First and foremost, I'm planning to change my Xanga layout soon, it bores me. And did you notice its purple, what was I thinking? Just joking, but yeah, sooner or later. I'm getting sick of my computer too. Its taking over my life, you know what I mean? Every hour or so, I get back to the computer to see whos on and what not. Kris lets go back to the Y and go running. My computer went all blue screened and what not so I turned to wiping the drive. I kick myself for it, but at least I can use it again. My pictures from April to July are gone, and most of my pictures are from my digital camera which I got in May/June. Chris said that my D drive would still be safe, he was WRONG, and thats why I was so willing to wipe it because thats where I kept my pictures. So, anyway I've been reinstalling, downloading, and personalizing the desktop. Its a theme of muaves and oranges. I'm back to ME and missing the blue-ness of XP, but hey at least my scanner works again. Why am I speaking like this, especially online? Mainly its because of someones xanga and how they say how unappropriate the grammer online is. Hes right, but this way takes too long, and all I want to right is 'lol' but I can't. This is so uncomfortable, but I do believe it'll get me back to school work nicely. It'd be very funny if I started my essays with 'lols' and abbreviations. Recaps are boring. Camry and I attended Kristine's symposeum (sp?). It was a brief (2 hours) reminder of school, because the kids did their little lectures. It really looked like they'd grown together and had a lot of fun during their summer work. Hearing Kris talk about their little talks and comfortable atmosphere makes me miss that XQ8 thing more. Lets see, Yrvin bought a new electric guitar and named it Mussolini, but probably not for the sake of naming his guitar for an Italian prime minister and dictator. Yesterday, Jon and I had a conversation about Filipinos in his area compared to mine. He said something about how if you said "Filipino ka ba?" or "Are you a fob?" they'd look at you funny. I find that highly amusing and how odd. Around here all you have to do is say "HOY!" and you have a new friend . . . . well you know what I mean. He also said something about how snobby they are. Are they snobby here? No, not really. Evryones cool with each other to the point where theres a fine line between groups. Theres these Filipinos, and then theres these. You know what I mean, but still its not like their gangs/cliques or whatever, we just tend to seperate. However, there are some kids who just fit in with both. I think all we need is a formal introduction and we'd all be friends. Rachels leaving for California today! Hope she has a safe trip. In a few minutes I'll be off to the doctors to get my high school card thing signed. Its really annoying because I was jus there 3 months ago to get some other paper signed. Mother took my blood yesterday, shes skilled, its like a very slight feeling when she does it. Lots of plans to carry out before school begins. Julie and I planned a theater hoping day for this friday, I hope we could both make it. Theres still two sweet sixteen parties coming up. I find it funny how dates are settled when it comes to my Nutley friends, but when it comes to my Filipino ones nothings ever done. We still have to set a date for Six Flags and have fun and make our little single. We also have to set a date for our picnic. It'd be a nice get together where we could just play around and chill. Cam thought of integrating those two, but then some people won't be able to make it. We shouldn't worry about it because we have our own rides to worry about. Filipino Expo August 16 and 17, too bad Cam will be in Florida. Its a chance you can't pass up, there'll always be more Expos to come. I plan on having Darryl sleep over and I'd bring her to the Expo. That would be fun, like old times. I still have 5 books, 2 movies, and one essay to do before school. I'm happy to say that I'm happy. And not just content either, I'm happy.
im lazee enuff to not wanna do the html. me redy nd dressd fer jussys swt 16. gosh juss hope i not overdressd. im wern da dress frm da flores de mayo. wen i rsvpd juss was like okee iun kare u can wer jeans pr a skirt juss dont get too dressd up. wen she says too dressd i hope she means poofy. went to dornay. hung wif carino, chris, nd rex. we wen lookn fer lockrs, changd, nd ate. rex nd ryan don like rides. buttheads. lol tita joy was all like sayn ow us grls (cam n kris nd me) r brave nd watnot. haha nah ish juss dem boys r poltry. den found out othr ppl wer der. lol i called kitties fone nd sum guy answerd. <hyper chick> hi! can i speak to kittie? <guy> "who" "kittie!" "wrong number..." carino sed itd b funnie if he thought u sed tittie. haha beri funny. caught up wif kr, kittie, jared, sareen, nd raquel (sp?). went on water rides. dey bounced. chilled wif honey, mia, nd jenny. went on talon twice lol we brought derek, hes so lucky he has spikes or els he wodn have gotten on. i wantd to go on steel force, but nahh it was too late nd no one wantd to join me n chris. neways rex nd ry wen go karting nd dey took ferever. chris slept ovr wif rex nd ry. nd i went sleepy wif achey feet. gotta bounce to dat partee i was talkn bout.
looking back on when we first met, i cannot escape and i cannot forget. a few days ago a song started to play and idunno buht the music itself, not the lyrics, made me want to cry. its a love song. i juss finished a book few days ago, in one sitting. so sadd, so moving, yesh i cried. benn feelin so emotional lately. i have nothing to cry bout haha someone kick me. anyway, ever been in one of those moments where everything breaks down around you, theres nothing you can do, and theres so hope watsoever? everything is cryable but in the end you just dont. is it really strength that keeps you frum crying or is it the mere hopelessness of the situation. well enuff of the crying. got back from miss cali monday night, evrything was fine cept dat we got delayed like 2 hours. airport ppl sed something bout how nwr airport wouldnt let planes in cuz o thunderstorms nd i was like god forbid we crash nd der was no wood to knock on, made it back safely thank god. the vaca in itself was nice. i forgot how much i loved long night drives. meeting hazel i alwys tend to come back knowing a few games. nd the ppl there don't seem as uptight nd choked up as east coast ppl. best part of the vacation wer the last three days. mother's reunion at the sheraton. met abuncha new buds, nothing like my frends here but more like those family friends type of friendships. you know, where nothing matters. uhm how can i describe it, i guess thats the only way, cuz ur accepted, nd nothing matters cuz we all da saim. we all think the reunions corny, we all wanna kit, we all kno wat it feels like to b american/canadian flips, we appreciate the same music, we all dance wen anything comes on. like family friends, lol cuz theyll alws b there, ur never embarassed in frona them, nd you dont have to make them like you or b extremely polite nd nice bcuz yall bug on each other anyway. darryl, u missd da best reunion. lol ninang esther (reunion coordinator nd ninang, in my possesion i now have a necklace nd earrings) said "I'm sure everyone enjoyed esp. the teen-agers, mabuti naman. I had emphasized time and again that the teens had to do something otherwise, I could just imagine how they would look like in the party." lol we didnt just stand at the party, nahhh lol round 20+ kidds up nd lets start dancin in fronna ppl we don kno, nd no rents had to prodd us either, rnt u proud, ehh it doesnt sound as great as i thought it was, juss disregard it then lol. i put those three days up with cams cotillion sleepover, nd da dude ranch. it was that much fun but 3 days nd 3 diff places. got the report card. lol finals woah. ish good that they only count fer such a lil percentage for the 4th markin period grade. very proud of the a frum russian final nd b+ on us history final. it seems to me that my strenghts are history nd english. i want to go directly opposite. pooh. nd my final grade rounded off to a 4.3 pooh agen, cooda done so much better. i promis to do better, only if schoo could come sooner so i cood start. lol im funni like that. evryones in ler, in lerv, shall i bring myself to say it? in . . . love. ahh the bigg L word. lol i wanna b in love. ooh well later on then i guess. i sound like a child. mommy i want her dolly. deary we'll get you her dolly later. okay mommy. i think i shall shut out my negativity nd continue. very happy for you, try as much as u can, promise nothing, have funn wif it. do i think you'll last? well if uve gotten this far then you deserve to last. ders an unstable ground btwn my family. lol during vaca godd u wouldn blieve my behavior. well i didnt do bigg things juss enuff for rents to say that ive gotten worse, wat happened to me, nd pinch me. which is a really upsetting thing for them to say, making my self esteem lower, nd made me rebel a bit more. i guess it was uncalled for, but they are unaware of how annoying they are nd how stupid they could b at times. its like they have blonde moments nd wen u wanna poke fun u cant cuz u must respect ur elders. erarg. better now i guess, ben keeping my mouth shut. =P. cammys leaving. i can wave bye bye at all airplanes i see frum thurs till aug 3. ders jussys nd ladybyrds swt 16s to look forward to, i guess. wonder if ill hab a frend to tawk to ther, prolly will buht juss ben so long since schoo. thers iveys party.. i guess. lol im ungrateful i kno. im sure ill end up having a good tyme, i alwys do. intresting, sareen has an angel. how wonderful, it looks like hes mighty cheesed up. carinos back wi joanna how swt. ahh dose r the onlee interfesting pros ob ppl on. someone do my xanguh, da way it looks righ now is too complicated. bleh. how come the most interesting place to look on is the past, never the present.
haloo new jerzians, hows the east side? airplanes suck. ya get all d`z nd quee`z. we left on friday 11:30ish n da foood smells like spoiledness adding to the queasyness. pick up baggage nd walk outta da airport nd its like may agen, 70ish e-z bree-z bootiful sunshine nd palm twees. ahh. this trip is ta vaca nd sitesee in cali nd ders a reunion thing fer me mommy on july 4 5 6. me ninong manny (ninangs comin on thurs), hazel (15) nd charmaine (12) r travelin wif us momzy dadzy me (15 muehe 2 months older) christian (13) traveln in a grn van thing lol i havn rilly chekd its ass to c wat it is but the steern weels got a ram. firs we went roun san diego to look fer a chinese buffet cuz hazel n char wantd food, whilst i was still blah-ing fr airplane food. we went frum the cute colorful buildings to the ghettofied area wif da she-he-no-wait-he-she ppl. den rents dcided to skip diego n go lose their money. so hazel n em ppikd up their maletas fr their cuz's house nd rents ate den dey took us kids to a chines buffet n we took a 5 1/2 hr drive fr deigo to las vegas. we playd i went to the store, which is better, do u wanna buy a duck, i went to school, squares/camps, bs, nd we sang along n we arrived in las vegas at 1:30am pac or 4am est gawd i fell on da bed n died. we're staying at mi frends hoose 7 mins frm vegas nd shes livd here fer a yr nd b4 it she lived in silver lake belleville nj. i woke nd realized how HUMONGO their house is. its gorgey nd decorated wif vahses (oriental/arabic) nd dark wood furniture. da outsides kinda stuccoge windows. sooo gorgey. 2 masterbedrooms wif their own bathrooms (wif a standup shower ea a toilet ea 2 sinks ea n one tub each. da rents bathroom's tub has jets) 2 othr bedrroms, 2 1/2 other bathrooms, electric fireplace, high ceilings, entertainement area (wif a HUMONGO FLAT BIGSCREEN), beuteus kitchen, oy u cood jus die. lol rhea (13) has da 2nd master bedroom wif a canopy bed n dats wer da chics r staying. her nd her bro john (12) got their own comps, dvd players, nd vhs plyrs, boombox/stero. nd mind u their moms a med tech nd pops a hotel dude. neways saturday we chekd out the complex their livin in, its like a normal area but secluded wif fences nd owned by a company who stations a guard at the front of the area. so we also chekd out da sample houses. oy i wanna take this house nd move it to jerzee iun wana movve to nevada buht i love the house cheap too. aftr dat they took da kids to eat cuz da rents alredy ate flip style bbq. kids ate at dis hotel/casino at a buffet thing. lol me nd hazel were like woah thos is da bigges buffet weve evr seen its humongo lol. lol da dessert area had soo many various pies nd cakes nd puddings nd icecream. woah. den we went bouncing off to 3 diff casinos/hotels (venetian, rio, sopmething dat starts wif a B) da maddame tussauds wax museum by venetian, on da strip chekn out shows nd waterworks n watnot. had dinner at the rio another buffet (oy stopp feeding us) lol we playd a rillly long round of do u wanna buy a duck a wat a duck does it quak of course it quacks do you wanna buy a duck. n we got home roun 12am pac 3am est. im on rheas compy. her nd hazel b sleepn, chars on da one armed gorgey couch thing. nd im yawning too. ew this blog is so impersonal. iunno how long we stayn here by vegas but dey also plannin to go ta arizona ta see mah cuz, n dey sed b4 we'd go to los angeles n tihuana in mexico but i not sure if we'll have time cuz we hedin back to deigo on thurs nd den ders da reunion den back home on da 7th. i wanna go beach! not sure if we'll do dat either. cali nd nevada are gorgey buht i want my densely populated new jersey. lub yaz. hope to share inner thoughts nd intellectual theories soon rather than accounts of feetaching days. shouts to rhee rhee, tiny, nd woolie (psst not sure if i bouncin by a mall to find ur anchor blus either) nd acc to cams cuz, peace to da midlle eas. <yawn> 1am pac 4am eas.
if i lost faith and confidence in someone would i still be their friend? would i? i mean i trust, love, understand this person but if i didnt believe that they were capable of what they claim to be, would u still call me their friend? well i do have a loose connotative meaning of the term friend. lol julie claims to have no friends just mere acquaintances. i say that every person i introduce myself to and am comfortable speaking with is a friend. to me there are various degrees such as friend close freind and best friend buht a friend is still a friend. i dunno. lol recently ive found myself to be stuck in a corner with no one to back me up. who knew? ive always believed that my perspective is a justified one, is very fair, is the one everyone believes in, is usaually the best because i personally think that i take things in all perspectives and pick the one that makes the most sense with or without compromises, buht wen it comes to the point that it is only i that has this statement. i start to think that im either overreacting, overdramatic, and am soo self centered that i have all this confidence in myself. u know when u bend the truth in order for it to not sound as if its your fault or if its wrong. lol i always do it. i juss realized how rude and painful it is to be at the recieving end. y not jus tell the whole daym truth and nothing but it? ...lol so u wont get in trouble i know. buht its still so freggin rude. who knew, who knew. i ben told to mention rev.... uhm... "rev". ive also been told to give him a few sentences. sentences consist of a subject, a verb, and a punctuation. rev eats. he sleeps? he smells! three is a few right? anyway ~~>he asked her and they've been together ever since. but where is it? wheres this damn feeling shes always heard about. she understood what being together meant, it meant rights to stare at each other with out turning away, it meant always knowing he'd be there for her, it meant having someone to put down when it cames to stats, it meant rights to drawing mrs. him all over her notebook, it meant being able to kiss him without being questioned. but she doesnt feel any different. "i've grown up being told that girls with boyfriends are cool. i've grown up being told that as soon as you have a boyfriend life changes." she sighs and feels deprived or at least unsatisfied. "they are soo wrong." she breaks up with him the following day. she grows up not believing in love. she feeds everyone the chemical reaction shit when it comes to the question of love. i cry for her.
