I haven't written here for so long I've almost forgotten how.

I miss life. I miss the innocence of summer and just getting to know eachother. I miss being told I'm pretty by someone whose opinion in that mattered. I miss the fire in my heart and the joy in breathing. I miss the optimism. I miss feeling close in every way. I miss just enjoying every minute of our time together. I miss feeling young. I miss having hope. I miss being able to talk to you like a best friend and not a stranger. I miss not being lonely or scared. I miss being about to trust blindly. I miss knowing. I miss being sure of things. I miss having people to look up to. I miss the hugs were you didn't want to let go. I miss you.

Disclaimer: I am not depressed, just reflecting.

It's almost Christmas and I thought I would notify all of you:

I'm not getting christmas presents for people this year because of having to pay off school. My family and a certian few others may get them, but that will be a suprise to me and them. SO, don't buy me presents please. If youwant to do something, write me love letters and assure me that you still love me.

Side note, School is killing me, I hate it so much right now. I can't wait for next week!! I love school and learning things but all the tests and homework is crazy.

I seem to have withdrawn from almost everyone I know. I don't know why I'm doing it, but I am. It's slightly strange. Maybe it's just a stage I'm going through and I'll be over it soon. But by then it may not matter. I will never understand myself I don't think.

Merry Christmas all, I hope you remember the reason for this holiday and love with the heart Christ has given you. Because this world doesn't need more people who know everything, or even a little bit of something, or people who argue religion/theology all the time. Anyone can do that. What it needs is people who love with the heart of Christ.

"Where the heck are my spanky pants?!?!"