e. Bomb Pops, Fruity Fruit Bars, Goin' Bananas Pops, or Lemon Ice Squeezies) or Ice Cream Bars (Hagaan Das Vanilla Ice Cream Choc. Bars, Sundae Cones, or Ice Cream Sandwiches) are ideal treats for initiating a big group hang out, feeding a big group already hanging out, or simply just to satisfy a sweet tooth. They usually come in packs of 6-12 and if you buy them by yourself or with just one other person, there is no way you'll be able to finish them yourselves. So what do you do? Call other people to come help eat them. It's simple.
- If ingredients are available/attainable, making your own pizza is always much more fun than ordering out.
- Flour has many more uses than just baking/cooking. It makes an excellent non-violent but extremely funny weapon.
- Dining on Brookside, Cherry Street, or downtown are always more interesting alternatives than the regular Chili's, Applebee's, On the Border, or El Tequila.
- We should really reinstate Egg Roll Day and follow it up with Dumpling Day.
About friends:
- It really doesn't matter how long you've been apart or haven't spoken to each other, because piling fourteen people onto one futon is always going to be awkward.
- Spontaneous hang-outs are fun. It doesn't matter that you planned on watching a movie and got twenty minutes into it when Friend 1 and Friend 2 show up and you end up talking for three hours about Planes, Trains & Automobiles [etc.].
- You can still make new friends in an old town.
- Board games are an excellent alternative to drinking (although in college, many have incorporated the two)
- Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold. I promise to live by the Girl Scout Law (this said while holding up three fingers on my right hand)
- taking a walk together is sometimes all you need
- Yard work can be fun...but only on the occasion of cleaning of broken up tree branches to throw them into a massive fire, and raking up leaves in a huge pile to play in them.
- Even if you don't do anything....it's still fun.
About family:
- When your 16 year-old brother gets a footy pajama set from your 21 year-old sister...gosh darnit, he's gonna wear it every occasion he gets.
- We never call each other by our legal, normal names.
- It was only a matter of time that mom picked up the guitar. Her three children play, and she wanted to join the family band, debuting with her very own original, written by herself entitles "I am very poor, I need fifty dollars". Look for it in 2009. (I have video of this, but lucky for her, I'm on our dial-up computer and by the time I get it up on xanga, it'll be out in MTV.
- No matter what, your curfew is always different from the night before (usually not in your favor)
- they like to abbreviate things like "HIMYM" pronounced "hymium"
Let's see what the remaining one-third of this break will teach me.
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| i'm coming home.
i want to see you.
give me a call.
i h e a r t y o u O k l a h o m a
10.21.07--10.27.07
And since xanga won't doesn't have State Radio in their archives, this is my Currently Listening To section:
Artist: State Radio
Album: Us Against the Crown
Song(s): Right Me Up, Camilo, Riddle in Londontown
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