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| Post Midterms... finally.Life comes far, and life comes fast. It leaves one standing in the middle of a new scene franticly clicking her red slippers together repeting "There's no place like home. There's no place like home."
And then realizes that she's barefoot.
These past three weeks have been a lot to handle, but God has been good and sustainied me--as usual. Sleep was rare and work was--well, there was enough of it to keep me in a perpetual state of sheer fear. I still haven't had to turn in a late assignment yet though. So, that's happy. I'm ready to begin to catch up on my sleep though. I started to feel it getting to me at the end here; when it starts to sink into your bones. The academics have stayed up though. :) Its been a challenge with life thrown into the mix, but God definately knew what He was doing when He had me only take 12 units. We can leave it at that.
I've come to own this tornado that seems to be my life. Granted, putting up wallhangings has proved itself difficult, I think I can manage. Everything between work, Spain, writing, school, friends, and everything else we don't want to admit has been taking up our mind's (and heart's) time has been an interesting juggle, but almost all my balls have managed to stay in the air.
But I miss my family terribly. A new thing for the girl who told her mom she was going to school on the East Coast when she was in 7th grade, but I do. I miss them terribly. My sister is growing into a beautiful young woman and has a horse, and my brother is making his way through academia at an amazing pace. And I want to see my grandpa. -sigh-
Saturday I went with Mer to D.C. to see the cherry blossoms!!! It was beautiful and amazing and perfect and just good--in every sense of the word. All exaggerations aside, I really can't remember ever having taken an entire day out of my schedule just to relax and be with friends.
Last night the girls and I went out to dinner which was so fabulous. The entire first half hour of the conversation revolved around our academia which was simply nauseating when we realized it. Blah. But no academics, no silly boys, no nothing; just six simply amazing girls and a night dedicated to laughing at life and the past few weeks that have consumed our lives. It's sad how we all lose eachother when our academics start to roll, but I guess that's how life is. I'd like to say it's a stage, but we all kind of know we're working girls. We couldn't live if we weren't overcommited... or maybe that's just me.
I have learned an awful lot these past few week though. Many of my friendships have shifted again, and sorrow and joy have been felt in both extremes. God has really been putting me to the test and I've had to do a lot of soul revamping. -nods- It's been good.
One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard:that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving.Psalm 62:11-12What more can a girl ask for?
He has given me hope when I searched for it's glimmer to no prevail.
My God is amazing. My family is amazing. And well, I'm still thinking about keeping my friends, but I think I'll have to sit on that one for awhile. I'm going to go love my life and try to keep all those balls in the air. | | |
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 [But how does one fly while still looking at their feet?]
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| Valentines 2007...... was amazing. That's a first.
That dress and heels two posts down? Well, I got to wear them
somewhere--the Valentine dance, which I had not anticipated going to.
But the night was terriffic.
Eric and Kirk took Sam and I to dinner at the Eiffel Tower Cafe. It's
in Old Town which is adorable. And it's French which is amazing! [Picture of the hot couples below.]
People raved that it was the best Valentine dance to date--which is no
shocker considering my date [and wonderful friend] was the host. Granted we had to do door
duty for awhile, but juggling pink and red balloons helped ease the
pain.
What's black and white and red all over? Not a newspaper. Or a sunburnt penguin.
[Eric and Me]
Yesterday was just another day though. I worked. Made about $10 a
table, so that's happy. Although answering "drinking hot choclate and
reading a book" every time a table asked what I was doing for
Valentines when I got off got depressing. Esepcially, since EVERY table
I took asked. [Yes, people. There are still single people in the world.]
The shocked look on their faces started to sting after awile too.
But I came home to find this on my bed. I named him Lobo in honor of it's giver.
[I'm glad somebody still realizes this.]
Needles to say, I love my friends.
Which is I guess what Valentine's is about. Love. Even if it does only
exist in a sick, twisted, depraved form. We can still show our friends
how much we try to love them which means more than if we could actually
love--it's that much harder. If love was easy, it wouldn't really mean
anything would it? Atleast we can try. So here's to my friends. xo.
 Laughing or yelling I will always love these two.
[Sam, Me, and Mer]
 The duo, post dance. And no. Kirk and Eric did not mean to match.
[Kirk and Sam // Eric and Me]
 Retardnards? Yes, we know.
[Mer and Me]
 Dancing fiends. Let me tell you...
[Sam and Me]
 Smiles and black halters never go out.
[Jen, Lancee, Me, and Sam]
The only thing missing was Lix.  Missed you beautiful girl.(Oh, and Matt. We missed you too.)
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| Fairtales.Once upon a time, in a land not so very far away there was a princess. She lived in the highest room, in the highest tower, of a beautiful stone castle with stained glass windows and a huge moat with her family who loved her very much. She wore a gown of pink, trimmed with lace and a shiny gold crown that sat upon her head. It was a little big, but that's because it wasn't hers. She liked to laugh and she liked to read. She loved to write. She kept a flower pot on her window sill where she whiled away the hours... just talking to her flower. She had many friends. Most of them were mice. But her favorites were the birds. They often flew to her window where she would spend days watching the clouds above and people below.
The little girl grew up--very fast--more than any princess should ever grow. She grew out of her smile and into the crown. The birds migrated south when winter came. It never really left. Her flower died, but she still talked to it. And she still watched the clouds. She dreamt of leaving the castle to make her own. To find adventure and beauty and world beyond. To do what the people below did; to laugh, to love, to live. But what business does a little pink princess have trying to build her own castle anyways?
So she sat at her beautiful stained glass window in her pretty pink dress and gold crown; contentedly watching the clouds and writing her life away.
The end.
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| Spring 07 thus far.It's 9 degrees outside.
-1 if you count the chill factor.
Or so says the flashing ladybug in the righthand corner of my screen.
I can't handle this weather.
I'm working 4 days a week.
I miss my family terribly.
My sister and brother... Their birthdays are in 3 weeks. She'll be fifteen. Fifteen! Do you have any idea what monstrous trouble I was in when I was fifteen? Fortunately, she has an older sister who holds death over her head if she ever finds out the younger is in any such trouble. I never had such a sister. *sigh* He'll be thirteen. Thirteen...
I bought a black dress with Lancee yesterday. It's beautiful. It's from White House, Black Market. With red satin heels. They have a bow. They're magical. Nowhere to wear them. Nobody to wear them for--except myself. Lucky girl, I know, I know. You're jealous. Please. Keep your green to yourself.
School? Going well for the present. I decided to officially double major this semester; journalism and government (track: public policy). I'm excited. My professors think it's great. There isn't actually a policy concerning double majors. I'm the second (Sarah Pride is the rumored first). Hip hip hooray? [Lord, I've got to be out of my mind.]
Highlights of the semester: None. I think it's appropriate to say though, I've learned a lot thus far. Only a few weeks in and many of my relationships with people have dramatically changed. I've been thrown pretty hard. Really hard. God has plans though. Jeremiah, right? "For I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD." Plans to give me hope and a future, right? I believe so. At this point, I've got to. My relationships are completely transforming. Growing up most of my friends were guys. Growing up my best friends were guys. Now I look around and am surrounded by giggles and lace. Either social standards are changing or my friends are.
"If God is about to do something, I won't have it. It's not going to happen. I won't listen."
"That's probably not safe."
"Yeah... Not so much, hm?"
Rant of the semester: Ooooooooooooooooh the choices. Definitely number one: My relationship with you is independent of my relationship with [insert name here]. I've had this conversation on three--count them, three--separate accounts. [Person a] might have hurt [person b], or [person a] might be mad at [person b], but that does not mean I am mad at [person a] for hurting [person b] or mad at [person a] for being mad at [person b]. Revenge is not my antidote for the hurt, broken, angered, or wronged. I know I sound like a hippie, but it's all about love. I hurt that they're hurt. I'm upset that someone might unjustly be upset with them. But I do not find it my position to take up their burden. *exasperated sigh* So that might not be entirely true... If I don't know the other party involved I might have negative feelings towards them. But if I do know both parties, I am able to separate my relationships. I guess that's the advantage of growing up in the middle of a fight.
Lesson of the semester: I've come to realize I see myself much differently than I ever thought I would. It's a conflict of knowledge. While I know one thing to be true, what I feel--not even what I feel based on my emotions, but how I act and respond to situations (which tells far more)--is completely contrary. I'm torn. I've realized I have no idea who I am.
So here's to life. Here's to friendships. Here's to learning. Here's to redemption. Accountability. Forgiving and forgiveness. Growth. Understanding. Patience. Listening. Introspection. And coffee. Lots of it.
 [Mis mijas. xoxo.] | | |
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