I'm sick of people acting like they're tarded! Suddenly my life is consumed with drama and bullshit. I'm so tired of it!
For once I am taking a stand! I wanna get what I want! For once in my life I am hopping onto the selfish train and commendering it! This vessel is under my control biatches! This my fucking life and I'm fucking running it!
I don't know how many other ways I can go about explaining the situation that I am in to people. My folks! My friends! Except for the three kind gentleman, the two fair maidens, and the husband! Watch out friends! I'm fucking angry and fucking tired of bullshit!
The bitch is back!
I have to do certain things (ie live in a cheaper/closer/"not as safe"/"not as nice" place because I have to! It may not be like the "certain way" others are accustomed to, but that is okay by me! I have little choice and I'm sorry that I am poor, person that doesn't seem to get it-you should know who you are! I just have to do this. I have to! I am getting a little money from my folks and I can't lose them by going against them! How would you like to be in that place! But then again nobody gets it! I'll say it again: My dad's working his ass off and trying his damnedest to make a living in a job that he fucking despises. While my mom is got God only knows what disease...Is it MS? Is it lupus? No one knows!
I've always had to make my own way! Friends of mine don't understand that while my folks can occasionally spot me a few bucks- they have a mountain of medical bills and such! Even with their insurance, the bills are still crazy! They try and wish that they could help more, but can't! Sorry my parents are still trying to figure their lives out and I feel absolutely terrible asking anymore of them. Yeah, its their job to support me, but its also their job to not lose our house, or be able to pay medical bills and stuff! They simply can't help me as much as other people's folks and that's fine! I want to earn what I will someday have! I want to own it! I want to feel accomplished and happy with things.
I'm sorry if you feel that I have wronged you! I tried to explain my situation and obviously to no avail! I still wanna be friends and I don't wanna lose you! I just wanna help you understand that everyone is different and not everybody can have all the help they need all the time! There are people worse off than me in this world. That doesn't make them bad or make them foolish. Maybe they have different standards, but that maybe all they have. So their corner of the world isn't as expertly decorated, as nice, or as landscaped as yours, but its theirs and that's what is important. I'll live among them and share that world if its what I have to do! It will help me grow and give me perspective. And some day I'll be able to sit my sweet-ass house and look back at that little apartment and smile. Look how far I've come! I wanna make my folks proud and myself. Someday I'd like to give them all the things they deserve. For busting their asses for me and my bros. For doing without things for themselves, to give us things and oppurtunities!
Sorry. I am from a different world and its kinda brutal, but I have no control of where I have come from! I do have control on where I am going!
I am determined! I am sorry! I am ready to do what's necessary of me!
Loren I am sorry! Don't hate me! This is just the hand that I was dealt! And someday it'll all be better.... | 
