We are not the same persons this year as last, nor are those we love. It is happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.

I'm glad we had the times together
just to laugh and sing a song
Seems like we just got started,
then before you knew it,
the times we had together
were gone.
-Dr. Seuss

Life doesn't give you the people you want.
It gives you the people you need to help you,
to hurt you, to love you, to leave you
and to make you into the person you were meant to be.
Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that
can pretty much change your life forever.
-Felicity

If children have the ability to ignore
all odds and percentages, then maybe we
can all learn from them. When you think about it,
what other choice is there but to hope?
We have two options, medically and emotionally:
give up or fight like hell.
-Lance Armstrong

I'm a firm believer in serendipity:
all the random pieces coming together
in one wonderful moment, when you
suddenly see what their purpose was all along.

-well, school is starting on thursday, kind of bittersweet about the whole situation. but, i guess ill see what happens this senior year. and i am SO HAPPY to be the class of 2009 because i FINALLY get to get away from this place FOR GOOD.

 leadership totally has my heart :)


core camp 2008-2009.
sigh.. last year as a delgate. but next year as a consulant perhaps? :)

everyday i get a little better. a little stronger & a litter wiser. im happy that i continue to get over my ways with him and finally realize that its perfectly fine to be JUST FRIENDS. its harder to turn a relationship into a friendship then a friendship into a relationship. it truly is. but nothing good comes easy. really.
What ive Realized:
dont ever let a man MAKE YOU or BREAK YOU. dont give a boy a chance to even get into your heart until you utterly and completely know that you want him in your heart. it sounds so much like a overused quote but someones the oldest saying are the right advice. be strong. have a strong heart. GIRLS; be YOU dont let a man have you and decide your life. no one should do that except yourself. trust & learn 

HURT, dissapointment, anger, HATE
i know i can never be with him. its immposible because, i am the other girl. he picked her over me, and that such a sad reality. either way, someone gets hurt, and i'm so torn. i cant get my mind off things, i need to get away. he's constantly on my mind 24/7 and when i think of him with her, it makes me cry and realize that she has everything i never will get back. he says that over time i will get over it, but time takes so long. and i need to get over him. i  want him & i need him. i cant keep on going back to him, but he's my best friend. he makes me so happy, but i hate what he did to me. maybe that's what real love is.  knowing you have every reason to hate them, wishing, hoping you could hate him, but in the end, still loving them. i love him and i care for him so much and it feels that he doesnt even realize it. and i just dont see why he wont be with me, i gave him everything and i know i wont marry him, i understand that, but i want to be happy my senior year, and be happy WITH HIM. but he just doesnt seem to get it. and i'm so confused on what i want. i thought about a rebound guy, but thats just not what i do, and i thought about cutting him off completely, but he's too much of a big part of my life to let go. i'm fine being his friend, i mean i really am, but when i see him with her, it just like a stab to the heart, like he's showing off the trophy i'll never be. i pray that i can get over my love for him and that i dont care for him as much, but its not going away, and it hurts, it hurts so bad, and i need to get him off my mind. i pray so hard, pray when i cry that i can have the strenght to get over him and the power to let him go. but its so hard.
lord, please help me.