Who beat rushhour traffic and construction zones? Yeah that's right ME! The Pittsburgh gods were shining down on me the past two days. I took Rae to the 'burg with me. First we went to Weirton. She got to see where I grew up and play with my kitties! They loved on her and we got to eat some Chinese with my parents (who were both in oddly good moods) We played with my kitties and hungout for an hour or two before heading out. We picked my sister up from work downtown and then went shopping in Squirrel Hill and Shadyside. We both spent too much on make up in Sephora, but managed to get out without too much financial damage.

We went to the Harris Theater downtown on Liberty. We saw Mister Lonely, please go see it. SOOOO messed up. It needed some editing, but other than that the movie was pretty sweet. If you liked Gummo or Kids I recommend it. When we got out of the theater it was raining, newspaper umbrellas and an offer from a man to walk us to the garage with his real umbrella later, we ended up at the Beehive sipping on coffee. My sis and I took Rae to get a big girl drink at Dee's Cafe. $1.25 PBR's all around. hah. Took Ray back to her place, she opened up the Big Idea for us and let us shop around. Rae got Manifesto- amazing book, it REALLY makes you think about life.

Rachel went inside to sleep and Rae and I got diner fries at Ritters. When we were down playing with old jukebox tunes we ended up at Silky's Pub. Random BSing and small talk with the bartender. It was a really good time, small little pubs are really the best. We stayed up watching Cheater's and ended up sleeping in.

When we finally got up and ready for the day we ended up back in the Southside. Jed was working at the PitaPit there so we got a pretty cheap and awesome lunch. I got a mint mocha from Car. Coffee which was heavenly. Went shopping in the works stores and the goodwill. Then we went to Very Cherry which is an art and antique store run by some guys from Buffalo, NY. So nice and unusual. They have an AMAZING art collection. Orgasmic. Really. They have a huge Alice in Wonderland painting I want so bad. We small talked to the owner and his son for about a half hour before rolling out with a few choice pieces. Then we went to a few more shops around East Carson.

How does one find themself conversing about the let downs of porn mixed with random musical covers with Cheeze in his southside shop? I don't know, but Rae and I did. Funny to think that everyone has seen Pirates. We talked aobut how boring it was and how it is almost impossible to lose all interest because of the cut-scenes. I told him about my fraternitys porn and pizza night once every month, and he said he had some real class act ones I could borrow. (The point of a porn and pizza party is to make fun of the subpar porn and eat and get sidetracked and hangout with your friends- though I haven't been to one yet.)

When we left his shop I ran in hot Rod to look at some plugs. Nothing struck my fancy so we left and ended up driving to Mount Washington. We walked along the path, snapped some photos of the city, and had our moment of zen. The clarity and calmness that surrounds me when I go there is so surreal. It's like falling in love. Sometimes I think maybe I do fall in love with places more often than people, it's easier, and you don't expect it in return.

The drive out of Pittsburgh was easy, no traffic, no rain. We got into town a bit late, and we were both exhausted. I went home to put things away, and Johnny came over. We went to eat at Los and then I ran in target. I ended up back at his place where we watched The Ben Stiller Show. I think it did a really good job of capturing a snapshot of the early 90's. Time flies, it really does.

This morning I slept in, got up and went for a short drive. I think a quick buzz around town is the best way to say hello to the waking world. I talked to Johnny and Micah, possible plans with both for later. I think I'm going to make myself some coffee and take a walk downtown.....Art tonight? I have 3 different ideas floating around in my mind currently. If I sit down I'm sure atleast 2 can be completed tonight.

Oh yeah, remember to smile.

Which is worse: Hell or nothing?

I'm not sure which. Probably nothing. So My lsat was....eh I dunno, it was. I'm glad that it's over, and I can't believe that my steps to becoming a lawyer have begun. It's frightening to know that you're growing up, that you're part of the mess of the world, that you'll be a contributing member of society. I hope money doesn't change my hopes and dreams. It will.

No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments when you should've been paying attention. Well get used to that feeling. That's how your whole life will feel some day.

I got a job at the Pita Pit. My friends and one other will be my coworkers and bosses. I can have any color hair I choose, tattoos, piercings, whatever. I can wear jeans, listen to good music, and yell at drunk people. I think to get a job there you have to look like you're part of a subculture group. Jed hired me on the spot, said I could start Friday and on Thursday he'd get me lunch and show me the works. This will be one of the last jobs I have that isn't buisness casual or above.

The idea that I can't share my problems with other people makes me not give a shit about their problems.

Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known.

I surround myself with intelligent people. We talk about art, music, history, love, politics, philospohy- things that matter. The pretention, the research, the fights I think it's how we deal. Another way to kill the time.

Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism.

The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.

I got those flowers for Valentine's Day. Cadmium red on white roses. fitting.

Drugs or overeating or alcohol or sex, it was all just another way to find peace. To escape what we know. Our education. Our bite of the apple.