| | Spring 07 thus far.It's 9 degrees outside.
-1 if you count the chill factor.
Or so says the flashing ladybug in the righthand corner of my screen.
I can't handle this weather.
I'm working 4 days a week.
I miss my family terribly.
My sister and brother... Their birthdays are in 3 weeks. She'll be fifteen. Fifteen! Do you have any idea what monstrous trouble I was in when I was fifteen? Fortunately, she has an older sister who holds death over her head if she ever finds out the younger is in any such trouble. I never had such a sister. *sigh* He'll be thirteen. Thirteen...
I bought a black dress with Lancee yesterday. It's beautiful. It's from White House, Black Market. With red satin heels. They have a bow. They're magical. Nowhere to wear them. Nobody to wear them for--except myself. Lucky girl, I know, I know. You're jealous. Please. Keep your green to yourself.
School? Going well for the present. I decided to officially double major this semester; journalism and government (track: public policy). I'm excited. My professors think it's great. There isn't actually a policy concerning double majors. I'm the second (Sarah Pride is the rumored first). Hip hip hooray? [Lord, I've got to be out of my mind.]
Highlights of the semester: None. I think it's appropriate to say though, I've learned a lot thus far. Only a few weeks in and many of my relationships with people have dramatically changed. I've been thrown pretty hard. Really hard. God has plans though. Jeremiah, right? "For I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD." Plans to give me hope and a future, right? I believe so. At this point, I've got to. My relationships are completely transforming. Growing up most of my friends were guys. Growing up my best friends were guys. Now I look around and am surrounded by giggles and lace. Either social standards are changing or my friends are.
"If God is about to do something, I won't have it. It's not going to happen. I won't listen."
"That's probably not safe."
"Yeah... Not so much, hm?"
Rant of the semester: Ooooooooooooooooh the choices. Definitely number one: My relationship with you is independent of my relationship with [insert name here]. I've had this conversation on three--count them, three--separate accounts. [Person a] might have hurt [person b], or [person a] might be mad at [person b], but that does not mean I am mad at [person a] for hurting [person b] or mad at [person a] for being mad at [person b]. Revenge is not my antidote for the hurt, broken, angered, or wronged. I know I sound like a hippie, but it's all about love. I hurt that they're hurt. I'm upset that someone might unjustly be upset with them. But I do not find it my position to take up their burden. *exasperated sigh* So that might not be entirely true... If I don't know the other party involved I might have negative feelings towards them. But if I do know both parties, I am able to separate my relationships. I guess that's the advantage of growing up in the middle of a fight.
Lesson of the semester: I've come to realize I see myself much differently than I ever thought I would. It's a conflict of knowledge. While I know one thing to be true, what I feel--not even what I feel based on my emotions, but how I act and respond to situations (which tells far more)--is completely contrary. I'm torn. I've realized I have no idea who I am.
So here's to life. Here's to friendships. Here's to learning. Here's to redemption. Accountability. Forgiving and forgiveness. Growth. Understanding. Patience. Listening. Introspection. And coffee. Lots of it.
 [Mis mijas. xoxo.] |
| | Posted 2/5/2007 12:01 PM - 2 comments
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